


Juliet, The Dice Was Loaded From The Start

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Banter, Comfort/Angst, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Family Issues, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hate to Love, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Pining, School Play, Trust Issues, mostly personality-wise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4912537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“I just…” Louis sighed again, “...I don’t know what to do with you. I don’t know what to do with myself.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Come here,” Harry held out his arms. Louis turned and looked at him suspiciously. “Soft, remember?” Harry reminded him. Louis nodded and allowed himself to be embraced by Harry. They stood there together in the empty hallway, Harry holding onto Louis. And it took a moment, but a tiny fist came up and balled into the front of Harry’s t-shirt. And Harry could feel something that sounded like soft little sobs coming from Louis.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Soft,” Louis whispered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ve got you until you tell me to let go,” Harry said, continuing to hold Louis in his arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t let go,” Louis plead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I won’t.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No matter what, Harold. You better not let go.” </em>
</p><p>To Harry, Louis has always just been one of the Big Kids from down the road. To Louis, Harry has always just been another spoiled brat used to getting anything he wanted. So, what happens when Harry is the love interest to Louis’ last leading play?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the song "Romeo and Juliet." I love the cover by The Killers and recently found out it's originally by Dire Straits. So credit goes to them. 
> 
> Also, this idea came to me the other night and I've spent the last few days just developing it a lot and I have big plans for this and am so excited to share it with you. I really hope you like it as much as I do! I'll still be working on "This Is How It Starts" too. Things have kind of died down in my life so I can get back to writing...yay!!!
> 
> Also, please note that this chapter does contain mention of spanking of children. I do not condone corporal punishment of children in any form. But I just think Des was probably a strict parent who loved Harry very, very much but held him to a high standard and probably didn't let him get away with too much. So that's how I wrote Des's character. A good, loving, but strict father. So please keep that in mind as you read this chapter. And that this is all a work of fiction. 
> 
> Anyway, this first chapter is more of an introduction to the characters and their dynamics as well as Louis and Harry's relationship to each other. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Harry Styles had encountered Louis Tomlinson several times throughout his life.

The first, being when he was seven years old. Louis Tomlinson was one of the Big Kids of the neighborhood. He hung around a lot with the Styles’ next door neighbor, Zayn Malik. Harry had often seen them playing together in the Malik’s yard from his bedroom window. He often wished to play with them, but he was only seven and they were eight. And they wouldn’t want to play with a baby.

The day in particular that Harry first encountered Louis was a very, very bad day. All day he’d been in a fussy mood. And Gemma was getting on his very last nerve. Angrily, he’d gone outside to kick his soccer ball. But as he was alone with his thoughts, his anger just built and before he could stop himself, Harry kicked the soccer ball with every amount of strength his seven year old leg could muster - right at the kitchen window. Glass shattered and Harry had froze. He knew he was going to be in Very Big Trouble. So he did the only thing he could think to do, he ran.

He knew Zayn Malik had a treehouse in his backyard. Harry ran up to the treehouse, figuring it was as good a place as any to hide. When he climbed the last wrung of the ladder, his heart stopped. Louis Tomlinson was leaning against one of the walls, legs crossed at the ankles. He was reading a Spiderman comic. His little baseball hat hung to the left side.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked, pulling the comic from his face and setting it aside.

“I-I did something bad,” Harry’s voice cracked. He tried to will himself not to cry. Louis was a Big Kid. Harry couldn’t cry around him - he just _couldn’t_. But the tears were already falling. Louis sighed as if he were exasperated, but kneeled up to wipe the tears from Harry’s cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

“Sit with me,” Louis said, sitting back against the wall and patting the spot beside him. Harry sunk down on the ground next to Louis, pulling his knees to his chin and hugging his legs. “Did you kill someone?” Louis asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“What? No. No! Of course not!”

“In my comics, the bad guys kill people. If you didn’t kill anyone, what bad thing did you do?”

“I-I broke a window,” Harry slowly rocked back and forth, he couldn’t stop the tears if he tried.

“Oh,” Louis’ mouth formed a perfect ‘O.’ They were silent for a moment before Louis asked, “So, you’re worried you’ll get in trouble, then?”

“My dad…” Harry shook his head, “He’s gonna be so mad.”

“What’s he gonna do to you?” Louis asked, picking at a splinter in the wooden floorboards.

Harry just shrugged. He knew what his dad would do. His dad would spank him. Or worse. Harry had only ever had Or Worse once. And that was for slapping Gemma across the face when she had accidentally broken his toy plane. Harry never wanted Or Worse ever again. But he wasn’t about to tell any of this to Louis.

“I sometimes see you and your dad outside,” Louis began, “He plays ball with you a lot.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, his voice quiet.

“You’re close then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded again. He was terrified of his dad when his dad was angry. But he knew his dad loved him. He always played with him and asked him about his day or would take him for ice cream. Everyone told Harry he was like a Mini Des. And Harry knew his dad stood a little taller when they’d say so. Harry loved his dad very much. His dad loved him too. But he didn’t put up with any tantrums or acting out. Harry would be in Very Big Trouble for breaking the window.

“ ‘m close with my parents too,” Louis said, still picking at the splinter as his brows pulled together in thought, “but all they ever do is ground me. ‘m technically supposed to be grounded right now. But they didn’t say nothin’ about hangin’ out next door with Zayn.”

Harry’s frown deepend. He didn’t know why Louis was telling him any of these things.

“Tell you what,” Louis nudged Harry’s thigh with his knuckles, “I’ll tell your dad I broke the window.”

“Louis, no!” Harry gasped, “You...you can’t!”

“Why not?” Louis shrugged.

“Cause,” Harry shrugged too, “You’ll get in Very Big Trouble.”

“So?” Louis shrugged again, “Worst that’ll happen is I’ll get my Nintendo taken away. I think I’ll manage.”

“You’d really get in trouble for me?”

“Course, Curly. C’mon. Let’s go find your dad.”

They’d headed down from the treehouse together and had walked to Harry’s house hand in hand. Louis had wrang Harry’s door bell and Des had answered looking very angry. Harry had hid a little behind Louis, who only squeezed his hand just a slight bit tighter.

“Sir,” Louis took a step forward, “My name is Louis and I live a few houses over.”

“I know who you are, son,” Des sounded very impatient. Harry hoped Louis’ plan would work. He really, really didn’t want a spanking.

“I just needed to tell you, sir,” Louis stood a little taller as he said, “I broke your window. I was playing with the soccer ball and I kicked it a bit too hard. But I have an allowance and I’ll pay you back. Promise.”

Des had looked from Harry, to Louis, then back to Harry before saying, “Harry Edward, is this true?”

“It is!” Louis said before Harry could open his mouth, “I’m no liar, sir. And I am sorry. I have forty bucks saved up under my mattress. I can get it for you now. How much more do you reckon you’ll need?”

Des’s face softened only slightly, “I am afraid it’ll cost a lot more than that, Louis. However, I will make you a deal. You give me twenty of your forty, and we’ll call it even. You keep the other twenty to keep saving up for whatever it is you want to buy, alright?”

“Yes sir!” Louis nodded enthusiastically, jutting his hand out to shake. Des took it and shook, smiling slightly.

“Very well then. You see that you bring me that twenty then.”

“I will sir!”

“Harry, go inside and help your mother set the table, alright?”

Harry didn’t want to say goodbye to Louis, but he knew better than to talk back. So he let go of Louis’ hand and gave him a small wave before Des ushered him back inside by the shoulder.

Harry never did get in trouble for the window.

And the next day, there was twenty dollars in mostly change stuffed in an envelope in their mailbox.

The next encounter Harry had with Louis was the next year. They had still seen each other around, of course. But they only ever waved. Louis was a Big Kid and Harry was still a baby. Harry couldn’t really blame him for not wanting to hang around him. No one wanted a baby tagging along. But the next year, something changed in Louis. Before, he would wave and smile when he’d see Harry. Now, he would just look away. And Harry heard from Gemma (who was in Louis’ grade) that Louis was always getting in trouble in school. She talked over dinner how he’d been sent to the principal’s office every day that week - and Wednesday he had been sent twice.

Harry didn’t understand.

Louis was such a good kid. He was sweet. He’d saved Harry from getting in Very Big Trouble. And Harry was forever grateful for that. But Louis had changed a lot. That winter, while waiting on the bus, a bunch of the younger kids had built a little snowman. It was cute, Harry had thought. But as Louis had walked past it, he kicked it hard and snow went flying and the little kids had cried. Louis had sneered at them and had kept walking. He didn’t stop for the bus. He walked all the way to the school in the cold. Gemma had told Harry later that he’d arrived for Home Room twenty minutes late and had gotten in trouble for tardiness.

It was as if Louis wasn’t the same kid from that day in the treehouse. And Harry didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why Louis was so angry all the time. It hurt him to see Louis like this.

Spring came, and there was the annual neighborhood Father Son Fishing Contest at the local park’s lake. Harry and Des went every year. That year though, as Harry was helping his dad organize the tackle boxes, Des said -

“You should ask Louis if he wants to tag along on our team.”

“Why?” Harry asked, “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I don’t know about that,” Des ruffled Harry’s curls, “You never know. Besides, word around the neighborhood is right before Christmas, Mark left Louis and his mom and those girls. Hasn’t been back since he took off. Don’t go spreading that around though, Harry. That’s his business and no one else’s. But...it might explain why he’s been acting out. He’s hurting. I think it’d be good of you to invite him to fish with us this year. Boy doesn’t have a father right now. That’s gotta be hard.”

Harry couldn’t even imagine what not having a father would be like. He adored his dad. His dad was strict with him, sure. But Harry was quite certain he would never abandon him or hurt him. He had seen how sad Louis had looked the past few months. Des sometimes hit Harry for acting up. But Harry was quite certain a spanking here or there was nothing compared to the hurt Mark had caused Louis.

So that afternoon, Harry had knocked on Louis’ door. Louis had answered, a sister almost as big as him propped on one hip.

“Hi,” Harry said shyly, “My dad and I were wondering if you’d like to fish with us on our team on Saturday.”

Louis’ eyes turned to ice and Harry’s stomach knotted as Louis said, “I don’t need you or your father feeling sorry for me, Harry Styles.”

“I know that,” Harry wrung his hands, “but we just thought it’d be fun for you to join us…”

“Listen,” Louis hoisted the girl on his hip a little higher as she started to slip. The sight hurt Harry - seeing Louis who was still a child, holding a child as if she were his own. Louis continued, harshly pulling Harry from his thoughts, “I don’t need you or anyone else feeling sorry for me, Harry. Got that? Now don’t ask me things like that again!”

The door slammed in Harry’s face.

When Harry got home, Des had said, “Just be patient with him, okay? He’s a good kid. He’s just hurting right now.”

Harry tried to be patient.

Harry was patient from the rest of elementary school and into middle school. And Harry was patient in high school too. Patient when Louis would be leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. Patient when Louis and Zayn got suspended for letting a stink bomb off in the girl’s restrooms. Patient when Louis pierced his lip. Patient when Louis’ friends shoved Marty McPearson into his gym locker and left him there for two whole periods. Patient when Louis pretended Harry didn’t exist - as if he were completely invisible.

And it was hard. So, so hard. Because all Harry could think about was the little boy in the treehouse who’d risked getting in trouble to keep Harry out of trouble. Harry wondered who was keeping Louis out of trouble now. Did anyone care that he was even in trouble to begin with? Harry cared. Harry cared quite a bit.

The next time he’d encountered Louis face to face was in tenth grade. Louis was a junior and Harry had stayed after school to work on the school newspaper. When he was heading down the hallway, he saw a bunch of Louis’ friends. Louis wasn’t with them, he noted. Neither was Zayn. But the boys that were there, Harry recognized instantly. They were the boys he avoided at all costs. And right now? They were currently tormenting a Freshman named Marcel. Everyone knew Marcel. It was a little hard not to know Marcel. He wore thick glasses and sweater vests. One of the boys, Calvin, pulled the glasses from Marcel’s face. Without even a word, he snapped them in two and threw them to the ground.

Harry wanted to step forward. He desperately wanted to do something - anything. But there were five boys and only one of him. He glanced around, desperately trying to seek out a teacher or a staff member for help. As he was trying to figure out what to do, a voice shouted from the opposite end of the hall.

“Hey!” Harry instantly recognized the voice. It was Louis’! Louis was marching toward the boys now, hands balled into fists as his side.

“Tommo!” Oli grinned, waving him over, “We’re just getting a little acquainted with our very good friend, Marcel. Aren’t we Marcel?” Oli pulled Marcel into a headlock. Harry felt his stomach churn as Marcel cried out in pain.

“Fuck off, Oli!” Louis yanked Oli’s arm from Marcel’s neck, “All of you!”

“C’mon, Tommo!” Calvin grinned, “We’re just havin’ some fun!”

“Marcel?” Louis turned to Marcel who looked as though he wanted to die, “Are you having fun?”

“N-no,” Marcel stammered. Harry’s heart went out to the kid.

“Well there’s your answer,” Louis folded his arms over his chest, “Doesn’t sound like everyone was having fun, Calvin. And where’s the fun in that?”

“Louis…”

“Shut the fuck up, Brandon,” Louis snapped at the other boy who’d dared try to speak, “Just...go fuck off. All of you!”

The group all glanced to Louis but did disperse. Harry wondered what kind of power Louis Tomlinson had. As they scattered off down the other hall, Louis bent down to pick up Marcel’s glasses.

“Hey,” Louis’ voice was soft and gentle. It very much reminded Harry of the treehouse, “You alright there, kid?”

“ ‘m fine,” Marcel lied, taking the glasses from him.

“I’ll try to keep a tighter leash on them,” Louis patted Marcel on the shoulder, “You’re gonna be okay.”

And with that, Louis turned to head back down the direction he came. This time he spotted Harry, standing there and still staring very much in awe. Harry took a chance and decided to try his hand at talking to Louis. It couldn’t hurt, right?

“I’m sorry!” Harry started, “I should have done something...but I just...I froze.”

“Yeah, well good thing I came along or else Marcel may have wound up with a bloody fucking nose, Styles. God. You’re useless!”

“ _Me?_ ” Harry gasped, jogging slightly to keep up with Louis’ pace, “They’re _your_ friends, Louis!”

“No,” Louis turned sharply, “They’re people who tend to hang around me. That doesn’t make them my friends, Styles. I wouldn’t...never mind.”

“What? What were you going to say?”

“Just...I wouldn’t be friends with guys like that, alright? They’re assholes.”

“You seem to enjoy their company,” Harry pointed out.

“There’s a difference between hanging out with people for the sake of having people to hang out with, and genuinely enjoying their company. They amuse me. They have good video games. And sometimes I can bum cigarettes off them. But that’s about their only use in my life, Styles. What were you going to do back there if I hadn’t come along?”

“I...I don’t know,” Harry wrung his hands. He did know, was the thing. He knew he’d still have been frozen in place had Louis not come along and saved Marcel from whatever horrible fate would have met him.

“Useless,” Louis shook his head again.

Harry frowned, “ ‘m not useless, Louis! I just...I didn’t know how exactly to react back there. There were five of them and only one of me.”

“Five of them and two of you if you count Marcel, Styles. Besides, they wouldn’t have laid a hand on you.”

Harry’s brow furrowed and Louis merely tacked on -

“They wouldn’t dare,” before darting off down the upperclassman hallway.

Harry didn’t follow.

\--

“They wouldn’t dare,” Harry muttered, mashing buttons on his X-Box controller, “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Who knows with Louis Tomlinson,” Niall laughed, taking a zombie’s head off with a machete on screen, “That boy is an absolute mess. You don’t uh...you don’t still have your um...thing for him, do you?”

“You mean my hopeless crush that will never go anywhere and will leave me to pine in utter lonesomeness?”

“Christ,” Niall muttered, “The dramatics with you!”

Harry chuckled lightly. He blamed his dramatic side on his flare for Oscar Wilde. But he knew Niall had a point. Harry had been hopelessly pining after Louis Tomlinson pretty much since seventh grade, when he first started to really notice Louis more and more. But Louis had kept his distance and was always cold and distant as ever. And Harry was frustrated - so, so frustrated. But it was as if his heart couldn’t let go of Louis Tomlinson. Harry oftentimes wondered if it was possible he may have fallen in love in that treehouse all those years ago.

“Annihilated, mother fucker!” Niall shouted, fist pumping as his score flashed on the screen. He’d killed eight more zombies than Harry had. Harry blamed Louis for distracting him and getting inside his head.

What the fuck did “they wouldn’t dare” mean anyway?

\--

The next time Harry encountered Louis Tomlinson was when he was in the eleventh grade. Louis was in twelfth that year and was really coming into his own more and more. He wore tight-fitting skater t-shirts and black skinny jeans that looked painted on. He’d grown his hair out a bit more, so that it was fluffy and whispy and almost to his shoulders. He’d taken the lip ring out although Harry had thought on several occasions what it would be like to kiss Louis with his piercings in. But he tried not to entertain those thoughts.

Currently though, he was sitting in Principal McGiven’s office, staring straight ahead at the clock on the wall above the mahogany desk. Louis was in the chair next to him, slumped over and looking bored as fuck. He had a cigarette tucked behind his ear. Harry quite wanted to snatch it and stomp it onto the floor. Fucking disgusting was what it was.

“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Louis growled, “I wasn’t the one who put dissected squid in the air vents.”

Harry gripped the arms of his chair so tightly his knuckles turned white, “Louis, I _know_ you were the one who did that! And you tried to frame me for it! I could get suspended!”

“You will not,” Louis scoffed, flicking his fringe, “ ‘sides, it was just a harmless prank.”

“Harmless...prank?” Harry nearly choked, “Louis, you stole dissected squid parts from the biology lab and put part of them in the air vents and the other part shoved in the back of my locker. You _framed_ me for this! The whole upperclassman hallway reeks of dead, rotting fish and _I’m_ going to get in trouble for it!”

“You could have just taken the fall, you know,” Louis pulled the cigarette from behind his ear and flicked it over his fingers, “but no. You just had to tell Principal McGivens that you suspected I was the culprit. And now here we are. While she decides on a proper punishment for us. And it’s all your fucking fault. Couldn’t have kept your damn mouth shut, could you Styles?”

“Oh shut up!” Harry had had it with Louis and his pranks and his careless attitude, “I’m not gonna lie and say I did something that you did, Louis.”

“ ‘s not hard,” Louis put the cigarette between his lips, “I’ve done it for you, remember.”

And well shit. Harry really, _really_ didn’t want to go down memory lane right now. He couldn’t deal with that at the moment, “Louis that was different. I didn’t try to frame you and I didn’t go behind your back. You offered because you didn’t want me to get in trouble with my dad.”

“How is old Des anyway?” Louis asked, his tone biting and sour, “Tell me, H,” Louis turned to Harry, removing the cigarette from his mouth and smiling with exaggerated excitement, “do you and your daddy get along? How are things at the ol’ Styles house?”

Harry gripped the armrests harder. He knew Louis was just trying to get a rise out of him. Truth was, as he had gotten older, he and his father had developed a great relationship. Des just always held Harry at a very high standard, more so than most kids were, Harry supposed. But Des loved him, that was clear. And when Harry had first come out two years ago to his family, Des was the first one he’d told. And Des had hugged him and had been so loving and supportive. And Harry really couldn’t have asked for anything more. And looking back on his childhood and how he was raised, he wouldn’t change anything. Sure, getting a whipping for slapping Gemma wasn’t exactly fun. But their household never lacked for love or laughter or joy. And Harry couldn’t help but wonder then if Louis’ own household lacked those things. The vision of Louis holding his sister like she was his own child when he was still so young himself flashed through Harry’s mind like a subliminal message.

“Tell me,” Louis seethed, poking Harry in the cheek with the cigarette, “What is life like at the Styles’ household?”

“Stop it,” Harry gritted through his teeth, “You wouldn’t know a thing about it.”

“Course I wouldn’t. I don’t have a mommy and a daddy like you do, Styles. Bet they help you with your homework when you don’t understand a problem. Bet you and your dear ol’ dad still go to those damn annual fishing contests. Bet you help your mommy make pie and you and your daddy fix his old Jaguar together on the weekends and…”

“Shut up!” Harry shouted, the volume of his own voice surprising him, “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know anything, Louis! I am sorry your family life has been shit. I’m sorry your mom works three shifts at the hospital and you’ve had to raise your sisters. And I’m sorry your fucking dad walked out on you. But you don’t get to try to make me feel guilty for having the family I have!”

“What did you just say to me?” Louis stood slowly from his chair and Harry’s heart raced, “Did you _really_ just fucking say that to me, Harry Styles?”

“I did,” Harry stood from his own chair, “And I’d say it again too. You’re unhappy with your family life so you feel you have to attack mine? Fuck you, Louis. Fuck you!”

Louis moved closer, his hands balled into fists at his sides. For a moment, Harry thought Louis would strike him. He swallowed hard, trying to hold his ground.

“I know you’re struggling,” Harry said, choosing his words carefully, “and I’m sorry you are. But it’s no excuse to be an asshole, Louis.”

“Fuck you, Styles. You don’t know anything about my life,” Louis spat the words out as if they were a bad taste in his mouth, “So just shut the fuck up.”

“ _Mr. Tomlinson!_ ” Principal McGivens scolded sharply. Neither Harry nor Louis had heard her come in. She closed the door behind her and came around to take her seat at her desk, “Both of you kindly sit down, please. And Mr. Tomlinson, put that cigarette away or so help me…”

“It’s not even lit,” Louis rolled his eyes, but put his cigarette in his pocket anyway, “Why am I even here?”

“You’re here because Mr. Styles has informed me that he thinks you were the one who put the dissected squid in the air vents. Now then, Mr. Styles has never once been in my office before. I have no reason to think that he’d be behind this prank. But you, Mr. Tomlinson? This sort of thing has your name written all over it.”

“I’m not saying anything,” Louis folded his arms over his chest.

“Very well then,” Principal McGivens sighed, “I don’t actually have proof that it was you. So I am afraid I am going to have to just let you go. But just be forewarned that the next time you’re in my office, and I have proof you are responsible for whatever it is you’ve done, I will not be merciful. You may be excused, Mr. Tomlinson.”

Both Harry and Louis stood to leave when she said, “Not you, Mr. Styles. I want to discuss something with you.”

“Oh...okay,” Harry carefully sat back down in the chair. He clearly hadn’t done anything. Didn’t she believe him? It was Louis! It was _always_ Louis! If anyone was going to have to stay behind and get chewed out, it should be him, right? Harry glanced up to noticed Louis was still standing there, pulling at the fringe above his eye.

“You just said you didn’t think he did this,” Louis’ chin jutted out slightly. He looked defensive. Harry looked at him with confusion. Why was Louis even still here? He’d been dismissed. Surely Harry would have thought Louis would take off without a moment’s glance back at him. Especially after their little exchange earlier. But he was still here, and he looked defensive. It made no sense.

“I don’t. I need to discuss a different matter with Mr. Styles.”

“What is it then?” Louis asked, voice guarded.

“I am afraid I can’t discuss that with you, Mr. Tomlinson. It has to do with Mr. Styles academics. That is a private, protected matter. If you wish to speak to Mr. Styles, please wait for him outside my office on the bench there.”

Louis let out a huff but yanked his backpack up from the floor, swinging it over his shoulder, “Whatever,” he growled, “Not like I give a shit.”

“Mr. Tomlinson…” Principal McGivens said, her voice dripping in warning, “Try not to get in any more trouble...for _today_ at least.”

“No promises,” Louis said, before letting the door slam behind him.

Harry turned his attention back to Principal McGivens, “I’m...I’m not in trouble, am I?”

“No, Mr. Styles. Of course not. For this little incident though, I needed to pull your file. As I was reading through it, I noticed that you’re short one elective. Now then, next year is your senior year. A lot of seniors have a free period because all their electives were already completed the previous years. This free period is filled by going off campus for coffee or snacks or extra studying. It’s a privilege a lot of underclassmen look forward to. Now then...I don’t want to have to take away that free period from you next year. You’re a hard worker, Mr. Styles. You have all As and Bs in your classes. Your teachers only ever have good things to say about you. You’re deserving of your senior free period next year. So I was talking to the academic advisor and she had a suggestion.”

Harry swallowed, trying to process everything Principal McGivens was telling him. He had no idea he’d been short an elective. How had that even happened?

“We’re going to suggest that you work on the winter play,” she continued, “This is the last week of September. Auditions for the play begin Monday. I want you to audition for a part. If you get it, great. If not, I want you to go speak to Mr. Winston, the drama teacher. He’ll put you on as a crew member. I will let this replace your elective as opposed to taking drama or theater production next year. That way, you’ll still get credit, but you won’t have to miss out on your free period next year. What do you say?”

Harry was taken back. He had never acted before. He didn’t know the first thing about acting. But he did like theater. Plays were always fun. And he always heard how close the cast and crew members became. It’d be fun. Harry knew it would be. But theater...that was _Louis’_ thing. Everyone knew it. Louis always landed all the leads of any play. Ever since sixth grade, he’d always gotten the lead. And Louis had a reputation of being very difficult to work with. Harry’s stomach knotted at the thought. If he agreed to what Principal McGivens was offering, he’d have to work alongside Louis for the next two months. He didn’t know if he could do that.

“Louis does theater,” Harry explained. The words sounded very dumb as the dropped from his mouth.

“And Mr. Tomlinson shines when he’s on stage. It’s one thing he’s very passionate about, Mr. Styles. I am sure he’d be willing to give you some pointers.”

Pointers. Yeah, right. Harry had to fight from laughing out loud.

“And if I agree to this,” he said, “it’ll fill my elective?”

“Yes. And it won’t cut into your current class schedule. Auditions are Monday. Friday the casting list will be posted. Then the following Monday will be the first practice. Practice is every day after school for about one to two hours depending. Would that work for you?”

It would. Harry knew it would. And he really, really liked the thought of being a part of something like the school play. Secretly, he’d thought of auditioning in the past, but Louis always deterred him. The thought of having to work alongside Louis was anything but appealing to Harry.

“Um...yeah, yeah it would.”

“So what do you say then?” Principal McGivens asked, “Are you in?”

Harry nodded, “I’m in.”

As he gathered up his backpack and headed out her office door, he was surprised to see Louis sitting on the bench outside her office. When he saw Harry, he hopped up from the bench. Harry was taken back. He honestly hadn’t expected Louis to wait behind.

“What was that about?” Louis asked, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and falling into step with Harry.

“What do you care?” Harry asked. Although the thought of Louis waiting for him, still trying to make sure that he was okay in spite of their little spat earlier, made Harry’s heart pick up a little. He rarely let himself think about or address the feelings he still had for Louis. He knew he couldn’t. Because nothing would ever come of it ever, so it was useless to think on. But still...Louis had sounded almost protective back there. Even if they had almost been about to rip each other’s throats out.

“I don’t,” Louis shrugged, his arm jostling against Harry’s as he did, “just...curious.”

“Nosey more like,” Harry rolled his eyes and Louis let out a breath through his nose that sounded as though it could maybe be something related to a laugh - a distant cousin twice removed of a laugh.

“Just tell me or else it’s gonna drive me crazy!”

“You’re already crazy,” Harry said as though he were reminding Louis of a fact he’d forgotten.

“Tell me!” Louis squeaked, jabbing his finger into Harry’s upper arm. Which, _ow!_

“It really doesn’t concern you,” Harry said, trying to pull away from where he was certain the finger was jabbing a bruise into his skin.

“Everything concerns me,” Louis smirked, “so give it up, Styles. What did she tell you!”

“Okay, okay!” Harry stopped walking, covering his arm with his hand before Louis could strike again, “I’m short an elective credit and she offered me a solution so that I wouldn’t have to fill my senior free period next year.”

“Okay...what’s the solution then?” Louis asked bubbly and impatient.

“Um…” Harry glanced down at the linoleum floor, scuffing his boot over the tile, “...she wants me to audition for the play.”

Louis roared with laughter and Harry fumed because okay, it wasn’t _that_ funny.

“And she thinks you’ve actually got a shot?” Louis was still laughing, clutching his sides now, “That’s rich, Styles!”

“It’s not that funny,” Harry frowned.

“Sure it is!” Louis wiped a tear with the back of his knuckle, “It’s _hilarious!_ You don’t actually think you have a shot, do you? Please tell me you’re smarter than that.”

“I…” Harry bit his bottom lip. He’d like if he had a shot. But he’d never acted before so he really didn’t know. He could be complete shit at it for all he knew.

“What if you don’t get a part?” Louis asked, rocking on the balls of his feet a little, “Then what did she suggest you do?”

“Um...talk to Mr. Winston about being on the crew.”

“So either way I lose here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m gonna have to work with you for the next two months regardless. Just...don’t fuck this up, alright? This is the last play of my high school career, Styles. This is a Very Big Deal to me and I don’t need you screwing it up for me.”

“I...I wouldn’t…”

“You better not,” Louis kicked at Harry’s ankle a little too hard.

“Ow!” Harry frowned as Louis darted ahead down the hall.

“Do you even know what the play is this year?” He called back to Harry.

And really, Harry knew he should know this. He’d seen flyers for auditions all month. He should know. He probably did know. It was probably stored in the back of his mind along with the Pythagorean Theorem. He just couldn’t recall it on the spot though.

“Um…”

“It’s Romeo and Juliet, you absolute dummy!” Louis scoffed. Harry rolled his eyes, still walking towards the doors where Louis was standing, arms folded and looking unimpressed.

“Okay,” Harry could do Romeo and Juliet. He liked Romeo and Juliet. Everyone had made fun of him last year for enjoying it so much in Literature class. But he had really, really liked it. He thought it was so romantic. And while everyone made fun of Juliet for killing herself for a boy, Harry admired her. Because in Harry’s mind, she hadn’t killed herself for a boy. Her father was going to force her into a loveless, unhappy marriage. And the only way Juliet saw to take her life into her own hands, would be to end it. Maybe that wasn’t the point of the play, but that was Harry’s take on things.

“And I’m going to be Romeo.”

“Okay,” Harry said slowly, pushing open the doors to the parking lot. Louis trailed after him.

“And Eleanor is going to be my Juliet because she’s _always_ my leading lady.”

“Okay,” Harry said again, drawing out the word. It was true. Eleanor had always been Louis’ leading lady in the high school plays. She was the Sandy to his Danny and the Wendy to his Peter and the Mary to his Bert. It only made since that she’d be the Juliet to his Romeo too.

“And you will be making us the props because well, you’re never going to get a part.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Louis.”

“No problem,” Louis grinned, still following after Harry as Harry headed to his parking space.

“What’s this?” Louis asked as Harry unlocked the metal box on the back of his motorcycle.

“My motorcycle,” Harry explained slowly, “Lou, come on. I know you’ve seen it around. Or at least heard it. My dad got it for my for my birthday last year.”

“Oh,” Louis’ brows drew together as he examined the bike, “Never really paid you all that much attention, Styles.”

“Gee, thanks,” Harry rolled his eyes, stuffing his backpack into the back box while pulling out his helmet.

“Don’t take it personal,” Louis grinned, slapping the Harley, “I just don’t tend to pay you much mind.”

“Again, thanks,” Harry settled the helmet onto his head, “So...I guess I’ll see you at auditions then.”

“If you still go through with it and not chicken out,” Louis smirked. He moved to stand in front of the bike, resting his hands firmly on the handlebars, “You may puke right before going on and change your mind completely.”

“So nice of you,” Harry rolled his eyes, “Now then, can you please move so I can head home.”

“You not gonna give me a ride then?” Louis asked, raising a brow and still not taking his hands off the handlebars.

“In your dreams, Tomlinson.”

“Rude.”

“And you’re a pot calling the kettle black.”

“You should though.”

“Should what?” Harry sighed, so over this conversation by this point. And honestly, so over how attractive Louis looked gripping the handlebars like that.

“Give me a ride on her sometime.”

“First of all,” Harry smirked behind his helmet, “she’s a he. And second of all, he’s too good for your ass.”

A beat passed as Louis processed what Harry had just said. When he realized the implications of Harry’s words, his jaw dropped and he let out an affronted gasp.

“Styles, you’re wrong on that. _He’s_ the one that’s not good enough for this ass,” Louis reached behind him and smacked his own ass and well. That was something Harry definitely did not need to see.

Harry shook his head, revving the engine, “You gonna move that ass you clearly speak too highly of, Tomlinson. Or am I gonna have to run you over?”

Louis smirked and leaned forward. He reached out and smacked Harry’s helmet before stepping to the side and bowing dramatically, sweeping his arm to display the clear space Harry now had to pull forward out of his parking spot.

Harry rolled his eyes, revved the engine once more, before speeding out of the parking spot. He glanced in his mirror to see Louis still standing there, watching him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the great feedback!! That really means so, so much to me! I hope you all are having a lovely night and that you like this chapter as well :)

Harry had been practicing lines every day leading up to the following Monday. He’d gotten the script from Mr. Winston, who had highlighted the monologue that the students auditioning would be asked to read on stage in front of himself and the rest of the auditioners. To be honest, Harry was so nervous. He was quite certain he’d never been so nervous of anything in his entire life. Louis had made it clear that he didn’t believe Harry could do this. So that made Harry only want to prove him wrong. It made him want it more to the point that he was desperate to score a part in the play.

He’d just finished running his monologue over with Gemma when she said, “Baby bro, I think you may actually have a shot at Romeo here.”

“What?” Harry scoffed, because no. Romeo was Louis’ part. Louis had been acting since middle school. Louis was brilliant on stage - and off, but that was another matter. Harry didn’t have a chance at Romeo. Louis pretty much had his name on that part.

“It’s true!” Gemma insisted, handing Harry back his script, “You’ve always been a bit on the dramatic side, H. And you read your lines perfectly every time with so much passion. It just feels real, ya know? I think you’ve got this in the bag.”

“Louis is Romeo,” Harry pointed out, shuffling his foot across her bedroom carpet.

“Louis is not Romeo until Mr. Winston posts the casting list stating that Louis is Romeo,” Gemma folded her arms over her chest stubbornly, “I’m just saying,” she shrugged, “Tommo better watch his back.”

Harry preened a little at that, “Do you really think I’m good, Gems?”

“Yeah,” she nodded earnestly, “I really, really do. Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t, H. Those theater nerds are gonna be running with their tails between their legs as soon as you open your mouth on that stage. And come opening night, mom, dad, and I will be in the front row watching!”

“Front row,” Harry muttered wistfully. It did sound good. He bit his lower lip as he envisioned it. He’d get the lead in the play. His family would be there front and center. Even his grandparents would probably come. And his mom would give him a bouquet of pink roses (his favorite) and they’d all go out to eat to celebrate. Harry could hardly wait. Except for one thing...nothing was certain yet. He still had to audition. And there was the issue with Louis.

The lead of any school play belonged to Louis. It was how things were. Louis was just phenomenal. No matter how good or how badly Harry wanted this, he knew the part was going to most likely go to Louis. And Harry really couldn’t be mad or upset or disappointed. It was just the way things were. Besides, like Louis had said, this was his last play of his high school career. Harry would feel terrible if he took that away from him.

“Front row,” Gemma nodded, she patted the spot on the bed next to her and Harry sat down beside her, leaning back against her headboard.

“Louis’ll kill me if I get Romeo and he doesn’t,” Harry muttered, pulling at a string on her duvet.

“Oh he would not!” Gemma slapped Harry on the arm, “That boy wouldn’t lay a finger on you!”

“He seemed about to punch me the other day,” Harry frowned.

“He’s just dumb,” Gemma flipped her hair, “but he would never actually hurt you. He seems a tad protective of you, which is a bit odd considering you two don’t interact much.”

“I guess,” Harry shrugged, “The other day he tried to frame me for a prank he pulled. We were in Principal McGivens’ office and we had like a massive argument. I never have seen him look so furious before, Gems. I thought he was gonna punch me. And then, Principal McGivens sent him out so she could talk to me about needing my elective credit, and he looked about to fight her thinking I was in trouble or something. And he waited for me after to make sure I was okay. I don’t...I don’t understand him.”

Gemma pulled at one of Harry’s curls lightly, “I think maybe this play will be a good opportunity for the two of you to maybe actually become friends, H. You two would be good friends, I’d think.”

“He hates me.”

“He does not.”

“He totally does. And besides...I don’t really know how to be his friend. He’s too much, Gem. He’s just...he’s a handful. I wouldn’t know how to handle him as a friend or anything else. It’s better when we’re keeping our distance from each other.”

“Whatever you say,” Gemma hopped off the bed, “Now shoo. I have homework to do and I’m sure you do too!”

\--

When Monday came, Harry felt as though his stomach was twisted into a thousand knots. He felt nauseous and debated asking his mom if he could stay home. But he knew he had to push through. He needed to go to the audition and do his best. Whatever would happen would happen. All day though, leading up to auditions after school, Harry felt sick. Niall even asked him if he wanted to take him to the nurse since he was looking a bit “green.” Harry had said no thank you, and that he’d be fine. He wished he believed his own words, though. When he opened his lunch, he saw a folded up piece of paper. Unfolding it, Harry read,  _“BREAK A LEG HARRY-BERRY! LOVE MOM, DAD, AND GEMS!”_

“Christ,” Harry muttered, putting the note back in his lunchbox, “They’re so embarrassing!”

“I think it’s sweet,” Niall chimed, popping a chip into his mouth enthusiastically. Harry did too, but he wasn’t about to say so.

Instead, he tried his hardest to nibble on his carrot sticks. Food just wasn’t agreeing with his nerves. And it didn’t help matters that he had a loop of Louis telling him that he’d probably puke before going on stage playing through his mind. Thank you for that, Louis Tomlinson.

“You are going to be great, you know,” Niall kicked Harry’s shin lightly under the lunch table, “I have full confidence in you, H. You’re going to be great!”

“Thanks,” Harry couldn’t help but smile. Niall always was so supportive. Even when Harry had once permed his hair a few years back “just to see” NIall had been fully supportive and had even bought Harry the perm product for his hair. Harry frowned at the memory. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best example of Niall’s supportive friendship.

“Really! Louis hasn’t like...said anything to you today, has he?"

“Haven’t seen him yet today,” Harry nibbled on his carrot. He’d been trying to avoid any run-ins with Louis at all cost. His nerves were already taking a toll on him. He didn’t need Louis adding to that by being a pain in the ass.

Harry could hardly concertrate on his classes. Finally, the last bell rang and he gathered his things before heading towards the auditorium where auditions where being held. Niall walked with him and gave him a massive bear hug before releasing him and saying -

“You’re going to smash it, H. I know it!”

Harry thanked him, hugged him one last time, and headed over to the sign-in table that was along one wall. He was number seven on the list (and he thought he’d arrived early!) The name on the very first slot was written in huge messy letters - Louis William Tomlinson (AKA: ROMEO!) Harry rolled his eyes. Well, Louis didn’t lack for confidence, that was something. He signed his name in neat script before taking a seat in the auditorium chairs, third row. He watched Mr. Winston flit around, fanning himself with a script as he barked orders at various people Harry didn’t recognize. Probably the theater kids.

A chair creaked beside Harry and he turned to see Louis sitting down. He tossed his feet up onto the chair back in front of him, crossing his ankles. He turned to smirk at Harry as he said -

“So, Styles. You ready to embarrass yourself in front of everyone here.”

Harry rolled his eyes. Comments like that from Louis were to be expected. He’d anticipated them all day. Still though, they stung a little.

“Maybe in your dreams, Tomlinson,” Harry smirked back, “Everyone’s been telling me you better watch your back.”

“Who’s been telling you that? They’re damn dirty liars, Styles. I’ve got this in the bag. I’m the _perfect_ Romeo.”

Harry pulled a face, “Shouldn’t you be um...romantic? To be Romeo?”

“I am _plenty_ romantic,” Louis flicked his fringe with a dainty movement of his wrist, “You wouldn't know anything about that, though. But for your information, Styles, I am probably the most romantic person on the entire planet. I just haven’t found who I want to be romantic to yet. But when I do, I’ll blow them away with how romantic I can be.”

“Good luck with that,” Harry turned his attention back to the script in his hands. He had his lines memorized by heart by now. But glancing over the script gave him a tiny distraction from the boy sitting next to him. And Louis was a very difficult person to try to distract yourself from. He consumed all attention all the time. It was like he thrived off of it.

“Start perfecting your set-making skills, Styles,” Louis cracked his knuckles, “because God knows you’re not gonna get a part. Mr. Winston may be a prick, but even he woudn’t let you near an acting role.”

“Your confidence in me means the world, really,” Harry placed a hand on Louis’ shoulder and Louis shook him off with a grimace that looked more like he was fighting the urge to smile.

Mr. Winston made his way to the stage, clapping his hands together and tapping a finger on the microphone set up on center stage, “Alright everyone! Welcome to auditions for this year’s play, Romeo and Juliet. For some of you, this will be your last play before graduating. So let’s make it a great one, right? For those of you who don’t know me, I am Mr. Winston. I teach drama. I have acted in small community theater productions and have directed and written my own plays in the past - “

“Yeah,” Louis leaned in slightly, whispering into Harry’s ear - breath hot and tickly, “at the community center. Plays he wrote and directed to be put on for the old folks’ home.”

Harry bit his lip to keep from snicker. Louis smirked triumphantly.

“Thinks he’s a proper Scorsese because he put on a few stinkin’ products at the community center and half the audience fell asleep during the show. Someone get this man a Tony.”

Harry had to bite his index knuckle to keep from laughing. “Stop it,” he hissed to Louis.

“Just giving you some background info on our lovely director, Styles,” Louis folded his arms over his chest, “Did I mention his play that he put on recently was called The Diary?” Harry shook his head and Louis continued, “Can you guess what it was about?”

“No,” Harry whispered, wondering why Louis was even telling him these things to begin with.

“Well,” Louis’ smirk grew into a full-on grin, “it was about a woman who had dementia and who’d forgotten her husband and her children and she’d written down their love story in a diary when she was first diagnosed. Sound familiar?”

“ _You’re kidding!_ ” Harry gasped. Mr. Winston was still yammering away on stage about something, but Harry was far more interested in what Louis had to say to pay any attention.

“Nope,” Louis smirked, popping the ‘p’ before tacking on, “And guess what else?”

“What?” Harry asked, scandalized.

“He had the girl actually say the line ‘if you’re a duck, I’m a duck.’ Instead of…”

“I know the line,” Harry was trying not to actually burst into laughter now. His shoulders were shaking and Louis was staring at him with a bemused and smug look on his face, “Christ. Did nobody tell him that he basically plagiarized Nicholas Sparks?”

“Oh lots of people did,” Louis flicked at his fringe, “He got quite offended. Saying he was an ‘artiste’ or whatever. And that to accuse him of plagiarism was a sin worthy of…"

“Mr. Tomlinson!” Mr. Winston called from the stage. Louis quickly shut up and sat up a little straighter. “Since you seem to be in a talkative mood, why don’t you go first then. Mr. Tomlinson is auditioning for the part of Romeo.”

“Watch and learn how it’s done, babe,” Louis stood from his seat, patted Harry’s cheek a little sharply, before sauntering down the steps and up the little stairs to the stage.

“Thank you, Mr. Winston,” Louis made an exaggerated bow. He went to the mic stand and cleared his throat before starting in on the monologue. Harry watched him, struck. He’d seen every school play Louis had starred in since middle school. He knew Louis was a great actor and very passionate. But seeing him on stage auditioning, that was something else.

Louis commanded the stage. He walked about, carrying the mic with him as if he owned it. As if it were his palace. The other students in the audience clung onto every word he was speaking. Including Harry. Harry couldn’t help but be so taken with him. He was just brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. It was very clear to Harry that this was Louis’ niche.

Finally, Louis took his bow and everyone clapped. Harry clapped too. He couldn’t help but be so, so impressed. He didn’t want to show it to Louis though. They were meant to be rivals, right? But when Louis took his seat, Harry couldn’t help but lean in and whisper -

“Good job!”

Louis preened slightly. Harry noted his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he tugged at his fringe slightly before sitting up straight and squaring his shoulder, “Please,” Louis scoffed, “I could do that in my sleep. Was no big deal really.”

But as he glanced away to the side, Harry saw the smile on his face.

Louis liked praise. Of course Louis liked praise. Most people did. But Harry thought back of all the times Louis was in trouble for something or other - getting scolded or talked down to. He wondered how often Louis had actually been praised? How often people actually took notice of the good things - the brilliant things - Louis did? Harry bit his lower lip, making a silent vow to try to do that for Louis - to try to help build him up sometimes. Not that his ego needed it. But maybe...maybe his psyche did.

“Up next,” Mr. Winston cleared his throat, “Mr. Styles. Mr. Styles is auditioning as...unlisted. Well, let’s just get you up on this stage then, and I’ll see what you’re made of.”

Harry stood from his seat and was about to head out the aisle when Louis grabbed onto his sleeve.

“Don’t choke,” he said, but he was smiling as he said it and there wasn’t a trace of malice in his tone.

“I’ll try not to,” Harry smiled back, tugging his sleeve from Louis’ grasp.

He made his way up to the stage and to the mic stand. The butterflies in his stomach were almost more than he could bear. He was even starting to regret to two carrot sticks he’d managed to eat and hold down at lunch time. He felt like any moment now he could just puke all over the stage. But he cleared his throat and focused on the words in his head, the emotions behind them. He recited the monologue just as he’d done for the past few days to his parents and to Gemma and to Niall over and over and over again. He had it memorized by heart. He felt the words down to his very being as he spoke. And when it was over, he smiled shyly and gave Mr. Winston a little wave before going to sit back in his seat.

Louis didn’t say anything. Which was honestly scary. Harry bothered his lip between his teeth. Why was no one saying anything? It couldn’t have been that bad, could it? Did he really choke? What if he really had just embarrassed himself in front of all these people - and even worse, Louis? Suddenly, Mr. Winston began to clap very slowly. The other students joined it, except for Louis.

“Well, well, well,” Mr. Winston nodded, “I think Mr. Tomlinson may have a rival for the part of Romeo.”

Louis’ jaw dropped and Harry turned to Louis to gage his reaction. He was clearly unhappy. His jaw snapped shut and he folded his arms angrily over his chest. He said nothing to Harry for the rest of the auditions. Not a single word. He didn’t even look at him. If it wasn’t for the seething anger Harry could literally feel radiating off Louis, he would think he’d turned invisible.

At six o’clock, auditions had finished and Mr. Winston dismissed them reminding them one last time when the cast list would be posted. Harry gathered his things and was about to head out when Louis gripped onto his sleeve once again. He hadn’t made any motion to move from his seat. It was as if he were frozen to it.

“You better fucking tell Mr. Winston you can’t be Romeo. Got it?”

“Louis, I’m sorry but that’s up to him. He’ll make the right call. You were pretty brilliant up there. I am sure it’ll go to you!”

“You don’t fucking get it,” Louis gritted out, “this is my last performance before I graduate. I have to be Romeo, Styles. I need to be Romeo. You better now fuck this up for me. Do you understand me? Now you fix this. You’re the one who marched in here like you owned the damn place. You fucked with the balance of things. So you better fucking fix it.”

“What do you want me to do?” Harry laughed dryly at the absurdity of it all, “Apologize for being as good as you?”

“You are not,” Louis’ grip tightened on Harry’s arm and Harry could feel Louis’ fingernails digging painfully into his sensitive skin, “as good as me. Not even in your wildest dreams.”

Harry shook his arm free. “Whatever, Louis,” Harry shook his head. Louis stood from the seat and pushed past Harry and out the auditorium. Harry sighed and pushed his curls back with his hand. He could sort of understand Louis’ point though. Louis owned the school plays. And this was his last play before graduation. Harry did feel like he’d be intruding. Romeo clearly belonged to Louis. He had worked for this part. He had years of drama under his belt preparing him for this. It’d be his senior opus. And Harry would be taking that away from him.

“Mr. Winston,” Harry found himself standing before the man who was fastening a white scarf around his neck with a dramatic flare, “Can I speak to you?”

“Mr. Styles!” Mr. Winston smiled toothily, “Just the man I wanted to see! You were brilliant up there! I am surprised you’ve had no proper training in the theatrical arts. But I suppose you just have a natural flare! Between you and me, I’ve got my eye on you as Romeo. I feel like you’d be excellent!”

“Mr. Winston,” Harry took a deep breath, “I-I can’t be Romeo. That part clearly belongs to Louis’. He’s worked all year for this. He wants this so badly. More than me, sir. It wouldn’t be right of me to take that from him. I can play any other part, sir. I’d be happy to play any other part.”

“I like you as Romo,” Mr. Winston said firmly, “You have this... _finesse_ about you!”

“I appreciate that, sir. Really. But I’ll have my shot next year. Please, consider Louis for Romeo. The lead is his, sir. We both know that.”

“What do you propose I do, Mr. Styles?” Mr. Winston began stuffing scripts and other papers into his briefcase, “Make two Romeos?”

“Two Romeos,” Harry bothered his lower lip with his teeth. He could feel the cogs turn in his head, “Maybe...maybe not _two_ _Romeos_.”

“What do you suggest, Mr. Styles? I can’t make you and Mr. Tomlinson the leads.”

“You want something original right?” Harry asked. He knew he was probably crossing a ton of lines here, but he wanted to at least try, “I’ve heard about your play, The Diary. A lot of people thought you took that from The Notebook.”

“Mr. Styles!”

“Hear me out!” Harry surprised himself with his assertiveness, “What if...what if you remastered Romeo and Juliet. What if you rewrote the script and gave it a modern spin. Instead of Romeo and Juliet, have it be...Romeo and Julien. Make it a bit modern like the Leonado DiCaprio movie, but make it...make Romeo and Julien be...guys.”

“A _gay_ Romeo and Juliet,” Mr. Winston stroked his beard, “Progressive.”

“That way, we can both be the lead.”

“A _gay_ Romeo and Juliet,” Mr. Winston repeated again, “Do you know what this would mean? It’d put my name on the map is what it’d mean! People will be talking about this everywhere. It may even make the news, Mr. Styles! The _news!_ Everyone everywhere will know the name Ben Winston!” He began to laugh, a little too menically for Harry’s taste. Harry backed away from him slowly.

“So, you’ll think about it?” Harry asked.

“Think about it? I’m writing the script in my head now as we speak! This will be absolutely brilliant! _I_ will be absolutely brilliant!”

“And...and Louis and I will play the leads? You’ll still make him Romeo?”

“And you Julien. This is perfect, Mr. Styles. Absolutely perfect!”

“Okay then,” Harry sighed, relieved. He headed out of the auditorium to find Louis leaning against the windows.

“So?” Louis raised a brow, “Did you tell him you couldn’t do it?”

“I may have provided an alternative,” Harry zipped up his jacket slightly.

“What the fuck have you done?” Louis asked as Harry pushed the doors open, stepping out into the crisp fall air.

“I made a suggestion.”

“No,” Louis shook his head, “You don’t get to make suggestions.”

“You are going to be Romeo, Louis. No one is taking that from you.”

“Well thank God for that,” Louis flicked his fringe, still in step with Harry as they walked across the parking lot together, “But what is the alternative? You taking drama during your free period next year after I’ve graduated and I’ll never have to deal with you ever in my life?”

“Not exactly…” Harry paused at his motorcycle. He kicked at a pebble of loose cement.

“Tell me!” Louis smacked Harry on the arm.

“Ow! Fine!” Harry rolled his eyes, “Mr. Winston is writing the script.”

“What?”

“He’s going to make it into a modern adaptation.”

“The fuck?”

“And well...it’s not exactly Romeo and Juliet anymore,” Harry winced.

“What the hell is it then, Styles?” Louis asked.

Harry took a deep breath, “Romeo and Julien.”

“Romeo and Julien,” Louis deadpanned, “What the fuck are you off about?”

“I may have suggested that we both have the lead?”

“You _what?_ ”

“Well, he was so adamant about giving me the lead and it wouldn’t be fair on you so I just...I asked if we could both have the lead. And I suggested a modern adaptation where Romeo and Julien are both...well...guys.”

Harry wanted to cover his eyes with his hands, wanted to peer through his fingers at Louis’ reaction. He was quite sure Louis had steam coming from his ears.

“You did what now?” Louis asked, brushing his hair back from his forehead as he began to pace angrily, “Styles, how fucking stupid could you be?”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, “It was the only option where you could still be Romeo!”

“I hate you so fucking much!” Louis balled his hands into fists, “So fucking much! I was supposed to be Romeo! You...you were supposed to be a stagehand and stay out of my way! Do you realize what you’ve done? Now, not only do I have to work with you...but you have to be my...my...leading lady!”

“Leading man, but yeah,” Harry nodded, “That’s the jist of things. Look, it was that or me getting Romeo and you getting Mercutio or something. Mr. Winston was dead-set on me being Romeo, Louis. This was the only way I wouldn’t be taking that from you.”

“Do you know what this means,” Louis stopped pacing. He put his hands firmly on Harry’s shoulders, “Do you know what this could mean for me?”

“What are you off about?” Harry asked.

“You really don’t know, do you?”

“What don’t I know? How about you try filling me in?”

“Everything’s so fucking _easy_ for you, isn’t it?” Louis was shouting now, “Tell me, Styles. What is it like to have everyone be so fucking _accepting_ and _supportive_ of you? What is it like to be so comfortable in who you are?” Louis was shaking now. He shoved Harry so hard that Harry almost fell backwards.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Harry knew Louis was out. He wouldn’t have proposed this idea if Louis wasn’t. He knew Louis had come out a few years ago. He’d never have made that suggestion to Mr. Winston if he didn’t think Louis was comfortable with it.

“Louis…” Harry shook his head, “...I-I don’t understand…”

“Of course you don’t. You with your _perfect_ little life and your _perfect_ little friends. Bet Niall was so supportive of you when you came out.”

“I am sure Zayn…”

“This has nothing to do with Zayn, Harry! The guys! Calvin, Oli, Brandon...the rest of them! They know I’m gay but they’re okay with that as long as I keep quiet about it. They say things...such hateful fucking things about other people with me right there next to them. They have no problem calling a kid a ‘faggot’ with me standing right there next to them. Like it doesn’t fucking hurt me too. Do you know what they’ll be like if...if they find out about this? _When_ they find out about it?”

“Louis, they aren’t...that’s not how real friends should act.”

“I _know_ that,” Louis spat out the words as if they were a bad taste, “but they are all I really have. Other than Zayn. And... _fuck!_ You really fucked everything up. I hope you’re fucking pleased with yourself.”

“I’m not,” Harry shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around what all Louis was telling him, “I’m not pleased if you’re upset.”

“You just don’t fucking get it!” Louis looked on the verge of tears now and Harry was on the verge of panic. He’d never seen Louis like this before and it was terrifying him. He just wanted to help him. He wanted to calm him down. He wanted to show him that he cared. Because he cared. Oh did he care! But he had no idea what to do with Louis going off like this.

“You…” Louis shook his head, speaking as if even so much as talking to Harry disgusted him, “...you think because your life is one way that that’s how it is for everyone else. You think because when you came out, your parents hugged and kissed you? You wanna know what happened in my house when I came out? Do you?”

Harry flinched. He didn’t want to know, but he knew he had to.

“My mother’s boyfriend at the time fucking went off! He hit me, Harry! And she sobbed and cried and the next day he packed up and left. The second man to walk out on us. The second man to turn his back on us. Do you know what that did to her? She was alone again. And it was because of me! If I had just…”

“Stop it!” Harry shouted, surprised by his own volume, “Just fucking stop it, Louis! That wasn’t on you, okay? He was an asshole. He should never have hit you and he should never have left. That wasn’t...that was on _him,_ not you.”

“Not according to my mom,” Louis scoffed, pushing his hair back from his forehead, “Do you know what she told me? It was the next morning. He was gone. I had a fucking gash on my cheek from where his ring had snagged on me when he hit me. And she looked me dead in the eye and said ‘this is your fault, Louis.’ My mom. She said that,” Louis’ voice broke slightly and Harry wanted so, so, so badly to go to him and hug him. But he wasn’t entirely sure Louis wouldn’t punch him if he tried.

“Louis...I am so, so sorry.”

Louis shrugged, kicking at the cement, “ ‘s fine now. That was sophomore year. I was fifteen at the time. ‘m over it now. She is too. Apologized and everything. Said she lashed out at me because I was there and no one else was. ‘s fine now. But _you?_ ” Louis laughed but it was dry and cold, “You act like everyone is just like you. Like we all have this perfect life that you have.”

“Louis…” Harry shook his head. Because no. He didn’t think those things. He really didn’t. He just didn’t know what Louis was going through. How could he when they barely spoke?

“Look,” Louis took a deep breath, still not meeting Harry’s eyes, “You just...you need to understand how different we are, H. Your life and mine...they are complete opposites. _We_ are complete opposites. I’ll be your Romeo because it’s a role and I never turn down a role. It’ll challenge me. That’s how I choose to see this. It’ll be a challenge. And it is a unique spin on a story that’s been worn out over and over again. So I’ll be your Romeo. But just...stay away from me. Outside of practice, just keep away from me. You don’t know me, Harry Styles. And you never will.”

“Louis…” Harry tried but Louis just shrugged. He had a twisted smile on his face as he walked backwards away from Harry, saying -

“You wouldn’t want to anyway.”

“I want to,” Harry said, "I _do._ "

Louis was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter won't be quite so angsty!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all's responses have been incredible!! Thank you so, so, so, so much!! I want to wrap all of you up in a big hug and fix you fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and cuddle every single one of you!! You are absolutely all just the sweetest so thank you thank you thank you!!

Sure enough, when the casting list was posted on the wall of the cafeteria, it listed Louis Tomlinson as Romeo and Harry Styles as Julien. The other characters all seemed to the same. Harry couldn’t help but note that Eleanor had been demoted to a side character who he couldn’t even recall. Louis’ name was first, Harry’s was directly beneath it. He couldn’t help but think that their names looked really good together. He wondered if they’d be featured together on the program. Suddenly he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Turning, he saw Niall standing there reading over the list.

“So, first rehearsal is today after school, right?” Niall asked.

“Yup,” Harry nodded, reaching up to touch at his name and maybe brush his fingers over Louis’ too. No one had to know that though. “Still can’t believe Mr. Winston agreed to let there be two male leads. I was pretty persuasive though. Called out his reputation for plagiarism.”

“Ha!” Niall clapped Harry on the back, “Nice, H. Real smooth.”

“What are you even talking about?” Harry shook his head, heaving his backpack onto his shoulder and turning away from the casting list.

“You just wanted to be the Juliet to Louis’ Romeo, H.”

“No!” Harry shook his head, but even as he tried to protest, he knew Niall was probably right. “It’s just...it’s his senior year. He deserved the lead in the play, Niall. He was brilliant at auditions. He deserved this. But Mr. Winston was pretty set on me after he saw my go at it. I just...I didn’t think it’d be right to sweep in and steal the part Louis had earned.”

“Right,” Niall drew out the word, “You keep telling yourself that, H.”

Harry huffed, “Really, Ni. And in doing this, I made things worse between me and Louis which I didn’t even think was possible! So before you start to get all excited, just don’t. I royally fucked up this time, Ni. I figured because he was out that he’d be comfortable with this. But he wasn’t. And I know I was insensitive. I just...I sometimes I don’t think about things too clearly. And he was kind of offended and upset. He told me that outside of rehearsals, to just stay away from him.”

Niall sighed and patted Harry’s shoulder, “It’ll be okay, H. He just...he needs to cool off a bit. But the good news is that you’ll be spending every day after school with him for the next two months. Try and tell me that by the end of this, sparks won’t be flying.”

Harry couldn’t help the small smile that was tugging at his lips. He adored Niall. Niall was always so supportive and knew exactly what to say. But Harry knew it was useless. He shouldn’t get his hopes up. Maybe Louis had been right the other night. They were just too different - complete opposites. It could never work between them even if there was anything between them. Which there wasn’t. Because Harry was quite certain Louis Tomlinson hated him.

And that had only made Harry feel even worse. He hadn’t meant to be insensitive to what all Louis was going through. He just didn’t know. And how could he have known? It wasn’t like Louis even confided in him ever. Or even so much as addressed him. Up until recently, Harry had quite thought that he was invisible to Louis Tomlinson. He didn’t know which was worse, though - being hated, or being invisible. At least being hated meant Louis was aware he existed. But being hated by Louis was almost enough to break Harry’s heart. Because even at the age of seven, Harry was quite certain he’d been in love with Louis Tomlinson at least just a bit. Now here he was, sixteen going on seventeen and all he felt had only gotten stronger in time. But Louis hated him. And Harry supposed he’d just have to figure out how to fix things.

When he got to the drama classroom - one large cinder block-walled classroom towards the back of the school building which also served as the choir room - he noticed that Mr. Winston had put the chairs in one large round circle. He was currently setting scripts down - one on each chair. Harry took a seat sitting completely on the other side of the circle from Eleanor and some of her friends. Louis wasn’t there yet - not that Harry was exactly looking. He busied himself by flipping through his script.

He was genuinely surprised by it. Mr. Winston had done a pretty fantastic job with it. From what Harry gathered, the play would be set in modern times. Romeo was a jock - a football player with asshole friends and very traditional parents. Julien had more open and accepting parents, but they had higher hopes for him than some boy from the other side of the railroad tracks. Their families looked down on each other for their own reasons. But Romeo and Julien met during a party that Romeo was crashing. They spent the whole evening talking and falling in love. But then on Monday when school started up, Romeo’s friends made fun of Julien and Romeo joined in. And Harry couldn’t help but think how closely art seemed to imitate life.

“Hi there!” Someone sat down next to Harry and turned to see a taller, broader boy sitting beside him, “I just want to say you were fantastic during your audition! It was really awesome! I’m Liam, by the way.”

“Harry,” Harry stuck out his hand to shake with Liam, “Thank you so much for saying that.”

“Of course,” Liam shrugged, “You were really great. Took Tommo down a peg or two if I do say so myself.”

Harry grimaced, “That wasn’t exactly my goal, Liam. I didn’t want to intrude or anything. I just was told to audition because I needed the credit. Principal McGivens made the suggestion. I never wanted to like...intrude on Louis’ domain. He’s kind of a god of the drama department, isn’t he?”

“At least _he_ thinks so,” Liam chuckled lightly, “Nah, I like Lou okay. His friend Zayn is pretty awesome too from what I gather. I just think you’ll be good here. I’ve done drama with Louis since middle school. He’s good but he sometimes gets an ego on him. You’ll challenge him. It’ll be good for him to have someone around that actually makes him have to work a little.”

“I don’t know about that,” Harry flushed, tugging a curl behind his ear, “We don’t exactly get along.”

“Well bro,” Liam slapped lightly at Harry’s thigh, “you’re gonna have to if you’re each other’s leads. Put whatever is going on between you behind you. You gotta make it work. At least during performances. You gotta make it work.”

Harry nodded. He knew Liam was right. He felt responsible for Louis being so angry with him. He supposed he did deserve it. Going to Mr. Winston and asking him to make the play have two male leads - romantic male leads - had crossed a line. Even if Louis was out yet, Harry should have made sure he was comfortable with this first. Harry sighed and continued to flip through the script. Maybe he could talk to Louis after practice and try to make things right. Well, maybe not _right._ But better.

The door banged open and Louis bounced inside. Bounced was the correct choice of wording there. He seemed to just light up the whole room. Everyone turned to look at him as he bounded over to take his seat - in the other chair next to Harry. Harry bristled slightly wondering what Louis’ game was here. There were still at least ten other chairs that were empty. He didn’t have to sit next to Harry. This wasn’t exactly keeping away, was it? Harry straightened slightly and tried to ignore the prickly feeling in the arm that was currently a feather’s-touch away from Louis’.

“Hey Tommo!” Liam leaned forward to bump knuckles with Louis. Harry felt rather strange being in the middle of them and had to suck in his stomach as they reached across him. There was an empty seat next to Liam. Why Louis hadn’t just sat there was beyond Harry.

“Payno!” Louis grinned cheerfully - a total different demeanor from the last time Harry had seen him, “My Mercutio!”

“Haha!” Liam cackled, “Mr. Winston better not get any ideas from the 90s movie for my character. I don’t do well with glitter.”

“You met Harry yet?” Louis asked and at the sound of his name falling from Louis’ lips, Harry perked up just slightly. Louis said his name like, "Harr-eh," and he didn't know why he liked that as much as he did.

“Yeah, bro. We were just talking. He’s your Julien, eh?”

And once again, Harry felt rather invisible. He wondered if anyone would notice if he just happened to melt into a puddle onto the linoleum tile floor. But a hand clapping him on the shoulder jostled Harry out of all those thoughts. It was Louis’ hand. Louis was touching him. Louis was shaking his shoulder. A little gruffly, but it didn’t feel like he was trying to cause him any bodily harm so...Harry decided to take that as a bonus.

“Yup!” Louis replied, popping the p. “H here is my sun, my moon, all my stars, my light through yonder window...all that good shit.”

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle. Louis seemed to be in good spirits, which was a good thing. And he was funny. Something Harry had known, but loved experiencing first hand. Maybe there wasn’t anything to fix. Maybe Louis had already forgive him, or at least had moved on.

“Mr. Winston actually did well with the script,” Harry said, hoping that that was an okay thing for him to say. He still had no idea where he currently stood with Louis. But he figured he may as well try to talk with him. They were co-stars, right? It was only professional.

“Fuck,” Louis’ eyes widened as he looked right at Harry, “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Harry nodded, not taking his eyes off Louis’ piercing blue ones, “I have to say, I’m impressed.”

“Well, maybe ol’ Benny actually did something right,” Louis pulled the script from Harry’s hands and began flipping through it.

“You have one of your own,” Harry reminded him, “Believe you’re sitting on it, actually.”

“I like your’s better,” Louis shrugged nonchalantly as he continued flipping through Harry’s script. And well...that was...something.

Liam cleared his throat and both Harry and Louis turned to him. He held his hands up in surrender and turned to look at his own script that was on his lap. Harry bit his lower lip. He tried to focus on the words on the pages, but really all he could think about was the boy sitting next to him. Louis always gave him butterflies in his stomach. Today was no different - only worse, actually. And Harry just felt this thing...this little electric shock. He felt like a live wire sitting next to Louis. His skin buzzed and he was sure he had goosebumps. He quietly thanked God he had worn his Packers sweatshirt that day. That was the last thing he needed - Louis to know that he gave him goosebumps.

“Alright everyone!” Mr. Winston clapped his hands together, “Welcome to our first auditions. Some of you are new faces, so I just want to say a nice, warm welcome to all of you. We tend to become quite close during productions. I want you guys to see yourselves as being a little family. Get to know each other inside and outside of school. Find out your likes and dislikes and what makes each other tick. The key to a good cast is a cast who works well together and who genuinely likes one another.”

“What is he off about?” Louis leaned in and whispered into Harry’s ear. Harry felt like an electric shock had been sent through him. He tried not to shiver as Louis’ breath tickled at his ear, “ _Like each other,_ ” Louis snorted, “Gonna be difficult considering I hate you. Hate you so much.” He said it with no malice whatsoever and Harry could practically feel his smile against his ear.

“Hate you so much too,” Harry replied, not even fighting the smile on his face.

Louis poked him in the ribs, making him jump slightly, “Good to know, Styles.”

“Mr. Tomlinson!” Mr. Winston snapped, “As much as I _love_ to see you and Mr. Styles getting to know one another, save it for after practice, please.”

“Why am I getting yelled at?” Louis asked, indignant, “Hazza was talking too!”

And wait what?

Hazza?

That was certainly...new. Harry had been called Hazza by his sister and by Niall sometimes. But never from Louis. He wasn’t even sure Louis had known they did call him that. Harry preened a little at the thought of having a nickname when suddenly the realization of what Louis had just said hit into him.

“Hey!” Harry frowned.

Louis just grinned, “If I’m gonna get in trouble he should get in trouble too.”

“Oh my God,” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, “Stop talking. Stop talking now.”

“ ‘s only fair I think. If you’re gonna call me out, Mr. Winston, you should call him out as well. Especially since _he’s_ the one that’s distracting _me._ ”

“Christ,” Harry muttered, shaking his head. He covered his face with his hands, feeling the hot blush on his cheeks. Louis was messing with him, he knew that. He didn’t understand why and he really, _really_ didn’t understand why he actually liked it as much as he did.

“Mr. Tomlinson,” Mr. Winston cleared his throat, “Are you quite finished mortifying Mr. Styles? I am trying to mold young minds here.”

Harry let out a groan.

“Well if you insist,” Louis bowed slightly to Mr. Winston, “Please, don’t let me keep you. Mold away!”

“Very well then,” Mr. Winston continued, yammering on about how a cast was a machine with various parts and each part had a job and each part needed to support the others.

“You are such an ass,” Harry hissed at Louis. Really though, he couldn’t be too pissed. He loved having Louis’ attention on him, even if it meant Louis being a little shit to him.

“You love my ass.”

And okay what?

_What?_

Harry put his face back in his hands. He could feel Louis laughing next to him. And that...that had been flirting hadn’t it? Banter? Why was Louis flirting with him? What had happened to keeping their distance and hating each other? Harry’s head was spinning. Louis was a fucking roller coaster and Harry was struggling to stay on.

“I am neutral when it comes to your ass, Tomlinson. I have no opinion whatsoever.”

It sounded like a lie because well. It was.

Harry flicked a curl from his eyes and turned his attention fully on Mr. Winston. Or at least his eyes, anyway. He looked straight ahead at where Mr. Winston was still prattling on about something. His mind was still on Louis, of course. Always, always on Louis. Harry quite wanted to kick himself.

“If you say so, Styles,” Louis folded his arms over his chest and out of his peripherals, Harry could see Louis smirk.

“Mr. Styles!” Mr. Winston scolded.

“Sorry!” Harry muttered, “I’m sorry!”

“Will the two of you _please_ pay attention?” Mr. Winston sounded at his wit’s end.

Harry kicked Louis’ ankle, “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

Louis kicked him back, smiled, but said no more.

“For our first rehearsal, we will do a read-through,” Mr. Winston explained, “You all know by know what parts you are going to play. Take a moment, read over the script and highlight your lines. This shouldn’t take anymore than twenty minutes. You may talk quietly among yourselves while doing this. Get to know one another. Bond! Remember, this is your family for the next two months! After you’ve finished highlighting your scripts, you may go to the vending machines for snacks and drinks. Then meet back here. At four thirty, we are going to begin our first read-through!”

Harry unzipped his backpack and pulled out his yellow highlighter and began to get to work at marking up his script. It felt good, being able to highlight the parts that were his. But the amount of lines he discovered he had was a tad intimidating. He supposed he should have expected this. He was the lead (after Louis) in the play. Of course he’d have a ton of lines. But that meant a lot of memorization and Harry’s stomach began to churn. What if he messed up on stage? Got his lines mixed up?

“Ooh,” Liam said excitedly, “Apparently I help set you guys up on a secret date!”

“Which page?” Louis asked.

“Page fifteen.”

“What’s the date?” Louis asked, “Better not be anything lame like a snazzy dinner or something.”

“What’s wrong with snazzy dinner?” Harry frowned, “I _like_ snazzy dinner.”

“Because snazzy dinner is _bor-ing!_ ” Louis shook his head as if Harry was an idiot. Harry’s frown deepend. Louis continued, “If I was _really_ taking you out on a date, Styles, we’d do something fun!”

“Like what?” Harry asked, chin jutting out slightly in a challenge.

“Like…” Louis thought it over for a moment, “...the fall carnival coming up. I’d pay for your ticket and I’d let you ride all the rides you want and I may even win you a massive stuffed teddy that’s bigger than you.”

“Sounds nice,” Harry had to admit. It did sound nice. More than nice. It sounded absolutely perfect. He’d have new material for his daydream bank for weeks!

“That is,” Louis smirked, “ _if_ I could stand you and actually wanted to take you out.”

“True,” Harry nodded, continuing to highlight. He tried not to think too hard on what Louis had said. It was just Louis being Louis. Yanking his chain around.

“You take him to dinner,” Liam said, having finished reading over the scene, “at an Italian place named Marcellos.”

“Ew,” Louis grimaced, “I have more taste than that! Dinner is boring. You can’t have fun over dinner!”

“Depends on who you’re having dinner with,” Harry pointed out, not taking his eyes off the script in his lap.

“But I’m having dinner with _you,_ ” Louis jabbed his fingers into Harry’s side, causing him to yelp and curl into himself, “and you’re boring. So dinner would be boring. Do you catch my drift?” Louis was still digging his fingers in and Harry was biting his bottom lip to keep from giggling because no. That just wasn’t gonna happen.

“Christ,” Liam muttered, shaking his head, “Harry’s not boring. Besides, you’re taking his _character_ out to dinner, not _him._ ”

“Hmm,” Louis hummed, removing his fingers and turning back to his script. He didn’t say anything else.

Harry finished his highlighting at four-fifteen. He still had another fifteen minutes to go before they began their read-through and he had to admit, he was a bit bored. Suddenly Louis hopped up from his chair and slapped Harry on the back - hard.

“Ow!” Harry frowned.

“Hush you,” Louis rolled his eyes, “I’m going to the vending machines because I’m bored and hungry and you’re coming with me.”

“I am?”

“Yes, Styles. You are.”

Harry sighed as if it was an effort, but got up anyway and followed Louis out towards the cafeteria. It felt weird walking through the hallways alone with him. Then again, everything had felt weird. Harry wasn’t used to this. He was used to being able to pine from a distance. This wasn’t distance. This was close, close, close. And alone. Alone and close. And Harry was trying not to panic here, but it was difficult. They didn’t say anything as they walked to the cafeteria. Eventually, Harry decided to bite the bullet and just ask.

“So,” he said, “What happened to us keeping our distance?”

Louis sighed lightly, still walking and looking straight ahead, “You’re my co-star, Styles. My leading man. It’s like Mr. Winston said, we need to be able to work together. I still think you’re a prick and I kind of can’t stand the sight of you. But I am a professional and acting is my passion. So I am going to put all my disgust with you aside for the next couple of months just until this play is done.”

“Makes sense,” Harry nodded along, processing what Louis had said. There still was no malice in his tone. In fact, it was light and almost playful.

“I am sorry though,” Harry said after a beat, “I shouldn’t have gone behind you like that. I should...I should have checked with you first if you were comfortable with the whole...gay Romeo and Juliet thing. And I’m sorry I didn’t.”

Louis paused. They were at the vending machines now. He looked as though he were about to say something serious, but just asked, “So what are you getting?”

“Um,” Harry peered into the clear glass window, “I don’t really eat that stuff much.”

Louis let out a heavy sigh, “Styles, everyone eats this stuff sometimes. You know what in here looks good to you. So just tell me,” Louis pulled some change out of his pocket, “What do you want?”

“Um,” Harry squinted at his options. There was a pack of chocolate donuts. Gemma would stock up on those once a month and would sometimes let him share with her. Those did sound really, really good right now…

“Look, if you don’t pick in two seconds, I’m picking for you and I’ll pick something gross...like the melted Honey Bun that looks like it’s been in there since Mr. Winston went here.”

Harry laughed. The Honey Bun looked disgusting. “Ew. No please. The chocolate donuts.”

“Excellent choice, Styles,” a genuine grin popped onto Louis’ face as he put the coins in and pressed the buttons. He chose the same chocolate donuts for himself, “Now then, what do you want to drink?”

“Oh uh…”

“If you say you don’t drink soda I will buy you a soda just for the sake of pouring it down your fucking shirt.”

“Orange Crush.”

“Again, excellent choice,” Louis raised an impressed eyebrow, “Maybe you aren’t so lame as I thought...at least when it comes to your tastes in junk food.”

Harry preened at the almost-compliment. Okay, whatever. He was going to take it as an actual compliment. Louis handed him his drink and they headed back to the classroom. As they walked, Louis reached up and twisted Harry’s nipple. It was so unexpected and it fucking hurt. Harry let out a yelp and attempted to cover himself with the hand holding his Orange Crush. Louis just laughed. Harry felt overwhelmed.

\--

The read-through went really well. Harry was impressed with Mr. Winston’s script. Basically, they couldn’t be together due to Romeo’s homophobic parents and friends. But Mercutio, Romeo’s best friend, played matchmaker. He helped them attend secret dates. But then Romeo’s parents found out and they decided to send him away and banish him to a military school for “difficult children.” Romeo and Julien vowed they would find a way to be together. Romeo decided to run away from his family and ended up getting in a car crash. He was in a coma and no one knew if he’d pull through or not. Julien was forbidden from going to visit him, so he just hung out in the waiting room of the hospital refusing to leave until someone gave him some answers. When Romeo woke up a few days later, all he asked for was Julien. His parents agreed to let them see each other and when they did, they kissed and started to cry and Romeo’s parents saw the love their son and Julien had for one another and decided to let them be together.

It was a very loose adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, but Mr. Winston had explained that teenage suicide set in a modern society was probably not the best thing to portray. He said there was enough kids out there taking their lives and his play would not be inspiration. Which, okay. He did have a point. So instead of Romeo and Julien committing suicide to be together, the play ended with them being each other’s prom date. And Harry figured he could live with that.

The dialogue was good. It was also modern. Not like the Leonardo DiCaprio movie. But it still had the classic, romantic undertones. The dialogue between Romeo and Julien was so very romantic and when Louis read his lines with what sounded like absolute sincerity, Harry had to struggle to remind himself that Louis was acting. That this wasn’t real. None of this really was real. The only reason Louis was noticing him and singling him out was in order to follow Mr. Winston’s instructions. If it were up to Louis, he would still be avoiding Harry like the plague. Harry kept trying to remind himself of that, no matter how much it hurt him to do so.

“Excellent, excellent, excellent!” Mr. Winston clapped, “Absolutely brilliant! You all are free to go. Except for my people on props. I need you to stay behind. Anyone who’s working on sets, props, costumes, etc. needs to stay behind so I can go over with you what I am looking for. Everyone else, I shall see you tomorrow at four!”

Harry gathered up his things and carefully tucked his script into his backpack between two heavy textbooks to keep it from getting bent or crushed.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Liam waved, “Tommo, you and Zaynie still coming by tomorrow for video games?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Payno,” Louis laughed, “I’ll be there, third-wheeling it up.”

Liam made a face but said no more before heading out the door.

Harry turned to Louis but before he could ask, Louis said, “You know how Mercuitio helps us get together in the play?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded.

“Well, in real life I’m supposed to be helping him and Zayn get together. They sort of have had crushes on each other since being lab partners in bio last year. But they’re both big dumb idiots who can’t manage on their own and if it weren’t for me, Harold, they’d be lost in the world.”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at Louis’ dramatics.

“What about your other friends though?”

Louis shrugged, “What about them? I told them about the play and they were sort of assholes about it and I figure you don’t really need a whole crew of friends anyway, right? Not if they’re assholes. So I finally kicked them to the curb. Just me and Zaynie now. Liam too, I suppose. And I like it that way.”

“Louis!” Harry gasped, “I’m so proud of you!”

“Proud?” Louis raised a brow.

“Yeah. For getting those negative people out of your life.”

Louis shrugged, “Don’t go getting an ego for this, Styles. But what you said may have helped kick me in that direction.”

“Really?” Harry’s pulse sped up slightly.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. They were out in the parking lot now, and Louis was still walking with Harry to his motorcycle, “I’m not confident like you, Styles. And what I had to deal with when I came out played a big part in that. But...I am beyond that now. I need to work on being more confident in who I am and having people who are bullies or who are homophobic as my friends...it was counterproductive.”

Harry allowed himself a small smirk as he said, “If you weren’t gonna punch me for it, I’d hug you right now.”

Louis laughed, “You’re a fast learner, Young Harold.”

“You know my name,” Harry rolled his eyes, putting his backpack into the metal box.

“I do,” Louis merely shrugged, “Your point?”

Harry rolled his eyes again, _really_ , really not wanting to smile but doing so anyway, “Whatever, Lewis.”

“You gonna give me a ride on ‘im yet?” Louis asked, running his hand over the leather seat of the bike.

“The other day I’d have said ‘in your dreams.’”

“What do you say today?” Louis asked, looking up at Harry through his fringe.

“I say, ‘haven’t decided just yet.’”

“You know,” Louis pulled his hand off so that Harry could hop on, “I think I’ll take that.”

“No arguments? No indignant squawking?”

“I do _not_ argue and I do _not_ squawk indignantly!” Louis, well...squawked indignantly.

“Sure babe,” Harry laughed, not even thinking of what he’d just said.

“Yeah, babe,” Louis replied without pause, “ ‘sides, I’m pretty sure I can convince you.”

“We’ll see about that,” Harry closed the face-guard of his helmet and revved up the bike, Before taking off out the parking lot, he waved at Louis. Louis saluted and Harry thought maybe - just _maybe_ \- he’d seen a smile on Louis’ face.

Maybe it’d just been a trick of the sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Next chapter will be up tomorrow :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to update today!! I was being sort of lazy and putting off working on this this afternoon and I know it's already past 11pm and I said it'd be up this evening/tonight and I'm sorry!! But here is the new chapter! I hope you like it!!

“He pinched my nipple.”

“Wait, _what?_ ” Niall almost choked on his Sprite.

“After he bought me my snacks. Which, I mean, what even _is_ that? And then we walked back together. And he told me how he’d take me out on a date and I am pretty sure he was flirting with me. He said I think he has a nice ass…”

“Well, you do think that.”

“Hush you,” Harry tossed a celery stick at Niall’s head, “And we walked out together and he followed me out to the bike again and asked me if I’d take him for a ride on it and that may or may not be an allusion to sex, I honestly do not know. But I told him I’d think about it. And he said he could convince me. And that all sounds like flirting, does it not?”

“Bro, take a breath,” Niall chuckled and Harry could feel the flush on his cheeks. He’d been gushing to Niall about everything that had taken place at practice since that morning when they’d first seen each other. It was now lunch, and Harry was pretty sure most of the conversation had been filled with telling and retelling Niall all about Louis. He knew he sounded embarrassing. It was embarrassing. But this was the most interaction they’d ever shared and it wasn’t completely filled with Louis wanting to strangle him. Harry took that as a win.

“Sorry, sorry,” Harry muttered, nibbling on his PB&J, “It’s just...I don’t know what any of this means, Niall! He’s confusing as fuck. I’ve never met anyone like Louis Tomlinson before.”

“That’s because there is no one like Louis Tomlinson ever. He’s a unique one.”

“Sure is,” Harry sighed, pulling the crust from his bread, “It’s just...he makes me dizzy and excited and anxious and nervous and happy and scared and so much all at once. I have no idea what to do with all of that, Niall.”

As if on cue, a packet of chocolate covered donuts were slapped down right in front of Harry, almost smooshing his sandwich.

“What the…”

“A bribe,” a chipper voice explained. Harry turned to see Louis standing there, hip cocked to one side and his hands folded over his chest. He nodded to the donuts.

“A bribe for what…” Harry’s eyes narrowed, “Louis, I swear to God if you did anything to them…”

“I’m offended!” Louis gasped, touching his hand to his chest, “How very dare you, Harold! They aren’t poisoned or whatever it is you’re thinking. They’re merely a bribe.”

“A bribe for what?” Harry was very suspicious. Niall was staring at him brows raised.

“Hiya, Niall!” Louis waved to Niall.

“Uh...hi?” Niall waved, mouthing to Harry, “ _He knows my name?_ ”

“Course I know your name!” Louis replied chipperly, “You’re Harr-eh’s best friend!”

Harry’s eyes narrowed further, “Louis, what are you off about? What do you want?”

“I have a favor to ask of you, young Harold.”

“Oh goodie,” Harry deadpanned, “What do you need?”

“So, you remember how I’m going over to Payno’s with Zaynie this afternoon after play practice, right?”

“Right,” Harry nodded slowly, “And what does that have to do with me?”

“Well, I am not really a fan of third-wheeling. And I’ve sort of kicked Calvin, Oli, Brandon and the rest of the crew to the curb. And other than Zaynie and Payno, you’re all I got, H. So I’m asking you…” Louis took a deep breath, “...will you come over to Payno’s with me after play practice? Only, only, _only_ because I don’t want to be lonely and bored while they’re being all flirty and obnoxious, kay?”

Harry blinked. Okay wait _what?_ Louis Tomlinson had just asked him to come hang out so that he wouldn’t be a third wheel? Harry almost choked on his own saliva.

“You...want me to hang out with you?” Harry asked. If anything, he was only more suspicious now than he was before.

“No, Styles. I don’t want you to hang out with me. But my options are limited.”

“And what makes you think I’d agree to this, Tomlinson?” Harry asked. But if he was being honest, the thought of hanging out with Louis and Zayn and Liam was exciting to him. Zayn was always nice to him. They didn’t talk much, but Zayn would always wave and smile at Harry. And Liam seemed nice yesterday. And besides, it’d mean hanging out with Louis! And Harry couldn’t even pretend that that prospect wasn’t exciting to him.

“Because you will,” Louis smirked, sliding into the empty seat beside Harry, “Since you won’t let me on the back of the Harley - at least not yet - I was thinking I could drive all us over after play practice? We’d meet up with Zayn after and the four of us can take my car to Payno’s.”

“You should go,” Niall encouraged, popping a barbecue chip into his mouth.

“Oh you can come too, of course!” Louis said, “The more the merrier, right?”

“I don’t want to like, intrude.”

“Not an intrusion at all,” Louis assured, “And that way, you can entertain me because this one is as boring as watching paint dry,” Louis jabbed a finger into Harry’s side.

“Hey!” Harry jerked away, “And yet you’re inviting me.”

“Only because watching paint dry is better than doing nothing,” Louis grinned, “So what do you two say? It’s a videogame day. We’ll play FIFA or something and eat junk food. Come on! Please say yes! Please! Please! Please! Please!” Louis had wrapped his arms around Harry’s middle and was currently jabbing his fingers into his sides and stomach.

“Alright! Alright!” Harry was doubled over giggling now, “Fine! We’ll go!”

“Yay!” Louis clapped his hands together, “Told you I could be convincing, Styles,” Louis winked at him before bouncing off to his regular lunch table.

“Okay...what...the fuck,” Niall fixed Harry with a look.

“What?” Harry asked, nibbling on his neglected sandwich.

“Oh my _God_ ,” Niall snickered, “He’s just as crazy about you as you are about him!”

“Oh he is not, Niall!” Harry shook his head, “He’s just...like that. I don’t know. That’s just how Louis is. He’ll be like that and then five minutes later he’ll want to rip my head off. You’ll see this afternoon. Besides, he’s made it clear we’re both too different for anything to happen between us.”

“Uh-huh,” Niall’s tone was doubtful, “Sure, H. But my worst enemies don’t flirt with me and tickle me.”

“You don’t have any worst enemies,” Harry reminded him, “Everyone loves you. Apparently even Louis. Which is...impressive.”

“Dude, it’s not _me_ he loves,” Niall laughed, “For real. He only knew my name because I’m your best friend. And I have a feeling I’m only invited because of you, H.”

“You heard him though,” Harry insisted, “All he has is Liam and Zayn and well...he doesn’t want to be a third wheel. He’s trying to get them together. I can imagine he doesn’t want to just sit there and watch them flirt.”

“So he clearly invited you too so that he will have someone to flirt with also.”

“Niall, you’ll see today how things are between me and Louis. I bet you anything we won’t even be at Liam’s five minutes before he’s already yelling at me and saying he can’t stand me and wanting us to leave.”

“Whatever you say.”

The rest of the day crawled by slowly. Harry found himself watching the clock a lot more than usual. He wanted the final bell to ring so he could hurry up and get to play practice. And see Louis. And he was really, really looking forward to going over to Liam’s after school. And he was nervous. He could feel the butterflies stirring in his stomach. Louis made him nervous. Louis always made him nervous. And now he’d have to hang out with Louis outside of school with his friends. Harry was overwhelmed with what all he was feeling.

Finally, the final bell rang. Harry sent his mom a quick text, telling her that he was going over to hang out with Niall and some new friends after school. She replied almost right away, telling him to have fun and be safe. She also added a ton of heart and kissy emojis. Harry rolled his eyes as he put his phone into his jeans pocket. Sometimes he regretted every showing her what emojis were.

“Heard you’re coming over later,” Liam came up behind Harry just as he was headed to the drama room, and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, “Looking forward to it.”

“Lou is too,” Liam winked and Harry rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just see if we can hang out together without trying to murder each other. I do apologize in advance if your living room becomes a murder scene this afternoon.”

Liam laughed, “I highly doubt that, H. Between you and me, Louis was sort of buzzing about you coming over.”

Harry shook his head, “I don’t understand him. I really don’t. He tells me to stay away and keep my distance and then he...he’s a fucking roller coaster, Li. I don’t understand him.”

“Sometimes the best puzzles are those we can’t solve.”

“Very enlightening,” Harry chuckled and Liam slugged him in the shoulder. They laughed the rest of the way to the drama room and all discussion about Louis was forgotten.

\--

Practice went well. They started in on acting out the whole play first then would break down scene by scene next time. Mr. Winston gave pretty good instructions, even if he was a little self-absorbed and self-praising throughout the whole thing. Whenever he’d go off on a tangent, Louis would elbow Harry in the side and shoot him a look and Harry would have to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The butterflies in his stomach never went away. In fact, Harry was quite positive they only got worse. Practice was ticking away, and soon Harry would be taking off in Louis’ car to go hang out with Louis and his friends. Nervous was an understatement.

Finally, Mr. Winston announced they were dismissed. Harry gathered up his things and Louis tugged his own backpack over his shoulder as he said -

“Alright boys, ready to meet up with Zayn and Niall?”

“Niall said he’d be waiting out by the main exit,” Harry explained.

“That’s where Zayn told me he’d be too,” Liam provided, “Lou, thank you for helping me with this.”

“Of course,” Louis shrugged as they headed out, “I can’t leave it you two to figure out on your own. Knowing you two, you’d both muck it all up. You’d be utterly lost without me, Payno! The both of you. And you too!” Louis hip-checked Harry.

“And how would I be lost without you?” Harry asked, hip-checking him back.

“You just would, Harold. Your life would be sad and miserable without me in it and you know it.”

“Thought you wanted nothing to do with my life,” Harry reminded him.

“Well I don’t. But circumstances seemed to have different plans. Go on ahead, Lime. I’m gonna hop up to my locker real quick and grab my History book. Forgot I have a quiz tomorrow. Styles, come with me.”

Harry sighed, but followed Louis upstairs nonetheless. The hallway was vacant with all the students having already taken off for the day. The only signs of human life were a few random papers and pens scattered in the hall. Louis strolled over to his locker, knelt down, and began to input his locker combination.

“Louis,” Harry leaned against the locker next to his, “Can I ask you something.”

“No.”

“I’m gonna anyway,” Harry took a deep breath, trying to process the words in his head, “Last week, you told me we should keep our distance and that I wouldn’t want to know you anyway. You know that’s not true, right? You’re kind of a pain in the ass, but like...I don’t mind you. And I’ve wanted to like...be your friend for awhile now. For quite awhile actually. I just...I never let myself try before. But I’m gonna try now. I don’t care what you have to say about it, Louis. I want to be your friend and one day I’m going to convince you to let me be.”

“Whatever you say, Styles,” Louis grabbed his book and slammed his locker shut.

“I mean it,” Harry insisted, “I want to be friends with you.”

“No you don’t,” Louis zipped up his backpack and swung it back over his shoulder.

“I do. I _really_ do.”

“You don’t know me though, Harry,” Louis shook his head and Harry felt something flutter inside him at Louis actually calling him by his name, “You think you do, but you don’t. I’m not a good person. I get in trouble in school. I barely scrape by in my classes. My teachers all can barely stand me. I don’t have very many friends since the guys I used to hang around were just a bunch of asshole jerks. I don’t really have a plan in life. I’m going nowhere fast, H. And you don’t want someone like me dragging you down.”

“That’s not true, Lou,” Harry jogged a little to catch up to Louis who was marching ahead, “I do know you. I’ve known you for years. I know you’re a good person and you’re very smart. Gemma tells me you have the best thoughts in group discussions in Literature class. And you’re nice, Louis. You’re very nice. And yeah, you can be a bit of an asshole at times, but who isn’t? The thing is, I decided way back ten years ago that I wanted to be your friend. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me all this time. But I tend to get what I want, Louis. And I’m going to get your friendship. One way or another. And I am going to show you that you matter and that all those horrible things you think about yourself aren’t true. Because they aren’t.”

Louis had stopped walking now. He smiled a sad smile, “Harry, that’s great sentiment. And thank you. But...you still don’t know me. I chase away everyone. I’m gonna chase you away too. I’m no good for you. Never have been and never will be. You want to be my friend? I’m not an easy person, H. You’ll give up. You’ll get worn out and sick of me like everyone else.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.”

“I won’t.”

“Harry…”

“Louis. I’m your friend. There. I said it. Easy and simple just like that. I’m your friend. And you aren’t going to chase me away from you no matter how hard you try.” Harry took a deep breath. It felt good to say. Harry knew Louis needed people in his corner. And Harry wasn’t going to give up on him, not ever.

“We’ll see,” was all Louis replied.

\--

“Can I ride up front with you?” Harry asked. Now that he had promised Louis he was going to be his friend no matter what, it was like he’d gotten a little boost in confidence.

“Absolutely not, Harold,” Louis scoffed, “Zayn always gets shotgun. Isn’t that right, Zaynie?”

Zayn peered longingly to Liam who was getting in the backseat, “Sure, Lou. But maybe...maybe Harry can ride shotgun today.”

Louis sighed as if he were exasperated, “Fine, whatever. But you aren’t touching the radio.”

Harry slid into the passenger seat, holding his hands up. Louis just shook his head and slid into the driver’s seat. Niall was cramped in the back with Zayn and Liam, and Harry felt a little bit bad until Zayn asked Niall what video games he was into and the three of them burst into their own little conversation about that.

“Your bike gonna be okay here for awhile?” Louis asked, turning the key in the ignition.

“Yeah, so long as it isn’t here over night.”

“I’ll get you back over here after we’re done at Li’s.”

“Good. Pretty sure my dad would murder me if I left ‘im out all night.”

“Well I wouldn’t be getting you out of that one,” Louis smirked, “Not this time.”

“You’re always gonna use that, aren’t you?” Harry shook his head.

“Of course, Styles,” Louis smirked.

“Shoulda just taken the spanking then,” Harry rolled his eyes and Louis threw his head back and laughed. Harry quite figured Louis’ laugh was the best sound in the entire world.

“What shall we listen to?” Louis called to the whole car.

“What do you have?” Harry asked.

“Everything I have is in that,” Louis pointed to the black CD case laying by Harry’s feet, “You can look through that. But don’t pick something dumb.”

“If I pick something dumb,” Harry pointed out, “it’d be your own CD, Lewis.”

“Don’t get smart,” Louis wagged a finger at Harry. Harry sighed and flipped through the plastic sheets.

“Does anyone have a preference?” He asked the rest of the car.

“Beyonce!” Zayn suggested.

“Ooh yes please!” Niall nodded excitedly.

“Liam?” Harry asked.

Liam shrugged, “I don’t care. ‘sides, Louis’ favorite song ever is on that CD.”

“ _Shut up, Payno!_ ” Louis growled.

“Ooh,” Zayn  snickered, “It is! Yeah, Lou likes to listen to Partition while he gets ready in the morning. Has a whole dance routine and every - “

“Oh my _God!_ ” Louis snapped, “Zayn shut the fuck up! Harold and Niall do not need to know that.”

“I could stand to hear a bit more,” Niall said, shrugging innocently when Louis glared at him in the rear-view mirror.

“A whole dance routine, really?” Harry asked, “You gonna perform for us, Lou?”

“I hate every single one of you,” Louis groaned, popping the CD into the stereo.

Harry reached out and pressed the SKIP button as Louis attempted to slap at his hands. He finally pulled his hand away - red from sharp little Louis slaps - as Beyonce crooned, ' _Let me hear you say ‘hey Ms. Carter…_ ’

“So...when you gonna start your dance, Lou?” Niall giggled.

“I will throw you out of this car, Nialler!” Louis threatened, “And _you_ ,” he pointed at Harry who was rubbing his stinging hand, “Are a little shit.”

“Don’t blame me,” Harry grinned, “it’s _your_ favorite song. I was just being nice by putting it on.”

“I hate everyone in this car!” Louis shouted shrilly as he sped up to jump onto the freeway.

It wasn’t a few seconds later that Louis began to wiggle along to the beat. His shoulders began to roll to the beat and his hips swayed in his seat and Harry could see his butt bouncing slightly to the beat too. The whole mess was really quite seductive, as silly as it was.

“ _Yonce all on his mouth like liquor,_ ” Zayn sang softly along to the song, staring out the window as if in his own little world, but knowing every word.

“ _I don’t need you seeing Yonce on her knees,_ ” Louis was singing and he kept doing that sexy little wiggle-dance thing and Jesus Christ maybe Harry hadn’t thought this through all the way. The car suddenly felt very, very cramped and very, very hot. He tugged lightly at the collar of his shirt. Louis was smirking as he sang, still wiggling along to the beat of the song.

Harry swallowed thickly.

Louis turned to him and actually fucking licked his lips, still doing his wiggle-dance, and fucking winked. And Harry was quite certain he died in that moment and this all was the afterlife.

He must have flushed bright pink - surely he had, his cheeks felt on fire - because Louis tossed his head back and laughed a tinkling laugh before going back to his dancing. Harry turned and focused his attention out his window. Just focus on the buildings going by. The car dealership and the gas station and the grocery store...anywhere but the very sexy boy dancing so seductively next to him. Anywhere but there.

After the song finished up, Louis reached over to the stereo and pressed SKIP to get ahead to Flawless. He had a whole other wiggle-dance to that. Harry was quite certain Beyonce mixed with Louis Tomlinson was the most sinful thing he’d ever experienced in his entire life. He may have to actually go to church with his parents on Sunday after this…

“ _Don’t forget it, don’t forget it. Respect that, bow down bitches…_ ”

And fuck. Louis Tomlinson should be forbidden from ever saying the words ‘bow down bitches’ ever again. Harry gulped. He was so ready to be out of this car now.

“You okay,” Niall clapped Harry on the shoulder, “You’re very quiet.”

“I’m just fine, Niall,” Harry replied, his voice an octave or two higher.

“ _This diamond, flawless. My diamond, flawless. This rock, flawless…_ ” Zayn was still mumbling along to the words in the backseat. Harry noticed that Liam was especially quiet too.

“Alright!” Harry clapped his hands together, “I think that’s enough Beyonce for now, what do you say, Liam?”

“Yes please!” Liam nodded, his voice sounded high and strained just as Harry’s hand.

Harry ejected the CD and slid it back into his plastic sheet.

“Hey!” Louis pouted, “What’s wrong with Beyonce?”

“Nothing is wrong with _Beyonce_ ,” Harry said, flipping through the plastic sheets, “Ah, here’s Nickelback,” Harry silently cheered, “Liam, how does Nickelback sound to you?”

“Very, _very_ good,” Liam nodded appreciatively.

Louis and Zayn both looked utterly confused.

“No one likes Nickelback,” Louis frowned.

“Liam and I do,” Harry answered, popping the CD into the dash. Finally. Something Louis couldn’t dance all sexy too. Harry sighed a sigh of relief.

Somehow, Louis still managed to wiggle-dance to Rockstar.

\--

When they got to Liam’s house, Liam’s mom greeted them and told them to come on inside and that she’d stocked up on snacks for everyone. She kissed Liam on the cheek and told them all to “be good” before disappearing upstairs. After raiding the fridge, they headed into the living room. Liam set up the game console and got everyone’s controllers all set up as well before passing them out. They took a vote on what games to play and decided on FIFA since that seemed to be everyone’s favorite.

Louis plopped down on the couch next to Niall instead of Harry which...okay. Harry tried not to let it bother him too much. It was just Louis being Louis, right? Besides, it wasn’t like Harry had any claim on him. Still, Harry was a little let down when Louis swung his arm around Niall and pulled him into a sideways hug.

“Nialler, I am so glad you came!” Louis said, “I’d have been so bored with those two!” He nodded across at the other half of the L-shaped sectional where Liam and Zayn were secretly (or rather, not so secretly) glancing at each other out of their peripherals.

“Yeah, um...thanks for inviting Harry and me,” Niall said, reaching forward to grab a handful of chips from the bowl on the coffee table.

As they started playing FIFA and chatting, Louis glanced over to Zayn and said, “Hey, Zaynie! You should come to play practice sometime. Mr. Winston sometimes let’s people watch in on us. Liam is a great _Mercutio!_ ”

“We only just started practice,” Liam flushed, “I am sure Zayn doesn’t want to…”

“Yeah,” Zayn nodded, “I’ll have to stop by sometime. If Mr. Winston is cool with me being there, yeah.

“Really,” Louis nodded, “He’s fantastic. Couldn’t ask for a better co-star.”

“Hey,” Harry frowned, slightly offended.

“Oops,” Louis grinned, “It appears I’ve offended my ‘light through yonder window.’ You aren’t too shabby yourself, Styles.”

“Thanks,” Harry rolled his eyes, reaching for the bowl of pretzels, “You’re great though.”

“Of course I am,” Louis grinned again, “I am the best! Everyone else is simply living in my spotlight.”

“Jesus,” Zayn muttered, “Niall, as Louis’ best friend, I fully give you permission to slap him right now.”

Niall laughed, “Harry’s sitting by him too.”

“Yeah well,” Louis flicked the fringe from his eyes, “if Styles tries, he knows I’d break his hand. Isn’t that right, Styles?” Louis smirked, reaching over to grab Harry’s hand in his own and squeezing hard. Harry would almost be floaty from the thought of Louis holding his hand if Louis currently wasn’t crushing it.

“Ow!” Harry extracted his hand from Louis’, “You’re a menace.”

“Thanks,” Louis smiled, smashing buttons on his controller.

The afternoon passed as they switched from video games to a movie after a little while. Not long into Iron Man, Louis stood up from his spot next to Niall and walked over to Zayn. He plopped down in Zayn’s lap, and Zayn naturally wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, holding him on his lap. Harry swallowed thickly. He glanced to see if Liam was mad. He wasn’t. He wasn’t even the slightest put-out. In fact, he reached up and ran a hand through Louis’ hair. Louis didn’t even smack at him. It appeared what Louis had said was true - it was his world, and everyone else was just living in his spot light. Harry couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy he felt in the pit of his stomach at seeing Louis on Zayn’s lap like that though. He felt utterly ignored by Louis.

It was as if Louis was purposefully paying attention to everyone else but him. And Harry didn’t understand. Why had Louis even bothered inviting him in the first place if he was just going to flit around and ignore Harry the whole entire time? Harry tried to focus on the movie, and how dapper Robert Downy Jr. was. But it was impossible. Especially when Louis reached behind him and pinched Zayn’s nipple and Zayn yelped.

Harry frowned and pulled his phone out from his pocket and texted Niall -

_why did he even invite me?_

Niall replied back quickly after shielding his phone with his thigh -

**_he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. he wants your attention so by giving everyone else attention but you, he thinks he’ll get yours._ **

_and you know this how?_

_**just a guess. i’m very intuitive about these things. and also...zayn and i may have talked while we were waiting for you guys.** _

_wait...what?????_

_**yeah...he may have told me a thing or two about louis.** _

_i will be picking your brain later. okay mr. intuitive. what do i do?_

_**he just wants your attention. so give it to him ;)** _

Harry put his phone back in his pocket and Niall did the same. He didn’t know if it was curiosity or what. But Harry got an idea in the back of his mind, and he wanted to see what would happen if he actually did it. So he stood up from his cushion on the couch and walked over to where Liam, Zayn, and Louis were sitting. He closed his eyes for a quick second, working up his courage. He reached his hand out and held it out to Louis. Louis flicked his eyes down to Harry’s hand. But instead of protesting, he just took it and allowed Harry to pull him up from Zayn’s lap.

“C'mere,” was all Harry said, pulling Louis over to their end of the couch. He sat down and pulled Louis on to his own lap. His cheeks were flushing. He wondered if this was crossing a bagillion lines. Would Louis slap him? He wouldn’t actually be surprised or offended if he did. But Louis didn’t hit him. Instead, he grabbed Harry’s arms and wrapped them around his middle so that Harry was holding him just as Zayn had been. Now that Louis was off his lap, Zayn was scootching slightly closer to Liam. They were now sitting so closely that their arms were pressed together. Harry couldn’t help but smile as he saw the blush on Liam’s cheeks. They were so gone for each other, it was adorable.

Suddenly, Louis reached down and pinched Harry’s thigh - hard.

“ _Ow!_ ” Harry cried, “What was that for?”

“You have a bony lap,” Louis replied simply, a smile on his face.

“You can get off you know, if it’s so bony,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Hmm,” Louis just hummed and leaned back against Harry’s chest.

He didn’t say anything else. And Harry may or may not have taken that as a sign to squeeze him just a tad bit tighter. He thought he saw Louis smile just the slightest bit.

After Iron Man, Louis hopped up off Harry’s lap and clapped his hands together, “Alright, losers. I gotta get home to help the girls with their homework. So let’s get a move on!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Liam said to Zayn, his voice so soft Harry felt like he was intruding by overhearing it.

“Yeah, sure,” Zayn nodded, “Tomorrow,” he reached out and tugged lightly at the hem of Liam’s shirt. And Liam flushed pink and Harry couldn’t help but smile. They were absolutely adorable. He wondered what that would be like - to have someone be as taken by you as you were with them.

“Either kiss goodbye or let’s go!” Louis called, jangling his keys in his hands.

“Worst wingman ever,” Harry hissed in Louis’ ear.

“What?” Louis rolled his eyes, “I’ll help ‘em out a bit, but I am not gonna just stand around while they make heart-eyes at each other. ‘sides, I’m an _excellent_ wingman. Zaynie! If you don’t get your ass up I’m gonna come over there and beat it!”

Zayn rolled his eyes and said another soft goodbye to Liam before heading over to the entryway where Louis, Harry, and Niall were waiting. They said their goodbyes and headed out to Louis’ car for him to give them a ride back to the school. Harry moved to get to the backseat when Zayn pressed a hand to the small of his back and said -

“You take shotgun again, kay?”

“Okay,” Harry nodded, slipping into the passenger seat next to Louis. Niall and Zayn chatted in the backseat about some band they both liked. Louis fiddled with the radio a bit before just setting on some random station that was playing a catchy pop song.

“This was fun,” Harry said, because it felt like the right thing to say, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Don’t mention it,” Louis shrugged, “You aren’t quite as boring as watching paint dry. Maybe as boring as watching grass grow though!”

“Hey!” Harry frowned and Louis reached over to poke him in the cheek, right where his dimple was.

“So you got homework tonight?” Louis asked.

“A little, yeah. You’ve got that History quiz, right?”

“Mmhmm. Gotta help the girls with their stuff first. Fizz has some math assignment she doesn’t understand and I’m supposed to help Lottie with her book report for The Great Gatsby.”

Harry felt bad that Louis’ own homework would have to be put on the back burner. He wanted to ask where Louis’ mom was, but he knew that would cross about a thousand lines.

“My mom’s working an extra shift at the hospital tonight,” Louis explained as if having read Harry’s mind, “Which isn’t _exactly_ extra when she does it almost every night,” he sighed almost sadly and Harry’s heart ached that much more, “So I tend to the girls most nights. You know, dinner, homework. That sort of thing.”

Harry nodded, wishing there was something he could. He wanted to help Louis out somehow. But he didn’t want to anger him by asking to help. He remembered Louis’ reaction when he’d asked if Louis wanted to join him and his dad for the fishing contest. Louis didn’t do well with thinking people were giving him charity or sympathy.

But Harry decided he might as well ask anyway.

“Do you need any help?”

Louis’ grip tightened on the steering wheel, “What do you mean?” He asked.

“I’m just saying...I don’t have much homework tonight. I could come over and help Fizzy with her math homework. I’m pretty good in math. And you can help Lottie with her book report. It’d go faster if you had two people instead of just yourself. I’m not...I’m not like trying to intrude or anything. I just want to help you out.”

“Why?” Louis narrowed his eyes.

“Because,” Harry shrugged, “It’s like I said, I want to be your friend, Louis. And I’m going to be your friend. And friends help each other out, right? Let me help you tonight. Please?”

To Harry’s surprise, Louis nodded, “Yeah, sure. That’d be great, Hazza. Thank you.”

Harry smiled.

It was a start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not feeling too well today so I'm sorry if this chapter isn't the best or is a bit "lazy" as opposed to my other chapters. I just really am not feeling well. But it's a cute chapter and makes me smile so I hope you enjoy it too! Again, I do apologize!!

“I have to warn you,” Louis killed the ignition, “They can be a bit much.”

“That’s okay,” Harry tucked a curl behind his ear, “I don’t mind.”

“Dais and Pheb are the twins. They’re seven and the biggest pains in the ass you’ll ever meet. Next to yourself, of course,” Louis winked at Harry, “And Lottie is the oldest after me. She’s thirteen. And Fizzie, she’s ten. And they’re all a bunch of nosey little loud mouths so if you get bombarded with questions, do not feel obligated to answer any of them."

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. Louis seemed to light up as he talked about his sisters. It was so clear he loved them very, very much. Harry couldn’t wait to meet them. It was bizarre to him as well. Louis only lived a few houses down from him - the first house on the block. But Harry had never met Louis’ family. He was certain he had seen them around, of course. But this was the first time he was meeting them. And he couldn’t help but be a little nervous.

“Will they like me?” Harry asked warily as he followed Louis up to the front porch.

“Don’t be stupid, Styles. They love everybody. Just don’t be an asshole to them, and you’ll be their new favorite person. Might even give me a run for my money,” Louis slipped his key through the hole, “Are you ready?” He asked before opening the door.

Harry took a deep breath and nodded. It was now or never, right? Louis opened the front door. He’d barely gotten the door shut behind them when a gaggle of girls dashed down the stairs. Harry was a little taken back. Louis had four sisters, but somehow there seemed to be so, so many more.

“Where have you been!” The tallest demanded, she folded her arms angrily over her chest, “You were supposed to be home by five. It’s almost seven!”

“I told you I was going to hang out at Liam’s after school, Lottie,” Louis rolled his eyes, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the hook, “I know I told you that over breakfast this morning. I even gave you cash and told you to order a pizza for tonight. Please tell me you at least did that.”

“No!” Lottie frowned, “It’s not my job to feed everyone.”

Louis took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and Harry decided that’d be a good time to try to help diffuse the situation.

“Hi,” he smiled widely, “I’m Harry.”

“Hi,” Lottie narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, “Who are you?"

“I’m a friend of your brother’s. I’m gonna hang out with you guys tonight and help him out a bit. You’re the one with the book report right?”

“Yeah,” Lottie sighed, “Stupid English class. I hate English class.”

“I like your curls!” A little voice said and Harry looked down to see one of the twins tugging at the hem of his sweatshirt, “They’re moppy!”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh, “Why thank you! What’s your name?”

“Daisy. This is my sister Phoebe,” Daisy pulled Phoebe closer to her, “We’re best friends.”

“I’m Fizzy,” Fizzy stuck out her hand to shake Harry’s, “You’re cute.”

Harry couldn’t help but blush - he always was a sucker for compliments, no matter who they came from - “Why thank you, Fizzy.”

“Hey!” Louis scowled, bopping her on the head, “You, little Missy, aren’t allowed to be thinking any guy is cute. Much less Harry here.”

“And why is that?” Fizzy pouted.

“Because,” Louis shrugged, “Harold is off the market. Now then, what pizza does everyone want? I’m gonna call in the order since _someone_ ,” he fixed Lottie with a scowl, “couldn’t manage to do that one little thing.”

“Hey!” Lottie attempted to hit him but Louis caught her hand and just winked at her.

“Still too slow, baby sister,” Louis grinned before bouncing off towards the kitchen. Harry and the gaggle of girls followed after him. As they made their way to the kitchen, two little hands grabbed onto Harry’s. He had Pheobe on one side and Daisy on the other.

“We like you,” Daisy said.

“Well I like you too,” Harry told them, “Tell me,” he lowered his voice to an exaggerated whisper, “Are you princesses? You look like princesses to me.”

The twins giggled happily and Louis hopped up onto the kitchen island, swinging his feet against the counter, “Everyone of them are princesses, Harold. What a silly thing to even ask.”

Harry saw Lottie roll her eyes but she was smiling nonetheless at her older brother’s remark. Harry was fascinated by this little family. Already he could feel himself falling in love with each and every one of them. Louis asked Fizzy to hand him the pizza menu and he flipped through it before asking everyone their orders. The twins wanted “ham and pineapple” and Lottie and Fizzy said they’d share a chicken alfredo.

“And what about you, my light through yonder window?” Louis jutted his chin out toward Harry, “What do you want?”

“Oh, you really don’t have to get me anything,” Harry shook his head, “Really, Lou. I’ll just eat at home later…”

“Styles, shut the hell up and tell me what you want.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile, “I’ll just share with you...if that’s alright?”

“Okay so we’ve got one small Hawaiian, one medium chicken alfredo, and one large supreme. Good thing we’ve got some coupons. Alright, you all go start on your homework. Fiz, Harry will be helping you with your math. Go get everything set up on the coffee table. And Lot, after I place the pizza order I’ll help you with your book report. But I want you to set up at the kitchen table and at least attempt to start something without me, okay?”

“You _better_ ask for extra Parmesan,” Lottie said apathetically.

“Brat,” Louis called after her as she headed towards the kitchen table. Under his breath, he muttered, “Teenagers.”

“We’re teenagers, Lou,” Harry reminded him.

Louis stuck his tongue out at him.

Harry went off to find Fizzy. She was set up at the coffee table in the living room slumped over her math book and notebook. She had her head in her hands and looked absolutely stressed.

“So what are you learning?” Harry asked, sitting down next to her on the floor.

“Long division,” Fizzy sighed, “I just can’t seem to get it right though. It’s frustrating.”

“Can I see?” Harry asked, and Fizzy passed him her notebook, “Oh this isn’t too bad,” Harry mused, looking over the example problems, “By the time we’re done, you’ll be a long division expert!”

They worked on her problems and Harry couldn’t help but feel a little proud when he saw the light bulb go off above her head. Soon, she was solving the problems herself without him intervening at all to help. As she was working on the final problem, she said -

“So, you’re the leading man in Louis’ play?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry nodded, scootching to lean back against the couch, “He’s Romeo and I’m Julien.”

“Yeah,” Fizzy nodded, scribbling down the final answer, “He was really happy when he heard you were going to be his leading guy or whatever. Couldn’t stop talking about it.”

“Wait, what?” Harry shook his head, “He was so angry at me though…”

“Nah,” Fizzy pushed her hair back behind her ear, “I think he was angry because he didn’t want you stealing his spotlight or whatever. But he was really excited. Is really excited. He talks about you a lot. Harry this and Harry that.”

“Well that’s...something.”

“Do you like him too?” Fizzy asked, closing her books and setting them aside.

Harry glanced back towards the kitchen where Louis was explaining to Lottie the thematic elements in The Great Gatsby. He could feel the flush on his cheeks as he nodded shyly.

“I do. I like him a lot.”

“So then what’s the issue?” She asked, exasperated and Harry couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“You need to talk to your brother about these things,” Harry told her, “Not me.”

“He’s weird about stuff. He’s kind of an idiot. And I can say that because I love him,” Fizzy hopped up on the couch, tucking her legs under her, “but he is. If he tries to be mean to you and push him away, you gotta fight that much harder against him. I know these things. He talks to me about things sometimes, Harry. Because unlike Lottie, I’m not too old to pretend I don’t care. At least not yet. But I know what I’m talking about.”

“It sounds like you do,” Harry nodded. He thought about what Niall had told him. About how Louis acted up for attention and only ever wanted Harry’s attention on him at all times. No matter how much Louis tried to push him away, Harry would try that much harder to show him he wasn’t going anywhere. To show him he cared. He wanted to show Louis he was worthy of something good in his life. And Harry wanted to be that something good.

The doorbell rang, and the twins ran down the stairs taking them two at a time. Louis grabbed the cash off the table by the door and answered the door. He passed the boxes to Harry and told him to set them in the kitchen. Harry took the boxes and organized them onto the kitchen counter. He got out some plates and began putting the twins’ slices on two Little Mermaid plates he’d found.

“Thank you, Harry!” They said as he handed them their plates.

“Of courses, Princesses! Why don’t you take your plates into the dining room. We’ll all be right in there in a second.”

“Thank you so much for helping, Harry,” Louis said, putting a hand on the small of Harry’s back, “Really.”

“Of course,” Harry loaded up a plate with slices of Supreme and handed it to Louis, “Here you go. You go sit.”

Louis laughed, “Yes, Mom.”

Harry smirked. After everyone had their plates all fixed, Harry joined them in the dining room. He took a seat across from Louis because the twins insisted he come sit beside them. As they were munching on their pizza, Daisy asked -

“So are you dating Louis?”

Louis choked on the soda he was taking a sip from. Harry flushed bright pink.

“Dais, that’s not...you don’t...don’t just ask those questions, okay?” Louis shook his head.

“Why not?” Phoebe chimed in.

“Because you just don’t,” Louis frowned, plucking a mushroom off his pizza.

“So you’re just friends then?” Lottie asked.

“Oh my God!” Louis rolled his eyes, “Nosey, every single one of you!”

“Well...are we?” Harry asked. Louis glanced up and met Harry’s gaze across the table. They hadn’t actually talked about it really. And everything with Louis was oh, so confusing and Harry just wanted some sort of answer.

“Of course not, Styles,” Louis scrunched up his face, “You’re still trying to convince me to let you be my friend. I’ll keep you posted though. You’re doing pretty well so far though. Help the monsters with their homework more often and we’ll see.”

Harry tossed a black olive at Louis from across the table.

Louis yelped and tossed one back.

\--

“You really don’t have to do that,” Louis said, coming into the kitchen to find Harry standing at the sink rinsing the dishes, “Especially not after you’ve done so much already.”

“It’s fine, really,” Harry insisted. He didn’t mind doing the dishes. He always did the dishes at home anyway. It was always strangely calming to him.

“Well thank you,” Louis hopped up on the countertop next to the sink and began kicking his feet against the wooden door, “It meant a lot actually that you came over tonight. It was fun. The girls absolutely adored you. I hope they didn’t give you too much trouble.”

“Not at all,” Harry smiled, squirting some soap onto a plate, “I like them. They’re sweet. Makes me wish I had a younger sibling to be honest.”

“If you had four of ‘em, you’d change your tune, Style,” Louis laughed, still kicking his feet on the counter, “I’m sorry about the uh...awkward question earlier.”

“It’s fine, Lou.”

“Like I tell you, babe. It’s nothing personal. I’m just not gonna let myself drag you down. Not gonna let you get too close. Besides, you really, really don’t want me for a friend. Like I said, I’m a handful.”

“I have big hands.”

Louis let out the loudest cackle Harry had ever heard come from his mouth. He couldn’t help but giggle too. Louis doubled over onto the counter, clutching his sides and shaking his head.

“If I didn’t hate you so much, I’d say I didn’t mind having you around too much.”

“Well thank you for that,” Harry grinned, rinsing the soap form the last plate.

“Come on,” Louis hopped down from the counter, “I’ll walk you home.”

“We never did go get my bike,” Harry winced, “We can’t leave it overnight, Lou!”

“Alright, alright. I’ll drive you to school. Lemme just go tell Lottie she’s in charge. I’ll meet you outside.”

Louis scurried upstairs to find Lottie. Harry headed outside, stuffing his hands into his sweatshirt at the biting, October air. He couldn’t help but feel like he just fit in Louis’ home, with Louis’ family. Like it made sense for him to be there. He knew he couldn’t have those thoughts. Louis had pretty much made his mind up. Harry wasn’t going to give up. One way or another, he was going to make Louis his friend. Maybe more one day, but Harry didn’t want to get too ahead of himself.

Louis shut the front door and hurried to the car. “It’s fucking freezing out here,” he muttered, turning the heat on.

“Yeah. I wonder how the weather will be next weekend.”

“What’s next weekend?” Louis asked, backing the car from the driveway.

“The fall carnival,” Harry reminded him. Harry hadn’t mentioned the fall carnival to anyone since the date discussion at play practice. But secretly it’d been on his mind since Louis had talked about it. Buying his ticket, letting him ride whatever ride he wanted, winning him a giant stuffed bear. Harry wanted that all so, so much.

“Oh yeah,” Louis tightened his grip slightly on the steering wheel, “Are you going to that?”

“I don’t know,” Harry picked at a thread on his sweatshirt, “Maybe.”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, “It sounds fun.”

“Are you going to go?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know,” Louis shrugged, “Maybe.”

“I think I’d like to go,” the air in the car suddenly felt very thick. The silence very noticeable.

“Well then…” Louis clenched and unclenched his hands on the steering wheel, “...maybe we should go then.”

“Together?”

“Of course not, Styles. Just like...if you’re gonna be there...and I’m gonna be there...we might as well at least be civil. And the civil thing would be to acknowledge each other and maybe hang out a little bit. Just...to be civil.”

“Of course,”  Harry nodded curtly. He could feel the dimple popping in his cheek, “Civil.”

“Right. Civil.”

“Louis…”

“Yeah, Hazza?”

“It’d be a bit silly for us to drive separately to the carnival. I mean, if we’re going to see each other there anyway and since we live so close to each other.”

“You gunnin’ for a ride, babe?”

“Not exactly,” Harry bit his bottom lip, “Just thought maybe you’d want me to pick you. Up on the bike.”

Louis’ eyes widened to twice their size and his whole entire face was aglow as he said, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“O-okay, yeah,” Louis nodded, “I suppose I’ll let you pick me up. On your bike,” Louis pulled into the school parking lot, “But before you go gettin’ your hopes all up, Styles, this isn’t gonna be a date. Got that?”

“Not a date,” Harry nodded.

“Right. Just two guys going to the fall carnival together on the back of one of the guy’s motorcycle. You’re paying for your own damn ticket and if you think I’m winning you a teddy bear, Styles…”

Harry just giggled, opening the car door and hopping out, “Goodbye, Lou!”

“Not a date!”

“Whatever you say,” Harry grinned, hopping onto the back of his Harley.

Louis flipped him off.

Yeah. Not a date.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the sweet responses for this story!! It really makes me so happy to see. Like honestly, I light up when I read what you have to say and it just really touches my heart! So thank you so, so much for that.

When Saturday night came, Harry stood in front of his bedroom mirror, holding various shirts up to his body. He knew it wasn’t a date. Louis had said multiple times it wasn’t a date. But the following day after Harry had helped Louis’ sisters with their homework, Louis had invited him and Niall to eat lunch with him and Zayn and Liam. And the five of them had all talked and laughed. And all week long, they’d eaten lunch together. Louis always sat next to Harry and flung his arm around Harry’s shoulders. And it was nice - so, so nice. And Louis would poke him or tickle him or jab him in the cheek right where he knew his dimple was. But there were also the times where Louis would flit over to sit next to Niall or crawl into Zayn’s lap or pinch Liam’s nipple, all while not paying any attention to Harry. It was a roller coaster. But Harry figured he might as well get used to the ride. Besides, he’d always had a thing for roller coasters.

The plan was for Harry to pick Louis up at seven. Zayn and Liam were going together on their own, but would meet Harry and Louis at the carnival. Niall had to visit his grandma for the weekend, so he wasn’t going to be there. In the back of Harry’s mind, he kept thinking to himself “double date...this is a double date.” But he tried to shake that thought from his head.

Harry settled on his favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt. It was a short sleeve shirt, but Harry had a little thought earlier that afternoon. His dad had a vintage leather jacket from when he was in high school. It was very Dallas Winston, if Harry did say so himself. Maybe he’d let Harry borrow it just for tonight. Harry adjusted his t-shirt that he’d paired with his tightest, charcoal skinny jeans. For shoes, he’d settled on a pair of black Chelsea boots. He had to admit, he looked good. Maybe Louis would think so too…

He ran a hand through his curls. Louis had started taking more interests in Harry’s curls the past few days - calling him Curly and yanking at them. Not that Harry really minded much. Not at all, actually. He examined his facial features in the mirror - his freckles and one small pimple on the side of his head that made him scowl slightly. A knock on his bedroom door pulled Harry from those thoughts though.

“Come in!” He said.

“Hey,” Des smiled at Harry, coming inside and leaning against his son’s dresser, “Getting ready for your hot date, H?”

Harry rolled his eyes, “Dad! It’s _not_ a date! We’ve been over this.”

“Gemma says it’s a date.”

“Gemma can keep her big mouth shut…”

“Harry,” Des raised a brow.

“Sorry sir,” Harry sighed, “But it’s _not_ a date.”

“Mmhmm,” Des smirked, “Right. Not a date. You’re just primping for…”

“Myself,” Harry leaned back into the mirror and touched at the pimple.

“We raised you kids to have self-love, but son. I’m not blind. You aren’t fretting over a pimple just for yourself. And you’ve been talking about this carnival for the last few days. You can say it’s not a date all you want, but...if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…”

“Dad,” Harry winced.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Des laughed, holding his hands up in surrender, “Well, you just about off?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to ask you a quick question,” Harry pulled away from the mirror and took a deep breath, “Could I um...could I borrow your jacket? The uh...the leather one?”

“Oh,” Des nodded slowly, “Well, H. Any other circumstances and I’d have said over your dead body, child of mine. But...considering the circumstances…”

“And what circumstances are those?” Harry raised a brow.

Des sucked in a smile, “Your _date_ , of course!”

“Oh my God!” Harry swatted at him playfully, “ _Dad!_ ”

“Hey!” Des swatted back, “Behave or I may change my mind about the jacket.”

Harry’s eyes widened, “Wait...I can borrow it?”

“C’mon,” Des waved Harry to follow him to the master bedroom. Harry leaned against the doorframe as Des entered the closet and returned a few seconds later holding the treasured leather jacket.

“This is so sick,” Harry reached out to touch the jacket.

“Go on,” Des urged, “Try it on. Let me see what it looks like on you.”

Harry took the jacket tenderly and gently shrugged it over his shoulders. It fit like a glove. He twisted and turned to see his reflection in his dad’s dresser mirror. It looked amazing and sort of took his breath away.

“Wow. Thanks, Dad.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Des rolled his eyes, “You just go and enjoy your _not_ -date. And sweep your _not_ -date off his feet, alright?”

Harry gave his dad a quick hug. Des pressed a kiss to the side of Harry’s head before Harry hurried down the stairs taking two at a time. He hurried out to the garage and started up his bike. He knew he looked amazing. He felt amazing. He felt like he was on the top of the world at the moment. Nothing could possibly ruin that for him. Even if Louis ended up being in one of his poor moods. Harry was absolutely committed to making this night as amazing as he felt.

\--

When Harry pulled up into Louis’ driveway, Louis was leaning against the garage door. He was wearing his black skinny jeans, his Stone Roses t-shirt, and his denim jacket that Harry had complimented him on the other day:

_“You should wear blue more.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Brings out your eyes.”_

_“Ew,” Louis had said, punching Harry in the stomach before darting off somewhere._

“You look nice,” Harry hopped off his bike.

“Shut the hell up, Styles,” Louis rolled his eyes, but Harry could see a light blush staining his cheeks as he said it, and Harry knew by now Louis’ I’m-trying-not-to-smile face.

“Whatever you say, Tomlinson. You ready to go?”

“I suppose,” Louis pushed himself off the garage, “So...how do we do this?”

“You...get...on...” Harry explained as if explaining the most obvious thing in the world.

“I know _that_ you idiot,” Louis scoffed, “I just mean, like...do I have to...um...hold on to you?”

“Unless you want to go flying off and crack your skull on the cement, yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Louis, come on!” Harry sighed exasperated, “You know this was how this was going to work. Besides, you’ve been more physical with me than this. And you do know we’re gonna have to kiss for the play, right?”

They hadn’t talked about The Kiss just yet. Mr. Winston wanted the first kiss to take place on stage opening night. He said it’d be better that way. So they’d always skipped past the kiss during practices.

“I know, I know. Please don’t make me puke, Harold. Alright. I’ll get on.”

“Hold up,” Harry hopped off the bike and opened up the little metal trunk to take out a spare helmet, “You aren’t getting on without a helmet, Lou.”

“This is the dorky helmet, isn’t it?” Louis asked, eyeing the white helmet warily. It looked like a little pill. Harry merely shrugged.

“Well I’m not giving you mine. And mine is the best one. This one is protective. Wear it or walk, Tomlinson.”

“Fine, fine.”

Harry walked over to Louis and said, “Lift your chin up.” Louis did as he was told, and Harry snapped the strap under his chin. His stomach did a flip at being so close to Louis. And Louis’ breathing was a little different now too, he noted. Once the helmet was on nice and secure, Harry smacked it and said -

“Alright, let’s go.” He swung his legs back over the bike and motioned for Louis to climb on too.

Louis hopped onto the bike, wrapping his arms around Harry’s middle. Harry had to admit, it felt pretty amazing to have Louis’ body pressed against him. In spite of the chilly fall air, Louis felt warm. And soft. And Harry quite figured he could get used to Louis’ body against his.

Harry started up the bike, “You’ve really never been on one before, have you?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, “Never.”

“Alright, well it’s really intense. Just hold on tight to me, okay?”

“You just say that because you want me to hold you, Styles. I’m onto you.”

“No, I just don’t want you flying off and getting yourself killed. As much as I hate you, I’d rather not be accountable for your untimely death.”

Louis laughed, “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Harry took off down the street and headed to the high school. As they sped up slightly, Louis tightened his grip on Harry and actually pressed his cheek against Harry’s back. Harry smiled big, thankful Louis was behind him and that he was wearing a helmet. He knew Louis would probably pinch him or punch him if he saw the smile on Harry’s face right not. But Harry just couldn’t help it. Louis felt like he belonged pressed against him like this.

When they got to the high school, Harry parked out front of the main entrance. The usual parking lot was filled with tents and rides. He couldn’t help but feel excited. Especially when he saw the ferris wheel. Harry had a thing for ferris wheels. He parked the bike and tapped Louis’ hand with his finger.

“You can let go now, Lou. We’re here.”

“I know that,” Louis pulled off quickly and Harry would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little disappointed.

“So, what did you think?” Harry asked, letting Louis hop off first before swinging his leg over the side of the bike. Louis was unhooking the strap of his helmet.

“Fun,” he was smiling big too and Harry grinned, taking the helmet from him and putting both helmets in the trunk, “I can see why you like it so much. I’m a bit dizzy though.”

“Yeah, that happens. You’ll be wobbly for a bit. Until you eventually just get used to it.”

“Used to it?” Louis raised a brow, “You plannin’ on takin’ me on more rides, Styles?”

“We’ll see,” Harry smirked, “C’mon.”

They headed up to the ticket booth. As Harry reached for his wallet, Louis jumped in front of him.

“Hiya,” he told the girl manning the booth, “Reserved tickets under Tomlinson.”

“Right,” the girl flipped through a binder before handing Louis two tickets, “Here you are,” she handed Louis a roll of tickets and one roll of tickets to Harry as well. “Enjoy your night!”

“Louis,” Harry frowned, following Louis through the gates of the carnival entrance, “What is this?”

“I pre-bought tickets for us,” Louis shrugged as if it were no big deal, “Didn’t want them to run out. Besides, you gave me a ride. Buying your ticket was the least I could do. But...don’t go getting ideas, Styles. This is not a date.”

“Right,” Harry eyed Louis suspiciously. “Well, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, really. _Don’t_. I don’t want you thinkin’ I’m going soft to you or anything of that nature.”

“No, of course not,” Harry ran his fingers over the roll of tickets in his hand, “What should we ride first?”

“I don’t know,” Louis shrugged, “You pick.”

“The ferris wheel!”

“Really?” Louis frowned, “ _That’s_ what you pick?”

“What’s wrong with the ferris wheel?” Harry asked, “I love them. You can see for miles and miles. Besides, it’s dark out and we’ll be able to see the stars so well from up there and…”

“Alright, alright,” Louis sighed, “We’ll go on the ferris wheel.”

“Yay!”

They headed over to the ferris wheel. As they stood in line, Louis kept glancing up anxiously at the ferris wheel. He looked absolutely scared out of his mind.

“Lou,” Harry reached out and nudged Louis’ shoulder, “Look, you don’t have to ride it with me if you don’t want. I am a big boy. I can handle going on the ferris wheel by myself, you know?”

“I know that,” Louis bit back, “I’m not scared or anything if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I didn’t say you were. I am saying that if you don’t want to go on it for whatever reason, you don’t have to.”

“I know,” Louis frowned, looking up at the ferris wheel as it was making its rounds. They would be on the next go of it. He took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders, “It’s fine. Besides, if I end up falling out and injuring myself, I can always sue you,” he poked Harry in the stomach.

“Pretty sure you’d be dead, Lou.”

Which, okay. That probably wasn’t the most calming thing he could have said.

Luckily, Louis just rolled his eyes and said, “Well then I’ll haunt you from the afterlife then. Can you imagine me as a ghost?”

“Most terrifying thing I’ve ever imagined in my life,” Harry said earnestly.

Louis grinned, “I’d absolutely make your life hell, Styles.”

“As if you don’t do that already?” Harry replied playfully.

Louis snuck his hand into Harry’s jacket and pinched his nipple sharply.

“Ow!’

“What?” Louis grinned, “Just living up to my reputation, Styles. Where did you get this thing anyway,” Louis tugged lightly at the lapel of the leather jacket.

“Why?” Harry’s brows furrowed suspiciously.

“It just looks good on you is all,” Louis shrugged.

“It was my dad’s,” Harry explained, “Well, _is_ my dad’s. He let me borrow it for tonight. I figured it went with the whole Harley aesthetic.”

Louis rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Such a dork, Harold. Which is a damn sin considering you look like a fuckin’ rockstar tonight.”

Harry blushed and Louis’ cheeks flushed too. They said nothing else until it was their turn in line. They handed the ride manager their tickets and climbed inside one of the gondolas. Harry climbed in first, and motioned for Louis to climb in next to him. As Louis slid in beside him, Harry said -

“I’m gonna put my arm around you and you’re gonna let me, okay?”

Louis didn’t object. Harry wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulders. And as the ferris wheel started to go up, Louis tucked closer against Harry.

“You know one of my fears now,” Louis said as the gondola paused.

“Heights?” Harry guessed.

Louis nodded, “Yeah.”

“Then why did you come with me you idiot?” Harry rolled his eyes, “Christ, Lou! I told you you could have just waited on the ground of me. Or gone off to find Liam and Zayn.”

“I know, I know,” Louis sighed, “I just...I wanted the experience.”

“Well I’m glad you’re facing your fears then.”

“Don’t go gettin’ sappy, Styles!”

“Can I tell you something?” Harry asked.

“No.”

“My parents kept saying we’re on a date.”

“Well that’s their problem, isn’t it,” Louis peered out over the side of the gondola as he said, “I was waiting out by the garage because if you came up to the door, my mom would want you to come inside so she could take our pictures.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, slightly embarrassed.

“Oh my God,” Harry laughed, “That’s too funny!”

“Shut up, Styles. Our parents are both mental if they think this is a date.”

“What would you call this then?” Harry asked.

“Just two friends hanging out,” Louis shrugged.

“Ha!” Harry let out a gasp, “So you admit it!”

“Admit what, Styles?” Louis flicked the fringe from his eyes.

“That we’re _friends!_ ” Harry was grinning quite proudly. He felt like he’d just succeeded in accomplishing something fantastic. Which, Harry supposed he did.

“Don’t go gettin’ all weird on me, Harold. Or else I’ll take it back and denounce any friendship with you for all eternity.”

Harry smirked, poking Louis’ thigh, “We’re friends.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“We’re friends, we’re friends, we’re friends,” Harry kept poking at Louis’ leg.

“I will throw you off this gondola,” Louis scrunched up his face and swatted at Harry’s hand, “Don’t think that I won’t.”

Harry shut up - for just a moment. The gondola was now almost to the very top. Suddenly, Harry began to sing -

“ _You’re the best friend that I ever had...I’ve been with you such a long time, you’re my sunshine, and I want you to know...that my feelings are true! I really love…_ ”

“Harold!” Louis slapped his hand over Harry’s mouth. He glanced around anxiously as if making sure no one had heard them, “Christ! You’re such a mess!”

Harry licked Louis’ hand and Louis quickly pulled it off only for Harry to start up again, “ _Ooh, you’re my best friend!_ ”

“Shut the fuck up!” Louis hissed, “Oh my God! You’re a freaking embarrassment. Like how do you even live?”

Harry just grinned and began to sing, “ _You’ve got a friend in me..._ ”

“Oh my God!” Louis threw his head back and let out a groan, “Will you shut up?”

Harry just shook his head and kept singing.

Louis let out an animalistic growl before grabbing the lapels of Harry’s jacket.

“What do I have to do to shut you up?” Louis snarled.

Harry shrugged innocently.

“Fine then,” Louis yanked Harry by the lapels of the jacket, slamming his mouth to his and kissing him.

Harry didn’t know if it was the surprise, or the fact that Louis Tomlinson was actually kissing him, but he felt as though the wind had been completely knocked out of him. He felt as though he was underwater. But in a good way. Like nothing else was real except this moment right now.

Louis released him as quickly as it’d happened, shoving him back slightly, “Finally!” Louis groaned, “Will you be quiet now?”

Harry couldn’t even find the words to speak, so he just nodded.

“Thank fuck!” Louis flicked the fringe from his eyes. He was trying to appear nonchalant, but his cheeks were flushed bright pink and his eyes were twinkling.

“The uh...the stars are pretty tonight,” Harry said dumbly, not really knowing what else to say.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, looking up, “They are, huh?” Louis tucked himself back under Harry’s arm, “Hey Styles,” Louis grinned, twisting Harry’s nipple until Harry doubled over and cried out, “least I know how to shut you up now when you get on my nerves!”

\--

“There you two are!” Liam and Zayn hurried over to where Harry and Louis were sitting on a bench. They’d gotten cotton candy from one of the booths and were currently smashing the sticky floss into each other’s mouths, smearing it on each other’s faces until they were both an ooey, gooey, sticky mess.

“Hiya, Payno!” Louis giggled as Harry smashed more blue cotton candy into his mouth.

“Where were you guys?” Zayn asked, “We’ve been looking for you!”

“Well, we went on the ferris wheel and then we wanted cotton candy!” Harry provided right as Louis smeared pink cotton candy onto his mouth.

“Christ,” Zayn muttered, watching them.

“Hey, Tommo. Aren’t you scared of heights?” Liam frowned.

“Turns out ferris wheels aren’t half bad after all,” Louis quirked an eyebrow at Harry, making him blush and giggle.

“Oh my God,” Liam pinched the bridge of his nose, “Alright. Well we want to do the corn maze. So are y’all coming or not?”

“Yeah yeah. Hold up,” Louis turned his attention back to Harry, “Jesus, Styles!” He rolled his eyes, “You’re a fuckin’ mess! C’mere!” He jerked Harry’s face close to him by the chin and proceeded to lick a thick stripe across the corner of Harry’s lips where they were stained pink from cotton candy. Harry felt as though his head was currently filled with light, fluffy, cotton candy. Louis made him feel fluffy. Fluffy and dizzy.

“So…” Zayn narrowed his eyes as Harry and Louis hopped off the bench and the four of them headed to the corn maze, “What _is_ this exactly?”

“What is what?” Louis asked casually before taking a running leap and hopping onto Liam’s back, “Onward, noble steed!” He kicked at Liam’s hips and Liam growled but hoisted him up nonetheless.

Harry smiled fondly, watching Louis kick at Liam.

“You’re a menace!” He called after the two of them.

Louis raised his middle finger in the air.

Harry laughed.

\--

After the corn maze, they wandered around the rest of the carnival. Harry spotted a game where you had to throw a ball to hit milk bottles. If you hit down all the milk bottles, you could win a massive stuffed penguin. And Harry thought it was a very, very cute penguin. He was looking at it out of the corner of his eye when Louis let out an exasperated -

“Oh you’re fucking kidding me! Alright, hold up.”

He darted towards the booth. And after twenty minutes, all his tickets, and a few loud threats to the pimply teen manning the booth, Louis won the stuffed penguin. He shoved it gruffly into Harry’s arms.

“Don’t say I never got you anything,” Louis rolled his eyes.

Harry preened, squeezing the penguin tightly to his chest before pressing a light kiss to Louis’ cheek.

“Thank you. I love it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Styles. I only got it for you because I didn’t want to hear you bitch for days about how you wanted that fuckin’ thing,” Louis reached out and petted the penguin’s head, “Don’t tell me you’re gonna name it.”

“Hmm,” Harry frowned at the penguin, thinking over some names in his head before announcing, “Herman. His name is Herman.”

“Hate you so much, you dork,” Louis rolled his eyes, strolling off ahead.

Harry kissed Herman on the beak.

\--

They rode back to Louis’ with Herman pressed between Harry and Louis. And as sad as Harry was for not having Louis’ body pressed against his, he was still soaring high with the memories of tonight. Louis had kissed him. Louis had bought him his ticket. Louis had won him a stuffed animal. Harry didn’t even try to fight the smile on his face.

When they got to Louis’ house, Harry was tempted to ask Louis what this thing was between them. But he knew better. Asking Louis something like that right now would freak him out. Louis would probably get defensive and lash out and Harry wasn’t about to let this night end on a sour note. He’d just take whatever Louis wanted to give him, and in turn, give his all to him. Whatever happened in between, Harry would just have to wait and see.

Harry figured he didn’t mind waiting.

Louis hopped off the bike and pressed Herman between Harry and the handlebars, “Take care of Herman, alright?” Louis said, knocking his knuckles against Harry’s helmet.

Harry wanted to say so much more. He wanted to ask Louis what this was. He wanted to grab Louis and kiss him. He wanted to hug him tight. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to tell him, “I love you and have since we were children!”

Instead, Harry just watched Louis head up the driveway.

“Not a date my ass!” Harry called after him.

Louis turned on his heel, facing Harry and grinning madly.

He had his middle finger in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know!! It's slightly frustrating. But don't worry. Louis just needs some time to work with what he's feeling and Harry and Louis will figure everything out eventually! 
> 
> I hope you still liked this chapter regardless. 
> 
> I love you guys!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! I am so sorry it's taken me awhile to update!! I have felt so sick lately. The other day I took a five hour nap and I never, ever, ever take naps. And then off and on for the past three days I've just felt like crud. And I couldn't even try to sit down and write. But even though I'm still feeling under the weather, I really missed writing this and just had to update! I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> In this chapter, Zayn gives Harry some insight onto Louis and his personality and Harry takes Zayn's advice. And it's pretty adorable and makes me smile and I hope it makes you smile too, lovebugs!!

“Talk to me,” Zayn said, sitting down on the edge of Harry’s bed, and picking at a thread on the knee of his ripped black skinny jeans, “I am so confused right now. All I know is I got a Facebook message from you last night screaming at me to come over here today because apparently you’re having some sort of emergency. Your house isn’t on fire. You aren’t bleeding out or something. So what’s the emergency then?”

“It’s Louis,” Harry took a breath, sinking down into his swivel computer chair. He picked at his bottom lip, trying to think of what he wanted to say. Last night, as soon as he’d gotten home from taking Louis home, Harry had sent Zayn a Facebook message. All he had said was, “COME OVER TOMORROW MORNING EMERGENCY!!!!” Which, maybe had been a bit dramatic. But drastic times called for dramatic measures, right? Or something like that…

“Of course it is,” Zayn rolled his eyes good naturedly, “Alright babe. Talk to me. You look pretty spooked. This is about last night, right? The carnival?”

“Yeah,” Harry admitted. He really didn’t know what he was doing. He had never really interacted with Zayn much over the years. Zayn pretty much always kept to himself, and Louis. Sure, he’d wave at Harry in the halls and smile sometimes. But Harry had never invited him over or had a conversation one-on-one with him before. And Zayn kind of made him nervous. But he knew he needed to get to the bottom of things. And Zayn was like a brother to Louis. If anyone could give Harry some insight into the inner workings of Louis Tomlinson, it’d be Zayn.

“He was all over you last night,” Zayn wiggled his brows.

“That’s the problem,” Harry sighed, putting his face in his hands.

“How’s that a problem?”

“Zayn, he’s confusing! I never know what he wants from me. One moment he’s telling me he hates me and isn’t even my friend. The next minute he says we’re friends and kisses me. And then the next minute he tells me that this isn’t a date, in spite of the fact that it seems like it was very, very much a date. He gives me headaches, Zayn! And I just...I need someone who knows him better than I do to sort of tell me what it is he wants from me. I don’t know...it seems like each time I push, he backs offs. But I don’t know what to do here. What does he want from me?”

“Oh babe,” Zayn sighed, “Louis is...Louis. He’s complicated. Which is probably an understatement. Look, this may be a conversation you should have with him. But you seem in a bind, so I’m gonna help you out here. Everyone in Louis’ life usually leaves. When his dad left, it really messed him up, H. And then when his mom’s boyfriend left after he came out...that really did a number on him too. He convinced himself he doesn’t deserve people in his life. He convinced himself that he’s no good for anyone. So he pushes away before people can get too close. I think he likes you a lot, he just doesn’t know how to express that. And he’s kind of scared of admitting those feelings to himself.”

“So what should I do, Zayn? Am I his boyfriend...am I even his friend?”

“You’re his friend,” Zayn nodded, “Trust me on that. He sees you as a good friend. And I think he wants to be something more. The best I can tell you to do is just to do things at his pace, alright? He’s pretty bruised up after all this time. Let him know you’re there for him and you care about him. You like him a lot, right?”

“I do,” Harry bit his bottom lip before admitting, “I think I always have.”

“Will you wait for him?” Zayn asked.

“I will,” Harry nodded earnestly, “I will wait for him as long as it takes.”

“Alright. That’s seriously the only advice I can give you, bro. I know it sucks. But you have to do things at his pace and on his time if you want something with him. If you push him, he’ll spook and probably try to push you away even more. Just...let him think he’s the one calling the shots here, which in a way he is. But you can still...I dunno...treat him like how you want to treat him. You want him to be your boyfriend, slowly start doing more boyfriendly things for him. Show him what a relationship looks like. Because I honestly don’t think he knows. Just be there for him and care about him and...love him. You do love him, right? I can tell. I see it when you look at him. And I see it when he looks at you too, H. But you can’t push him. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

“So...I can still like, kiss him and stuff? Hold his hand a little?”

“If he let’s you, yeah. Show him what it means to be cared for and loved by someone. Show him that you’re not going anywhere. If you can prove to him first that you’re in this for real and you’re not going to just abandon him like everyone else has, then he’ll trust you enough to let you into his life more. He’s a good person, H. And he deserves something good in his life. You’re something good. And you make him happy. He lights up when he’s around you or talking about you. It’s proper adorable, really.”

Harry blushed at the thought. So basically he just had to prove to Louis he cared for him and wasn’t gonna leave him. He could do that. A small smile spread across Harry’s face. He could definitely do that. He was going to make Louis feel loved and cared for and make Louis trust him if it was the last thing he did. He was going to make it his mission to show Louis that sort of love and compassion and tenderness in his life. And Harry could hardly wait to see him at school Monday to start.

“I’m going to prove to him that I care about him and that I’m not going to just leave him one day,” Harry nodded determinedly, “And I’m going to show him what it means to be in a good relationship. I’m going to show him he can trust me, Zayn. Because he can. I’m not going to hurt him. I’m not going to just walk out on him either. No matter how difficult he can be. I’ve cared about him for the last ten years. I’m not going to just stop.”

Zayn grinned, “That’s good, H. Really good. He needs to see that. Can I just say you two were adorable last night? I’ve never seen him look so happy. At least not in a long time. He just lights up around you. Just know that sometimes it’s easier for him to say and do the opposite of what he means, alright? An ‘I hate you so much’ is an ‘I love you please don’t leave me.’ A pinch is a kiss. A punch is a hug. It’s how he deals with his feelings until he learns to trust you. So if he’s a bit of a handful, don’t take it as him being mean to you. Because it really is his way of showing love. Until he knows he can trust you enough to be vulnerable around you.”

“He’s not gonna chase me away,” Harry said, “I’m staying here for the long haul.”

“Good,” Zayn lightly punched Harry on the knee, “I’m trusting you with him, H. Don’t you hurt him, okay? He’s my brother. You hurt him, I hurt you. That’s how that works.”

“Promise,” Harry said, “I won’t hurt him, Zayn.”

“Good,” Zayn reached over to the bedside table and grabbed Harry’s phone. He tossed it to him, “Now then, text him. Tell him you’re bored and ask if he wants to come over. Bribe him with food. Spend the day with him. His mom’s working today, but Lottie and Fiz can watch the girls. Just invite him over to hang out with you and your family. Give him a little break from being permanent baby-sitter.”

“He probably won’t say yes.”

“He will,” Zayn hopped off the bed, “See tomorrow, H.”

Harry thanked Zayn and turned his attention to the phone in his hand. It couldn’t hurt, right? Louis would probably say no, and if he did, well - Harry could just go about his day as if nothing was different. And if he did say yes, they could hang out together and Harry could start going about showing Louis what it meant to love.

Harry took a breath and typed out the text -

_Hey. It’s sooo boring here today. Why don’t you come over? We can watch movies and I have snacks!_

He sat his phone down on his desk, not really expecting to get a reply. He opened up Tumblr and scrolled around on his blog for a bit. He was taken back when he heard the familiar ping of a new message. Harry opened the text and read -

_**I suppose I could come by, Harold. Only if you have cookies though.** _

_I don’t have cookies, but we could make some._

_**Like...baking?** _

_Yes, like...baking Lou. It’ll be fun._

_**I don’t bake.** _

_Then you can watch me. Come on. What do you say, Lou?_

_**Fine, fine. I’ll come over. But only because it means I get to watch you make me cookies.** _

_See you soon :)_

_**Whatever.** _

_**Dork.** _

A smile spread across Harry’s face. He pocketed his phone and hurried downstairs to find his mom. She was in the kitchen, washing her hands at the sink. She was wearing her Kiss The Cook apron that Harry’s dad had given her a few Christmases ago. Harry came up behind her, put a hand on her back, and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Alright,” Anne grinned, turning from the sink and giving him a coy smile, “What do you want?”

“Can’t a son just kiss his beautiful mother?”

“Yes,” Anne wiped her hands on her apron, “But you’ve got that gleam in your eye. I know you’re up to something. So out with it, baby. What do you want?”

“Can Louis come over? We want to watch movies and maybe bake cookies?”

“Of course, darling. You know that boy has always been welcome here. How is he? Did the two of you have fun at the carnival last night? I didn’t see you to ask last night.”

“It was great, Mom. Yeah. We had such a good time.”

“Well that’s good, baby. And how are things with the two of you?”

“Mom!” Harry shook his head, “We’re not like...together. Not yet anyway. Just...don’t say anything about dates or boyfriends while he’s here, okay? He’ll be here soon.”

“Wait...did you ask me if he could come over after you already told him he could?” Anne fixed Harry with a look.

“Um…” Harry shrugged sheepishly. She smacked him with a dish towel.

“You two have fun, okay?” She said, “And we have ingredients for cookies. Just make sure to clean up after yourselves, okay? And you can have the entertainment room for your movie day. I’ll try to keep Gem away from bothering the two of you.”

“Thanks, Mom!” Harry hugged her.

“Alright, alright!” Anne laughed, patting his shoulder, “You two have fun.”

“We will, Mom. Thanks!”

Harry set about pulling out the dry ingredients for cookies. A few moments later, the doorbell rang. Harry hurried to answer it, stopping at the mirror in the entryway to adjust his curls slightly.

“You are _such_ a dork,” Gemma giggled as she watched him fret over his hair and adjust his t-shirt.

“Mom said you couldn’t bother us!”

“I’ll be out of sight,” she promised, “But you sure are quite concerned over someone who isn’t your boyfriend.”

“He’s not,” Harry insisted, “He’s just...Louis. I gotta let him in, Gems. Go away!”

“Okay, okay,” Gemma reached out plucked a thread off Harry’s shirt before smoothing down the fabric, “You look fine, by the way, little brother. Don’t stress, alright?”

“Thanks,” Harry smiled at her as she squeezed his shoulder before she headed upstairs.

“Make sure you don’t leave bodily fluids on the sofa!” Gemma smirked as she continued to run up the stairs, “We all use that couch, ya know!”

“Gemma!” Harry shouted after her. Once she was out of sight, Harry took a deep breath - keeping in mind what Zayn had said - and opened the front door.

Louis was standing on the front porch with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his basketball shorts. He was wearing his light blue basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. His hair looked a bit mussed and Harry figured he must still be in his pajamas. When his eyes fell on Harry, a small smile crossed his face but vanished as quickly as it’d appeared.

“I want cookies,” he demanded.

“Oh please,” Harry rolled his eyes, “Do come on it, won’t you?” The picture of politeness, even if it was a touch sarcastic. He could still show Louis what a loving relationship looked like while at the same time giving him a little bit of his own attitude right back.

“Why thank you, Harold,” Louis smirked, breezily pushing his way inside.

Harry shut the front door behind him and led Louis into the kitchen, “You better be okay with chocolate chip, because that’s what we have the ingredients for.”

“Chocolate chip,” Louis rolled his eyes, “As if there’s any other acceptable cookie out there.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile. Once inside the kitchen, Louis hopped up on the counter, kicking his feet against the cabinets. Harry knew better than to ask him for help. Besides, letting Louis lose in the kitchen could be a disaster and he wasn’t about to get in trouble for Louis breaking something or making a massive mess. So Harry let Louis just sit on the counter and kick his feet while he set about mixing the cookie dough. Every once in awhile, he’d instruct Louis to hand him an ingredient from the counter and Louis would.

“Alright,” Harry said, “Hand me the bag of chocolate chips, please Lou.”

Louis bit his lower lip and held out the bag that was already in his hands, half eaten.

“Oh my God,” Harry shook his head as Louis guiltily chewed the mouthful of chocolate chips he had just taken a second ago, “Lou!”

“Sorry!” Louis blushed slightly and Harry thought that that was probably the most adorable sight he’d ever seen. He took the bag from Louis’ hands.

“It’s okay,” Harry sighed, “Our cookies will just be very lacking in the chocolate chip department. Which is okay. I suppose you’re sweet enough.” He didn’t know why he said it. Maybe it was Zayn’s words getting to him. Maybe it was because Louis did look quite sweet, all blushing and apologetic with cheeks wide with chocolate chips.

Louis kicked his foot out, nudging Harry’s thigh, “Shut up,” he shook his head, swallowing down the chocolate chips in his mouth, no bite to his words what so ever. Then, “C’mere.”

Harry furrowed his brows but scooted over to the right slightly so that he was standing between Louis’ dangling legs. Louis reached up and brushed his hands through Harry’s curls.

“You’ve got flour all in your curls, you idiot,” again, no bite behind the words. Harry glanced up as Louis continued dusting off his curls, to see him biting back a smile.

“You like sitting up on that counter, Lou?” Harry teased, “Like almost being as tall as me for once.”

“Oi!” Louis abandoned his task of getting the flour out of Harry’s hair for smacking him on the side of the head, “Not my fault you’re a freakin’ Sasquatch, Harold.”

“Sasquatch?” Harry quirked a brow. He knew he was risking getting punched or slapped or kicked but that was a risk he was willing to accept, “Little shit!” Harry growled under his breath before bringing his hands up to Louis’ ribs. Louis didn’t punch or slap. Instead, he let out a genuine squeal before bursting into a fit of uncontrollable giggles as Harry tickled him. And Harry couldn’t help but laugh too.

“Didn’t know kittens were ticklish,” Harry smirked.

“ ‘m not a kitten!” Louis cried between giggles as his little feet kicked, “ ‘m ferocious!”

“Uh-huh,” Harry rolled his eyes, “Sure,” he stopped tickling Louis and lifted his chin up with his index finger before kissing him sweetly on the lips. Louis didn’t pull away or hit him. He just allowed Harry to kiss him. And Harry could feel Louis smiling into the kiss.

“So, _so_ ferocious,” Harry smirked, breaking apart from Louis and turning his attention back to the forgotten cookie dough.

“Hmph,” Louis huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry could just tell how hard Louis was struggling to keep from smiling. They didn’t say anything else until after Harry had finished the cookie dough and had formed the balls and placed the cookie sheet into the oven to begin baking. He walked back over to the counter and handed the wooden spoon to Louis to lick as he set about washing the mixing bowl in the sink. Louis happily lapped at the wooden spoon, still kicking his legs.

“You make a mean cookie dough, Harold.”

“Why thank you, Lewis,” Harry grinned, squirting some soap into the mixing bowl, “Cookies will be out in fifteen minutes. We should probably let them cool for ten after that. Would you like to watch a movie, sweetheart?”

“Sweetheart?” Louis scrunched up his nose, but Harry saw his cheeks turn pink again, “A movie sounds good, _darling_.”

“Alright. We have an entertainment room with lots of DVDs. You can pick out whatever you want to watch,” Harry set the timer for the oven and led Louis towards the entertainment room. It was supposed to be a home office, but since there was an extra bedroom upstairs that served that purpose, their family had turned it into an entertainment room complete with two sofas, massive flat screen, surround sound, and lots of DVDs, game consoles, and video games. Louis looked as though he’d just stepped into Narnia as he glanced around, clearly impressed.

“Here,” Harry pointed him towards the rack of DVDs, “Pick out whatever you want.”

“You have everything from Kill Bill to Love Actually. Impressive collection.”

“Thank you,” Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t preen under the compliment.

“Will you make fun of me if I pick Titanic?” Louis asked warily.

“Never,” Harry shook his head, “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Mine too,” Louis admitted, picking the DVD from the rack, “Titanic it is then,” he handed the DVD to Harry and Harry popped it into the player. Louis sunk down onto the sofa as Harry set up the movie. After Harry had gotten it all set up and had pressed PLAY, he went to sit down on the other side of the sofa. He didn’t want to crowd Louis.

“I am offended, Light through Yonder Window!” Louis scoffed and Harry really tried not to allow his stomach to flip at the term of endearment Louis had adopted for him since the start of Romeo and Julien, “Are you really going to sit all the way over there?” He was grinning as he said it.

Harry couldn’t help but smile as he scooted closer to Louis. When he was next to him, Louis actually wrapped his arm around Harry’s shoulder. “C’mere,” he said turning Louis’ chin so that he was facing him, before pecking him on the lips again. He figured he could get quite used to kissing Louis. And as long as Louis was letting him, Harry would kiss him as often as allowed.

“Mmm,” Louis smiled, “As much as I love having cute boys with curls kiss me, you should watch the movie, Hazza. You’re being a distraction!” Louis poked him in the ribs, making Harry squeak.

“You callin’ me cute, Tomlinson?” Harry asked, snuggling into Louis’ side.

“Don’t be a little shit about it, Styles, or it’ll never happen again,” Louis bit back a smile before pressing his lips to Harry’s temple, “Now watch the damn movie!”

They turned their attention onto the TV screen. If anyone saw them, you’d think they were a couple. Harry was curled up and pressed into Louis’ side, and Louis was pressing against Harry. Paying attention to the movie was easier said than done however, considering they would both shoot not-so-secret glances at each other.

The timer went off and Harry paused the movie to go take out the cookies. He didn’t want to miss out on a moment of movie day with Louis though, so he didn’t even allow them to cool. He just scraped them off the cookie sheet with a spatula and put them onto a paper plate. He fixed two big cups of milk and headed back into the entertainment room. Louis’ face lit up when he saw the cookies.

“What happened to ‘they have to cool?’”

“Impatient,” Harry sat the cookies and the milk down on the massive ottoman in front of them. He tucked back against Louis and pressed PLAY again. Louis reached for the cookies and bit into one.

“Oh my God! Harry! These are the best chocolate chip cookies ever!”

“Really?” Harry asked apprehensively.

“Yeah!” Louis grabbed for another one, “Might keep you around now that I know you’re good for something.”

“I’m good for plenty,” Harry reached for a cookie.

“Baking cookies and being a pain in my ass. Two things, Harold.”

“Be nice or no more kisses for you today,” Harry threatened. Louis fish-mouthed, but said no more. Harry pulled Louis into a cuddle. Louis didn’t pull away. They watched the rest of the movie in each other’s arms.

\--

“Stupid idiot!” Louis growled, gesturing to the TV, “There was _plenty_ of room on that board for Jack!”

“But his weight would have been too much,” Harry argued, “They’d have both drowned.”

“So? Better to die together than apart. She could have at least tried!”

“He let go of her hand though. He knew his weight would be too much. He chose to let go and give her the chance at surviving.”

“You are a disgrace to Titanic fans everywhere, Harold! Everyone who loves Titanic knows that this is the one shitty thing about the whole movie.”

“But his weight would have…”

“Don’t want to hear it,” Louis shook his head, “And not to mention the fact that she went on and this whole other life without Jack.”

“He would have wanted her to live life to the fullest!”

“Still sad to think that she just moved on from him.”

“She never forgot him though.”

Louis frowned, hopping up from the couch, “I need to get home. I promised Lottie I wouldn’t saddle her with the kids all day. Seriously though, Harold. There was plenty of room on that damn board, she just didn’t try hard enough.”

“Ugh!” Harry jumped up from the couch, following Louis towards the front door, “You’re impossible, you know that right! It’s all logic. The board couldn’t have supported both their weights…”

“You’re a disgrace to romantics everywhere, Harold,” Louis swung open the front door, “An absolute disgrace!”

Harry knew it was the age-old debate when it came to Titanic. There were two sides and everyone who watched the movie ended up on one side or the other. He also knew this was mostly just banter. Louis being Louis. Still though, this wasn’t the way Harry wanted their movie day to come to an end. He didn’t want it to end in an argument.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis headed out the door.

“O-okay then,” Harry called after him. Louis was halfway down the driveway when Harry heard him hiss -

“ _Shit._ ” Before turning and running back up to the porch. He grabbed Harry and kissed him. A real kiss. Not just a peck on the lips. Not just as a means of getting him to shut up. But a real, honest to God, kiss. And Harry felt his knees go weak under him. His head felt light and cloudy and everything just felt right. He felt like kissing Louis was the most sense anything in the world made.

And just like that, Louis broke apart and darted back down the driveway.

Harry leaned against the doorframe, still trying to catch his breath.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe it's been so long since I've updated! I knew it's been awhile but I just now saw the date of my last update! Things have been crazy lately - both irl and in the fandom. But I am hoping to write more and update more of not only this story, but some others as well. Please forgive me for that.
> 
> To make up for that, I've written a very, very long update. It sort of got out of hand with how long it is, but I am really pleased with it. It's very angsty though, so please be aware of that. I hope to update more frequently now that school has started. I have about four hours a day between classes so i'll certainly have time to write more so yay!
> 
> Chapter warnings include: angst, angst, more angst, and...oh, some more angst. There's also discussion of coporal punishment (which again, I do not condone at all, but it goes in with the storyline and my writing of Des's character. Just know that it does not reflect my personal beliefs). 
> 
> Also, I promise you...I don't write sad fics. Everyone one of my fics ends happily, no matter how much agnst there is. So please keep that in mind. Also bear in mind that Louis' a very troubled character in this fic and he has a lot to learn and go through. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this update!

Harry couldn’t sleep that night. He felt as though butterflies had made a permanent home inside his tummy. He was still so incredibly confused by Louis, but he would take confusion if it came with kisses and cuddles. Louis was slowly opening up, slowly letting himself closer and closer to Harry. But Harry couldn’t help but think of what Louis had told him so, so many time - I am going to push you away, I push everyone away eventually, I am not going to let myself close to you. Harry just hoped that along the way, Louis wouldn’t go back to trying to push him away. He was so, so happy - happier than Harry had seen him in a long time, if ever. He was smiling more and giggling more, and Harry just wanted that for Louis’ life - happiness, laughter, joy. He didn’t want the darkness that had made Louis so angry, withdrawn, and sad for the last few years to return.

Monday morning came and Harry went about his morning as usual. He got dressed, ran a brush through his curls, helped his mom make breakfast. It was a typical Monday morning in the Styles household. Until suddenly, a car horn blared. Harry was just about to get up from the table and head out to his bike when it started. Des lowered the newspaper in his hands.

“What the hell is that?” He asked.

“No idea,” Anne got up from the table and peeked out the blinds in the kitchen, “Oh my God,” she let out a soft squeak, “Harry, looks like your ride is here.”

“My ride?” Harry frowned, “But…”

“You better go out there then,” Des smirked, returning to reading the paper, “before the neighborhood watch calls the cops on that boy for a noise complaint.”

“Oh my god,” Harry deadpanned.

“I think it’s cute,” Gemma chimed in, “He’s picking you up for school, H.”

“He’s being a menace,” Harry stood from the table, grabbing his backpack that was leaning against the kitchen doorway, “Alright. I better go quiet him down. Have a good day, everyone.”

“Sure, sure,” Gemma smiled, giving Harry a little wave.

“Have a good day, Harry-Berry,” Anne called after him.

“You too,” Harry tugged his backpack onto his shoulder as he headed out the door. Louis was behind the wheel of his car, still hitting the horn over and over again. Harry rolled his eyes. It was a wonder the cops weren’t here already.

“What the hell, Louis?” Harry opened the passenger door, tossing his backpack in the backseat before sliding in, “You’re going to get a noise complaint.’

“So?” Louis shrugged, “Not my fault you’re late.”

“Late?” Harry raised a brow, buckling his belt, “How am I late? You didn’t even tell me you were picking me up? And we’re not late. School doesn’t start for another thirty minutes.”

“I’m taking you to breakfast, duh,” Louis said, as if it were completely obviously and Harry was a complete twat, backing out of the driveway.

“We only have thirty minutes.”

“I know that, Styles. We’re just stopping at the donut place on the way to school, not going to IHOP or something,” Louis rolled his eyes, “Like I’d actually take you for a breakfast date.”

“Of course not,” Harry replied, a small smile teasing the corner of his lips.

They drove the rest of the way to the donut shop in silence. Once there, Louis parked the car and they headed inside. Louis shushed Harry when Harry tried to order, and instead ordered them a three chocolate iced donuts and three strawberry iced donuts. He also asked for two cartons of chocolate milk. After paying, the lady behind the counter handed over a white cardboard box with their donuts. They headed back to the car to eat. Louis turned the key in the ignition and fiddled with the radio before finding the rock station. 

Harry took a strawberry iced from the box and took a bite. It was fresh, still warm and gooey - the frosting just a tad on the melty side. It tasted absolutely delicious.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Eh,” Louis shrugged as if this were nothing, practically stuffing an entire chocolate iced in his mouth, “don’t go getting used to it, Styles.”

“Of course not,” Harry smirked, liking a bit of pink icing from his thumb.

“Here,” Louis held out his half-eaten chocolate iced to Harry, “Try this.”

Harry lowered his head and allowed Louis to feed him a bite of the chocolate donut, despite there being others in the box. As he chewed, Louis reached his other hand up, and using his thumb, wiped a bit of icing off the corner of Harry’s mouth. He popped his thumb into his mouth and Harry had to bite his tongue to keep from letting out a moan. The whole thing was really quite intimate. Of course, Louis wasn’t going to allow that to carry on much longer.

He swiped his finger over the chocolate donut, collecting a dollop of icing on his finger, and smearing it down Harry’s nose, giggling at himself as if it was the most brilliant idea ever.

“Little shit,” Harry said with complete affection.

Louis looked away, but Harry caught the soft smile spreading across his face and the way Louis squirmed slightly in the driver’s seat. Harry couldn’t help but smile. As much as Louis tried to deny it, as much as he tried to act all cool and indifferent, he absolutely adored attention. So after he’d wiped the chocolate icing from his nose with one of the napkins they’d been given, he reached over gently tucked Louis’ hair behind his ear. Louis’ smile grew slightly, and he squirmed a bit more in his seat before batting sharply at Harry’s hand.

“Enough of that,” Louis said, clearing his throat, “We got to get to school, Harold. No funny business.”

“Right,” Harry smirked, straightening his his seat and folding his hands in his lap.

Louis smacked him before tossing the empty donuts box to the backseat and backing out of the parking space. 

They continued to drive to school. Harry stared out the window at the passing scenery. He really didn’t want to go to school today. Skipping had never even been a thought to him before. But he sort of just wanted to spend the day with Louis, alone with Louis. He had never outright skipped before. The only times he’d ever been absent was when he was sick, and last year when his grandmother had passed away. But today, he couldn’t shake the thought from his head. Louis pulled into a parking space when Harry said - 

“I don’t want to go to school today.”

Louis blinked at him, “Why, Harold, you're not suggesting we skip, are you?” Louis asked, scandalized.

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged sheepishly.

Louis rested his hands on the wheel, “If you want to skip, just say the word. It’s not like I haven’t done it before.”

“I-I want to skip,” Harry nodded, assuredly.

“Very well,” Louis backed out of the parking space and drove out of the school parking lot, “So, where do you want to go, my moon and stars?”

Harry bit his lower lip. He hadn’t given it much thought really. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t,” Louis smirked, “because you’ve never done this.”

“Where do you go when you skip?” Harry asked.

“You say that like I do that a lot.”

“You do,” Harry reminded him.

“True,” Louis shrugged, “Normally when I skip, I skip with Zayn. We go down to the little river not far from here, sit on the rocks and have a smoke.”

“Let’s go there then.”

“Okay,” Louis drove towards the little river hidden in the woods of their neighborhood. It was a bit of a walk, but it was a nice day and Harry didn’t mind. Louis stayed quiet as they made their way through the brush. Once they got to the river, Louis spread his arms out as if presenting the scenery to Harry, “Ta-da,” he grinned, “The river.”

He strode over to the edge of the water and hopped up on the rock formation in the water. Harry followed suit. It was a really lovely day - just slightly chilly, but the sun was warm and bright. Louis shrugged out of his jacket and laid it to the side. Harry sat cross-legged beside Louis on the rock.

“This is nice,” he said.

“It’s okay,” Louis shrugged, “I used to come here a lot a few years ago. It was sort of my place to come when things got to be too hectic.”

“I’m sorry.”

Louis shrugged again, “It is what it is.”

“You went through a lot these last few years,” Harry said, picking at a thread on the torn knee of his jeans, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I could have been a better friend to you,” Harry frowned, “I could have been a _friend_ period.”

Louis just hummed once, dismissively, as he rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his chin against his hands. He was looking intently at the water rushing past them below. He looked so incredibly small in that moment and Harry’s heart ached. 

“I knew you were struggling and I wanted to reach out more. I just...I didn’t know how. And eventually, I just sort of gave up.”

“It was never your responsibility to look after me,” Louis said quietly, still looking at the water instead of Harry, “I don’t know why you keep thinking it is.”

“Because,” Harry tried to chose his words carefully, “I care about you.”

“For now.”

“What does that mean?” Harry frowned.

“It means I have an expiration date, Styles. You care about me now. But in a week, two weeks, a month? You won’t. You’ll give up on me. I’ll push you away. Or I’ll do something to hurt you. It’s inevitable.”

“Don’t say that,” Harry felt the pink of his stomach turn to lead, “Please, Louis. That’s not true.”

“It is though,” Louis sighed, “Everyone leaves me eventually, so I make it so that it’s on my terms. I’ll push you away and I’ll hurt you so I don’t get hurt.”

“I am not going to hurt you, Louis,” Harry tried to keep his voice calm, soft. But he felt a tightening in the back of his throat and there was this thickness to the air that wasn’t there a few moments ago. 

“You won’t because I won’t let it get that far,” Louis frowned at the water.

“Louis, you’ve been hurt so many times,” Harry reached a hand up to touch at the pale pink line across Louis’ cheek - the scar he knew was from Jay’s boyfriend, “I am not going to…”

Louis jerked away from Harry’s hand in such a way that made Harry feel as though he’d just been punched in the stomach.

“I know that scar is from your mom’s boyfriend,” Harry said, “I know it’s hard for you to trust people…”

“Shut up!” Louis shouted then, “Just _shut up!_ You keep acting like you know me and you don’t know me at all. Stop looking at me with pity, Styles. You’ve _always_ looked at me like that! And I fucking hate it! Yeah, so what if I have a scar from him,” Louis folded his arms over his chest, still glaring out at the water, “Not like Des hasn’t ever laid a hand on you!”

“That’s different,” Harry frowned, hating that Louis was comparing his father to Jay’s ex boyfriend, “My dad would never leave a mark on me, Louis. My dad would never hit me for being gay.”

“What’s the difference,” Louis shrugged.

“The difference _is,_ ” Harry sighed, running a hand through his curls, “The worst my dad ever did to me was hit me three times with his belt for slapping Gemma. That was the absolute worst he ever did. He punishes me when I’ve done something deserving of punishment. Being gay is nothing to be punished for, Louis.”

“You were terrified of him that day in the tree house.”

“I was a kid,” Harry said, “You keep bringing up that day. You keep holding it over my head, Louis. If I had known you were just going to hold it over me, I’d have just taken the spanking and been done with it.”

Louis made a scoffing sound in the back of his throat and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, because everything is always forgiven in your perfect little family.”

“It is,” Harry frowned, “That’s how it works. You forgive each other. You don’t hold grudges. I don’t even know what we’re arguing about here, Louis. You make no sense. You push me away and you tell me that I’ll just end up hurting you, but you don’t give me the chance to prove otherwise. You kiss me and let me hold you and cuddle you and we act like we’re boyfriends and then you go and do stuff like this. I know you’re scared of getting hurt, but I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to leave you. You aren't a carton of milk, for fuck’s sake! You don’t have a _god damn expiration date,_ Louis!”

“We aren’t boyfriends,” Louis said, his voice biting.

“Okay,” Harry said slowly, trying to process what was happening. For two people who weren’t boyfriends, this was starting to feel an awful lot like a break up.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

“Oh my God!” Harry threw back his head, exasperated, “Would you stop pushing for two seconds and actually _let_ yourself be loved and cared for, Louis?”

“You don’t get it, do you? You act like I’m your personal little charity project, Harry! You treat me like you’re on some mission to show me what it’s like to be loved. I don’t need your charity. How many times do I have to tell you that in my life?”

“Caring for you is not charity, Louis.”

“It sure feels like it. I’ll buy that line when you stop looking at me with pity.”

“Louis…”

“It’s true, Styles. I see it in your eyes.”

Harry’s heart sank to his stomach. He knew Louis was right. 

“Like I don’t already know you’re too good for me,” Louis spat the words out as if they were battery acid in his mouth, “you look at me as if I am beneath you. I’m reminded of it every day as it is without you reminding me more!”

“I’m sorry!” Harry felt dizzy, “I never meant to...I didn’t mean to hurt you, Louis. I am sorry. I just...I feel bad.”

“Not everyone has what you have - not everyone _can_ have what you have. It’s the roll of the dice. I’ve accepted that, Harry. I’ve accepted that I can’t have the perfect little life you do. And you can’t. You can’t just accept that we’re different!”

“Louis…”

“No! I’m over this,” Louis stood up from the rock, brushing the back of his jeans off, “I’m so over this! I am so over _you!_ ”

“You’re just saying that,” Harry stood up, a feeling of complete desperation flooding over him, “You don’t mean that. You just are trying to push me away.”

“No shit!” Louis hopped down from the rocks, “I never asked you to come into my life, Styles. I never asked you to try to reach out to me. You were the one that decided all that on your own. Well guess what, I don’t want your attention and I don’t want you!”

Harry felt hot, hot, hot. Everything felt so hot. The air suddenly was so thick and he was struggling to breathe as he followed Louis through the forest, “You don’t mean that! You said it yourself that you’d try to push me away. You think I’m going to just stop caring about you, but I’m not, Louis. I’m not! I’ve always cared about you and I always, always will.”

“You don’t even know what you’re saying,” Louis continued to storm back towards the direction of the car.

“Tell me what you fucking _want,_ ” Harry shouted, “I’m not a fucking mind-reader, Louis! You’re so backwards all the time! And I try to do what Zayn says and…”

“Zayn?” Louis turned on his heel to glare at Harry, “Zayn? You’ve been talking to _Zayn_ about me?”

“Well…”

“That’s rich!” Louis roared with a fake laughter, “Really _fucking_ rich.”

“I just wanted some insight. You’re such a puzzle to me, Louis. One moment you’re picking me up for school and feeding me a donut and bringing me here and the next...this.”

“I tried! I told myself to try for you. To give you a chance here. I’ve been trying so fucking hard! I don’t know how to be anyone’s boyfriend. I don’t know how to...how to love anyone! But I figured I’d try for you. Because you are kind of cute and being with you doesn’t suck too much. But I can’t be with you if you’re just going to keep looking at me like I’m breaking your heart. Or treating me like I’m some project - or better yet, _puzzle_ \- to converse with my friends and try to figure out how to solve.”

“Louis, I’m sorry!”

They were at the car now and Louis stood in front of the car, arms folded over his chest, “I know I’m a fucking mess, okay? I know that, Styles, without you making me feel even more like a mess.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening right now!” Harry shouted, desperation lacing his voice, “We were fine earlier. Things were _fine!_ Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing this to you? Fuck you. I’m doing this _for_ you. I’m saving you from being part of my mess. I’m getting you out before you get in too deep. You should thank me. You follow me like a puppy. You treat me like I’m some precious thing made of glass. You’d never leave on your own. You’d stay and stay and stay and then eventually I’d hurt you - bad, I might add. And I’m not letting that happen.”

“What the fuck?” Harry was confused beyond all belief, “Nothing you’re saying is making any sense, Louis. _Nothing!_ You’re saying you can’t be with me because I look at you with pity, you say that you can’t be with me because you’ll just hurt me eventually. But don’t you see that what you’re doing right now is hurting me?”

“I’m stopping this before it gets too late,” Louis said, unlocking the car, “I’m putting an end to it right here and now. I can’t keep pretending like I could be good enough for you. I can’t keep pretending like maybe this will be the first thing in my life that doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass. I just can’t. So I’m ending it now. Before it’s too late for both of us. Before I end up breaking your heart.”

He slid into the driver’s seat and Harry slipped into the passenger seat. Everything felt hot and thick and heavy. Harry felt the sob in his throat, all the way down into his chest. He felt something heavy crushing into his heart. This was it then. This is what getting your heart broken felt like.

“You’re breaking my heart right now,” Harry said quietly as Louis backed the car out and began to drive back in the direction of the high school.

Louis didn’t say anything.

\--

When they got to school, Harry walked off towards the building, leaving Louis behind. He texted Niall instantly, asking him to meet him in the boy’s bathroom. He paced around the bathroom while waiting for Niall, trying to urge himself not to cry. He felt like his heart was literally shattered, jagged pieces in his chest. 

“Harry?” Niall called as he entered the bathroom.

“Niall,” Harry wiped at his eye with the back of his hand.

“Shit,” Niall went over to Harry, embracing him in a tight hug, “What the fuck happened?”

“Louis,” was all Harry could say.

“Damn it,” Niall hissed, “Alright, alright,” he soothingly patted at Harry’s back, “Tell me what happened, Haz.”

“Things were fine,” Harry said, “LIke really good. He picked me up at home and we drove to get breakfast together. He bought donuts and it was all very sweet. And we decided to skip school today and hang out together. He drove us to the river and we were just sitting there and he just started picking this fight with me. He told me he was tired of me pittying him, that he never asked for this. And he said that he was ending all of this before he could get the chance to hurt me worse. Before we got too attached. He said he was ending this before he broke my heart. But Niall, he’s breaking my heart right now.”

“Fuck,” Niall hissed. He pulled back and held Harry out at arm’s length, “I’m so, _so_ sorry, Harry. You know I am.”

“I know,” Harry nodded, wiping at his eye again, “I should have known...I kept thinking if I just showed him what it meant to be loved and cared for...that it’d make a difference.”

Niall nodded. Inside Harry’s back pocket, his phone buzzed. He reached around, pulling out, and checking the text.

“It’s from Zayn.”

“What does it say?”

“H, I’m so sorry. If it’s any consolation, he’s not speaking with me right now either. Can we meet to talk.”

“Tell him to come here,” Niall said, “We’ll have a little pow-wow in the boy’s room or something.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile - Niall was always saying things like that, making him smile when he needed it most. He shot off a quick reply to Zayn, telling him to meet them in the boy’s restroom. It wasn’t long before Zayn wandered in. First thing he did was pull Harry into a tight hug. Harry felt his heart swell. One good thing to come out of all this was getting to meet Zayn. He really was just a good, genuine friend. Harry was glad to know him.

“I’m so sorry,” Zayn said, pulling back, “I should have known. Louis...is a mess, Harry. And I thought maybe if you tried hard enough, he’d be okay. But he’s not. He’s really not. And I wasn’t a good friend to either one of you. I know he’s struggling. He’s really messed up, H. And that’s nothing you or anyone can fix. I shouldn’t have encouraged you like I did. I should have...I should have done more. For him and for you.”

“This isn’t on you,” Niall rested a hand on Zayn’s shoulder, “It’s not.”

“I’m his best friend,” Zayn shook his head, “I just have felt so powerless. I’ve been there for it all. I was there when Mark fucked off. I was there when Jay’s ex hit him. I was there when Jay told Louis it was all his fault that they were struggling, that they were alone. I was there when he started to raise his siblings on his own. I was there for it all. And I’ve felt so powerless. So when you came a long, I thought encouraging you would help him. I thought you could maybe heal him in a way. But what Louis is dealing with goes beyond that. You can’t be his savior, H. I know you want to, but you can’t be.”

“I just don’t understand. Nothing he said made any sense today.”

“He was just spewing bullshit,” Zayn brushed a curl from Harry’s eyes, “to try to hurt you and push you away. He’s all backwards in his thinking. He thinks that if he hurts you today, and ends things with you here and now, it’ll be better than one of you getting hurt later on once you’re more attached. What he doesn’t realize is that he’s got to let himself run that risk or else he’ll never let anyone close. He thinks he’s saving himself and you.”

“But he’s _killing_ me,” Harry admitted, rubbing at his eye again and sniffling, “I never knew anything could feel like this. It just feels so final. I’ve known him since we were all kids. And he’s always just been there. But this felt like everything was just over. Like we’ll never talk again after this. At least not outside of the play. This is the end - of anything that was between us or could have been between us. And fuck,” Harry’s voice broke off, “I fucking love him _so much._ ”

Zayn’s face softened ten fold, “I know, babe. I know. But you can’t be his savior. No amount of love can heal his wounds, love. And the thing is, I was thinking of him but I wasn’t thinking of you. You put your heart on the line under my encouragement. And that wasn’t right of me. You need to stop this. You need to understand that it may be a hopeless cause. Louis is damaged in a way that you can’t wholly fix. And that’s hard to hear, I know. But you have to just step back. Because you can’t keep getting hurt like this. And if you keep trying, you’ll keep getting hurt. Maybe Lou has a point. Maybe you do need to just drop this before it gets worse.”

“I love him,” was all Harry could say.

“I know,” Zayn nodded, “I know. But there’s times when love just isn’t enough. And that fucking sucks, but it’s true. Love can’t fix everything. I wish it could. I wish it was so simple. I was deluded in thinking otherwise.”

“No,” Harry shook his head, “I-I can’t just stop. I can’t stop loving him.”

“No one’s asking that you stop loving him,” Niall said, “we’re just saying you should pull back. The heart wants what the heart wants. But you do have a choice to encourage those feelings or not. Don’t encourage them, Haz. You can’t. Because you’ll only get hurt more.”

“You’re already so attached. Lou too,” Zayn sighed, scratching at the nape of Harry’s neck lightly with his nails, “He saw this and knows it. And in his mind, he needed to do it now before it got worse. Before you two got in too deep.”

“We’re already in too deep,” Harry shook his head, “Or at least, I am.”

“Which is why he thinks this is a good idea now,” Zayn explained, “Before you got worse. Before he encouraged you more. He’s scared, Haz. He’s scared and he’s screwed up. And it sucks. And it sucks for me to know that as his best friend. But there’s nothing I can do. I’ve tried. I even suggested he try to go to the school counselor just to talk to someone. Got a bloody fucking nose for it, is what I got. No one can help him without him first being willing to get help. And you can’t keep putting yourself out there just to get hurt.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Harry walked over to the sinks and leaned against the counter, “I just don’t know how I am even going to face him today at practice. I can’t...I can’t look at him without feeling my heart shatter again.”

“You’re going to have to,” Niall squeezed Harry’s arm, “It’s just one of those things in life that you have to face even if it sucks donkey dick.”

Harry’s lips upturned against his own will at that, “Niall.”

“What?” Niall shrugged, “It’s true.”

“You suck donkey dick,” Zayn smirked, poking Niall in the side.

“What does this mean for us?” Harry asked apprehensively.

“What do you mean, babe?” Zayn asked.

“Well, I’ve gotten to know you and Liam. And I think it’s okay to say that we’re all friends, right? I’m not wrong in thinking that, am I?”

“No,” Zayn shook his head softly, “You aren’t wrong.”

“So what does this mean for us?”

Zayn inhaled, running a hand through his hair as he thought for a moment, “It means, that we’re friends. And we’re going to stay friends. Maybe we won’t be able to all hang out as much or see each other as often, but we’re still your friends, H. Louis is my best friend. It would make sense for me to take his ‘side’ but there are no sides in this. It just sucks all around. And I’m not just going to stop being friends with you two because of Louis. And that’s something he’s going to have to understand. When he starts talking to me again,” Zayn frowned.

“I am so sorry,” Harry shook his head, “Really, Zayn. I’d never want to come between you.”

“No, no,” Zayn was quick to correct him, “that’s not it, Haz. Really. He’s got to spend his anger. I am sure by the end of the week he and I will be just fine again.”

“What happened after he gave you the bloody nose?” Niall asked curiously.

“Well, once he saw the blood he freaked the fuck out. He was rushing around and getting me an ice pack and telling me to lean back and was fussing over me until the bleeding stopped. And once it did stop bleeding, he told me to fuck myself and walked out the door. We didn’t talk for a week. And then the next week, he came up to me with the new Spiderman comic he’d picked up at the comic’s store he knew I wanted. And he shoved it at me and mumbled ‘here’ and that was that. He kind of sucks at apologizes, and won’t ever actually say he’s sorry. But you can tell he is.”

“Will you two be okay after all this?” 

“Eventually,” Zayn shrugged, “Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after. But we will be.”

“What do I do about play practice today?” Harry groaned, covering his face with his hands, “I can’t face him. I just _can’t._ ”

“You can and you will,” Zayn said firmly, “And you’ll be professional and you’ll get through it.”

“He was my ride today.”

“I’ll give you a ride,” Zayn offered, “I’ve been meaning to swing by play practice anyway. Just to um...watch. I can do that today. Then you aren’t there completely alone. Li and I will be there. And if Louis gives you any trouble, I’m not above kicking his ass for it. Then after practice, I can take you home. You live next door anyway,” Zayn smirked, “Of course I’ll give you a ride.”

Harry felt like he could start crying all over again, “Thank you, Zayn. Thank you so, so much.”

“Always,” Zayn shrugged, “C’mon. We should probably get our asses to class. God knows I don’t need another suspension in my record. And I don’t want you two to get in trouble either.”

Harry headed to his History class after hugging Niall and Zayn goodbye in the hallway. He went through the rest of the day feeling rather much like a robot. He felt as though he were on autopilot. His movements throughout the day were automatic. He felt numb. Absolutely numb. And when he didn’t feel numb, he felt pain. When they talked about heartache, they weren’t lying. Heartache came with physical pain in your chest as if your heart truly were broken, jagged pieces. 

At lunch, he picked at his sandwich. Niall sat across from him, eating in silence. Harry knew Niall was trying hard to be what Harry needed. And right now, Harry just needed the quiet. Every once in awhile, Niall would gently tap his toe to Harry’s under the table and they’d smile a shared, sad smile to one another. Harry caught himself looking for Louis in the cafeteria. He didn’t even know if Louis had come into the school or not. Maybe he’d taken off after Harry had headed back inside. But surely he’d show up for play practice. Louis took his acting too seriously not to show. But Harry still caught himself glancing around for Louis.

And then the evil little intrusive thought entered his mind that Louis would come up behind him and toss a pack of chocolate donuts from the vending machine down on top of his sandwich, and would wrap his arms around Harry from behind just like that one day. And he’d whisper in his hear, ‘You didn’t think I actually meant what I said back there, did you, you twat?’ as he tickled him. But Harry knew that that was an evil thought. It was over. Completely over. Before it even had a proper start. 

When the final bell of the day rang, Harry gathered up his things and slowly made his way to the drama room. His feet moved as if he were walking through molten lead. His heart was clattering against his chest like windows in their panes during a bad storm. When he got to the drama room, he inhaled a sharp, painful breath before grabbing the door handle and pulling it open.

Liam was there already and Harry let out a soft breath as he saw Zayn standing next to him. Zayn waved him over.

“Hey,” Zayn smiled sadly, “Mr. Winston said I could definitely sit in today. After you all finish, I’ll take you home. I’ll just be right over there on those bleachers. You’re gonna be okay, H.”

“Thanks, Zayn,” Harry couldn’t help but smile, “It means a lot.”

“Of course,” Zayn nodded before heading over to the bleachers to sit and wait.

“Christ, H. I am so, so sorry,” Liam shook his head, “Zayn filled me in. Let me just say, it took a lot of courage for you to come here and I know being here can’t be easy. But it’ll be okay. Just get through practice and then you can go.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, “Is he even here?”

“I didn’t see him in his classes,” Liam shrugged, “But there’s no way he’s missing practice. He’ll be here.”

“Terrific,” Harry sighed, setting his backpack down before sitting down in the circle of chairs next to Liam. He pulled out his script and busied himself by going over his parts. Each time he heard the door open, he stiffened but didn’t dare look up.

Mr. Winston came to the center of the circle of chairs just as the door opened. Harry still didn't look up, but he heard Mr. Winston say, “Mr. Tomlinson, good of you to join us.”

Harry felt his heart plummet into his stomach. He didn’t even want to face Louis, much less have to act their scenes together. Part of him debated quitting. But he wasn’t a quitter. And Louis would only be proven right if he did. Besides, the whole play was counting on him. He had to be professional and get through this. No matter how painful it would be. 

“Of course,” Louis said coolly, slipping into an empty seat on the other side of Liam. Harry purposefully stared straight ahead at Mr. Winston. Turning to look at Louis would be far, far too painful. He felt like an absolute idiot. He should never have let himself fall so hard for Louis. It was his own damn fault. He knew Louis was trouble and he’d put his heart on the line. He had no one really to blame but himself. But it was easier to be pissed at Louis. But the thing was, no matter how hurt he was, he couldn’t be too angry with Louis. There was still part of him that wanted to run over and wrap Louis in a huge hug and kiss each eyelash and hold him tight. No matter how much Harry willed those thoughts away, they kept creeping back.

“Today,” Mr. Winston began, “We are going to act out the full play as opposed to a read through or just certain scenes. I want to see it from start to finish. So we’re going to head over to the auditorium to practice. I want to see it done on the stage like it’s meant to be seen.”

Liam grabbed his backpack and Harry did the same. The class headed out the door, following Mr. Winston. Harry wished that it felt different. It wasn’t fair that other kids were chatting lightly and laughing as if everything was normal and nothing was wrong. It wasn’t right. Not when the world was so drastically different. 

Zayn fell into step with Liam. He shot little glances at Harry - offering smiles and little thumbsup. Harry just felt worse though. Because Zayn and Liam weren’t walking with Louis, and they would be if Harry hadn't come in and messed things up. They’d all been such good friends before Harry. 

They walked across the street to the auditorium and once inside, Mr. Winston took a seat in the fifth row, right in the middle. He had a script with him, as well as yellow legal pad, pencil, and highlighter.

“Alright,” he said, “Crew come sit behind me and be silent. You can sit with the crew, Mr. Malik. Everyone else, behind stage. When you hear me call cue, you start as if it’s opening night and the curtain’s just gone up. Places everyone. Refer to your script for places and cues. Right then. Let’s go.”

The play began at the party. Julien’s party. There were fifteen people on stage - the guests, Julien, Mercutio, Romeo. Mercutio and Romeo were crashing the party together. And Romeo was supposed to spot Julien across the room, looking bored and disinterested. He was supposed to come over and flirt. Harry took his spot on the correct X. He watched across the stage as Liam and Louis took their places. Louis was looking anywhere but towards Harry. Harry wondered how this was even going to work. It was going to be an absolute disaster.

“And...curtain!” Mr. Winston called. 

The party guests began milling about. Harry pretended to fiddle with an invisible cup of punch in his hand. He tried his best to look bored. It wasn’t too hard, considering he really would rather be anywhere but there at the moment.

Across the stage, Louis held up a hand to block Liam from walking onwards, “Mercutio,” Louis began, “Who is that? That boy over there?”

“That’s Jullien,” Liam explained, “I believe this is his party we’re crashing tonight.”

“How have I never seen him before?” Louis asked in awe.

“Romeo, when have you paid anything any mind for more than five minutes? You’ve surely seen Julien around school, just have forgotten.”

“I would never forget a face like that, Mercutio,” Louis shook his head, “Never.”

“Well you should go say hi then.”

“I can’t! We’re crashing his party! I can’t go over and just start talking to him!”

“Sure you can,” Liam shrugged.

“It’ll be awkward.”

“Bro, it’s already awkward. You’ve been staring at him nonstop and I think he’s begun to notice.”

Harry was supposed to be watching Louis intently with a look of curiosity on his face. Which wasn’t hard to do, because right now Harry felt utterly confused by Louis. But he also felt broken and beaten down and utterly destroyed. This was supposed to be a scene of sparks and fireworks and instant connection and attraction. Harry pushed his heartbreak as far to the back of his mind as he could as he let a small smile play on his lips as he looked at Louis.

“Alright, I’m going to do it then,” Louis took a breath, “Just...give me a moment.”

“Go over and say hi!” Liam said, shoving Louis harshly towards the punch table. Louis stumbled forward and walked over to where Harry was standing.

“Um...hi?” He said, placing a hand on the back of his neck, looking awkward and sheepish.

“Hi,” Harry said, willing his voice not to break, willing himself not to burst into tears.

The opening scene went well. Better than Harry honestly expected. And half-way through the play, he felt himself develop this little feeling of hope. Louis was smiling at him, their flirting scenes felt natural and right. They just fit together. And things were good, so, so good. And the play was running so smoothly. Mr. Winston seemed so pleased. And after the final scene, Harry felt like they were okay again. Surely they were because things had gone so well. Their scenes were just so natural together. You just couldn’t fake that, could you?

After the final scene, Mr. Winston stood up and clapped. It was the part where Harry and Louis were supposed to kiss at prom. Of course, the kiss was held until the opening night. But they were still standing close together, facing one another. And for a brief moment, Harry felt that pull again. Their eyes were locked on one another’s - noses so close that they almost touched. And Harry’s eyes searched Louis’ for something - some sign that they were okay at the end of the day. But Louis’ glass-blue eyes were hard and unfeeling. And Harry felt his heart shatter in his chest all over again.

“ _Brilliant!_ ” Mr. Winston called, clapping his hands together. And just then, Louis pulled back from Harry as if being near him burned him, “That was excellent! I am very pleased! We will do a run-through again on stage once the props and scenery is all complete. This was just a test today. But I am very, very happy. You all are working very well together. It pleases me to see!”

Harry locked his hands behind his back, feeling a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wanted Louis to lean close, to hiss something snarky about Mr. Winston in his ear. But Louis said and did nothing. He was just standing there, arms folded over his chest, and looking rather bored.

“Tomorrow we will go back to read-throughs in the drama room,” Mr. Winston explained, “I’ll see you all then. Props and crew, please stay after for a brief meeting. Everyone else, you are free to leave.”

Harry watched Louis exit the stage, and he longed to go after him, to try to talk with him. But he thought about what Zayn had said. Doing so would only hurt him worse, he knew. Instead, he exited the stage and grabbed his backpack along with everyone else, before walking over to Zayn.

“That was brilliant!” Zayn said, slapping Harry on the back, “Let’s wait up for Li and then we can go.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded.

“Really, babe,” Zayn squeezed Harry’s shoulder, “I am proud of you for getting through that.”

“Thanks. It was um...it was hard. I still feel so much for him, Zayn.”

“Those feelings won’t go away overnight,” Zayn said gently.

“I know. I just...it felt so natural. Too natural.”

“Babe,” Zayn frowned, shaking his head sadly, “Lou is a really good actor.”

Harry nodded sadly, staring down at the black flooring. Zayn had a point. But still...could you really, really fake that sort of spark? Or was Harry just letting his hope and imagination get in his way?

“Hold up,” Zayn said before jogging over to where Louis was stuffing a jacket into his backpack.

Harry stood off to the side and watched as Zayn approached Louis. He could hear what was being said.

“Hi,” Zayn said.

“What do you want?” Louis asked, his voice sounding raw.

“I just wanted to tell you that you did good up there, Lou. Really. You’re gonna be great!”

“I _am_ great,” Louis spat back, “Why don’t you go back to Harry, Z. Since you’re apparently so close now.”

Harry frowned. That wasn’t fair. Louis shouldn’t have said that to Zayn. It wasn’t right of him to say that. Harry, against his better judgment, walked over to where Zayn and Louis were standing. Zayn turned to Harry and opened his mouth to say something - to tell him to back off, probably. But Harry was never one to have the best judgement.

“Don’t do that,” Harry said, keeping his voice firm despite just wanting to cry, “Don’t snap at him, Louis. He has done nothing wrong in any of this.”

Louis turned to Harry, his brow raised slightly as if he couldn’t believe that Harry actually had the nerve to come over and approach him. Harry honestly couldn’t believe he had the nerve either.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Louis asked, his voice eerily calm and level.

“I just don’t want you taking this out on him.”

“I’m not taking anything out on him. Clearly you two are besties now.”

“Lou, don’t,” Zayn tried, “Harry, maybe you should wait outside.”

“Oh, so you have plans then?” Louis folded his arms over his chest and leaned back a bit on the balls of his feet, “That’s really rich, then.”

“He needs a ride, Lou,” Zayn explained calmly, “Unless you’re going to take him? Given that you did pick him up from his place this morning.”

Louis rolled his eyes, “He’s got two legs, doesn’t he?”

“Jesus Christ,” Zayn tossed his head back, “Louis, are you ever going to pull your head out of your ass?”

“Are you ever going to mind your own goddamn business, Malik?”

“Stop,” Harry held up his hand, “Just stop. Zayn, let’s just go? Can we please just go?”

“God,” Louis growled, “I cannot wait for next year. Then I can be at uni and away from you and forget all about you.”

Harry felt Louis’ words like a slap in his face. He didn’t know why he said it. He didn’t mean it at all, he really didn’t. He was just angry and frustrated and wanted to hurt Louis the way that Louis had hurt him all day long. So without even thinking, Harry instinctively commented back, “If you can even get in.”

Harry heard the slap before he felt it. It was a loud crack that rang out through the mostly-empty auditorium. His cheek felt on fire, but he didn’t even register it yet. Instead, he just reached his own hand back and slapped Louis across the face with equal force.

“Hey!” Mr. Winston shouted, marching to where they were standing. Zayn had his face in his hand and was muttering ‘oh my god, oh my god’ over and over again in an exaspirated tone.

Harry thought Louis would strike him again. Instead they just stood there, eyes locked onto each other. The tension could be cut with a knife. Finally, Louis said, “You slapped me.” He sounded either in shock or impressed, Harry couldn’t tell which.

“You slapped me first,” Harry replied simply.

Louis opened his mouth to say something when Mr. Winston marched between them, “You two! _Mr. Tomlinson! Mr. Styles!_ You both have pay practice after school, so tomorrow morning my office, seven o’clock, before-school detention!”

“But...but school’s out now,” Louis protested.

“You’re still on school property, Mr. Tomlinson. I do not tolerate violence. You two will be in my office tomorrow, and every morning for the next week, from seven to eight o’clock. And if there’s any objections, I am not above calling your parents and informing them of you two fighting on school property.”

Harry paled, “Please don’t,” he begged softly. If there was one lesson he learned from his dad, it was that he did not tolerate physical fighting. 

“If either one of you doesn’t show up tomorrow morning, I am calling _both_ your parents and telling them about your unacceptable behavior. Now, get out of my sight until tomorrow.”

“Yes sir,” Harry mumbled, he grabbed his backpack and headed towards the doors. Louis and Zayn weren’t far behind, Liam trailing after them.

Harry felt physically sick. The last thing he needed was to get in trouble at home for fighting. But did Louis even care? At this point, Louis would probably not show up just so that Harry would get in trouble. Harry wouldn’t put it past him. As they headed out the auditorium doors, Harry grabbed Louis’ arm. Louis looked down at Harry’s hand with a raised brow.

“You have to come tomorrow morning,” Harry begged, “You have to.”

“I don’t have to do anything, Styles.”

“Please, Louis,” Harry begged, “Mr. Winston can’t tell my parents. You _have_ to be there.”

Louis scoffed, “Are you really asking this of me right now?” Louis asked, “I am done saving you from your father, Styles. If your little life is so perfect and happy, you can just deal with Des yourself.”

“Louis,” Harry begged, reaching out for his arm again, but Louis pulled back harshly.

“You’re acting like I give a shit. You’re mistaken. I’m not going to save you anymore, Styles. I’m not going to keep you out of trouble. I’m done with you. _Done._ Do you need a dictionary to look up the definition of what that word means.”

“Louis…” Harry felt his face crumble, he felt his lower lip began to shake. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. His eyes filled with hot tears.

“Fuck off,” Louis growled, his voice like gravel, as he walked off towards his car.

Zayn drove Harry home. The car ride was mostly silent. Zayn tried to talk to Harry about what had happened in the auditorium, but Harry couldn’t answer his questions, so Zayn eventually just stopped. Harry couldn’t answer because he himself didn’t really know what had happened. He still couldn’t believe he’d actually hit Louis, that Louis had actually hit him. And now he had detention because of it, and he was probably going to get into Big Trouble for using violence. And Harry just felt physically ill. He couldn’t imagine a day worse than today.

Once Zayn pulled into the driveway, they hugged goodbye and Harry headed inside the house. He set his backpack down by the front door and slowly made his way towards his dad’s office. The door was part-way open and Des was sitting at his computer typing, probably working on some emails. Harry raised his hand to the door and knocked twice. Des looked up.

“Harry, how was school today?” He asked, turning his swivel chair around to face Harry.

“Dad, can I talk to you?” Harry asked. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to run and hide back in Zayn’s old treehouse. But he knew he had to face this. Just like he had to face Louis today at practice. Like Niall had said, it was just one of those adult things you had to do that sucked donkey balls.

“Of course,” Des nodded, “Is this something private?”

“Um, sort of.”

“Close the door then and sit down.”

Harry closed his dad’s office door and sat down in one of the two chairs on the other side of the desk. “Tell me what’s on your mind, son,” Des prompted.

“You’re going to be mad.”

Des’s lips pursed into a thin line, “Just tell me what’s on your mind, Harry. I’ll be the judge of if I’ll get mad or not. But you need to talk to me. If something is upsetting you, we can work through this together. But you need to talk to me.”

Harry nodded, tugging at the thread on the knee of his jeans, “I did something bad today.”

“What did you do?” Des asked, his voice level.

“I um...I got into a fight with someone.”

Des raised a brow, “Go on.”

“It was Louis. We um...we fought this morning. It was really bad. I know I’ve said that we aren’t together, but this was so much like a breakup, Dad. And I didn’t want to go to play practice but I did anyway and we did it well and things were professional and good. But then after practice we um...we had an altercation. And he hit me so I um...I hit him back.”

“Okay,” Des nodded, “Continue.”

“Well, Mr. Winston said that we have detention in the mornings this week. He said if one of us doesn’t show up, he’d be calling both our parents. And I honestly don’t think Louis is going to show up tomorrow morning. And I just...I figured it’d be better if you heard this from me first, as opposed to getting a phone call from the school.”

Des took a deep breath, “You’re right about that,” he nodded once, “Thank you for coming to me and telling me in person, yourself.”

Harry bit his lower lip before asking, “What...what happens now?”

Des sighed, folding his hands on his desk, “You know I don’t tolerate physical fighting, Harry. You know that. I _know_ you know that. But in all your years, I have never once seen you look like this. You are clearly hurting right now, son. I don’t have the heart to add more to that. Don’t think you aren’t going to be punished for this though. No cellphone except for when you go to school, because I’d rather you not be driving around without a cellphone. But when you come home, you’ll hand it over to me. And no TV either. No phone, no TV for two weeks. Is that understood?”

Harry blinked at his dad, “Y-yes, sir.”

“Harry,” Des spoke softly, “I don’t want you to fear coming to me about things, okay? I know I am hard on you and your sister. I hold you to such a high standard. I have never been one of those parents to be afraid to spank their kids. However, I like to think that I am a just parent. It would not be just to punish you in that way today. It is very clear to me that you’ve been through a lot already today. I don’t want you to be afraid of me, Harry. I like to think that there’s a difference between fear and respect. I want you to respect me, not fear me.”

“I-I know,” Harry nodded, “I do respect you, Dad. I really do. I just...I really didn’t want that on top of everything else today.”

Des nodded, a small smile playing at his lips, “I know, H. I think today’s whipped your butt already without me having to do it.”

Harry let out a small whimper and Des laughed, reaching across the table for Harry’s hand. Harry took his dad’s hand and Des gave it a small squeeze, “So, are things really over with Louis?”

Harry felt his eyes fill with tears, “I don’t know, Dad. I think so. Zayn tells me I should let it go. He says that I can’t be his savior and that I can’t put my heart on the line like that. He said that I can’t save Louis and that sometimes love isn’t enough.”

Des hummed, “And what do you believe, sweetheart?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Yes you do,” Des squeezed Harry’s hand a little tighter, “So tell me. What do you believe?”

“That...that love always wins.”

“And you still believe that after today?”

“I can’t not believe that.”

“Well then, don’t give up. If you think that Louis is worth fighting for, keep fighting. But know sometimes there’s a point where you need to bow out. But if you still firmly believe that it’s worth it, then you fight for what you believe, Harry. I’ve seen how you are about that boy over the years. And I’ve seen how he is about you. Remember, Louis has been through a lot. You don’t come out of what he’s been through without a few scars. So be wary of that. But if you truly believe that love overcomes anything, then keep fighting for that.”

“Is it naive though?” Harry asked apprehensively. 

“If you believe so strongly in something, it isn’t naive,” Des squeezed Harry’s hand again, “Don’t give up, Harry.”

Harry nodded, wiping at his eyes with his knuckle, “I won’t.”

“Good,” Des stood up from his desk and walked around to Harry. He reached out his hands and helped pull Harry up out of the chair. He pulled him against him in a firm hug, “Don’t stop fighting for what you believe in, Harry. Never stop fighting for what you believe.”

“Dad…”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I love you,” Harry said.

“I love you too, Harry,” Des hugged him tight one more time before pulling back, “Now then, what do you say we tell your mom not to fix dinner tonight. I’m thinking this family needs a pizza and a movie night.”

“But Dad...you said no TV?”

Des clapped Harry on the back, “We can start your grounding tomorrow. I think you need a pizza and a movie night tonight. And tomorrow, do you know what you’re going to do?” Des asked, leading Harry out of his office with his hand still on the center of his back.

“What’s that?”

“You’re going to go to school and apologize to Mr. Winston. You’re going to accept your detention. And when you come home you’re going to hand over that cellphone of yours, mister. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”

“And you’re also going to do one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re going to apologize to Louis. I don’t care who hit who first. You’re going to be the bigger person and you’re going to apologize to him. An apology goes a long way when trying to mend things that are a little cracked.”

“Cracked,” Harry sighed, “Sure you don’t mean broken.”

“I mean cracked,” Des said firmly, “I don’t think for a second you and Louis are broken beyond any sort of repair. But just remember, repairs take time. Be patient with him. And be patient with yourself too. Don’t try to jump into things until your heart is ready and prepared.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Always,” Des said, wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulders.

“You know,” Harry smirked, a twinkle playing in his eyes, “for an old man, you give pretty good advice.”

“Oh!” Des pulled back slightly, “That so?”

“Mmhmm,” Harry bit his lower lip to keep from giggling.

“Don’t make me change my mind about that whipping,” Des smirked, before grabbing Harry in a headlock. 

“Hey! Hey!” Anne scolded as they came into the kitchen. Des still had Harry in a gripping headlock, using his free hand to tickle him as Harry tried to wrestle out of his dad’s grasp.

“You two!” Anne scolded, “I swear. Sometimes it’s like I am raising two boys as opposed to just one!”

Des unwrapped his arm from Harry, letting him up. Harry’s face was flushed as he brushed his curls back into place with his hands, shooting his dad a look and sticking his tongue out at him.

“Sorry love,” Des walked over to Anne and pressed a kiss to her cheek, “Harry and I were thinking that a pizza and a movie night sounded good to us. Hope you didn’t have dinner too prepared.”

“I hadn’t started on it, yet. No,” Anne sat down her dish towel and turned to Harry, “Dinner and a movie night? Everything okay, darling?”

Harry looked at his dad and smiled, “It will be.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I legit couldn't believe how long it'd been since I updated this. And I am so mad at myself for doing that to you all, and to myself too because I love this fic so much!! But I guess it does make sense when I think about it - in the time since i last updated, my laptop died and I've had two tests in my classes and I had family come stay. But still, I've missed this story so, so much!
> 
> So here's the new chapter (finally!!!) and I really want to post another one tonight. Because I am kind of in love with where I am going with this and must say, the writing bug has bitten me! So I'll try very hard to get my next update posted tonight! Thank you guys so much for the wonderful comments and feedback you give me. It really means so, so much to me. So thank you!!!

Harry trudged into the school the following morning with a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.  He’d been dreading this moment since yesterday afternoon, and now here it finally was.  And as much as his parents and Gemma had tried to take his mind off things with movie night, he couldn’t shake the immense feeling of dread at having to encounter Louis again.  He wished he’d never gotten involved with Louis Tomlinson in the first place, wished he’d never gone into that tree house that day ten years ago.  But he had, and here they were.  The only difference was that Harry was now absolutely stupidly in love with the boy, and Louis - he was pretty sure - hated him.

Harry walked to the drama room to find Mr. Winston organizing some paperwork at his desk. He glanced up when he saw Harry and said, “I’m giving him another five minutes. If he isn’t here by then, we’re going to go to the library and you’ll serve out your detention at the tables there. I’m glad you came, Harry. That shows personal responsibility.”

Harry shrugged, “Figure it was best to just own up to it and get it over with. I’m sorry for fighting, Mr. Winston. I don’t know what got into me really.”

Mr. Winston put down his papers and stood up from his desk, “Things are tense between you and Mr. Tomlinson. I’m not blind, Mr. Styles. But your chemistry with him on stage is something directors only dream of witnessing between their two leading actors. If things were different, I might pull one of you from the play. But I just can’t. Not when we’ve come so far. You two are perfect for each other on the stage. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to find some way of working together.”

“I’m sure we will figure it out,” Harry tried to sound optimistic, “Again, I am sorry for disrupting practice yesterday.”

“It is what it is,” Mr. Winston glanced up at the clock, “He’s got three minutes.”

“I don’t think he’ll show,” Harry said honestly. What reason did Louis have to show? The worst that would happen would be Mr. Winston would call their parents. Louis’ mom would probably come home from a long shift and lecture him about how he wouldn’t be allowed to watch TV for a week, except she wouldn’t be home to reinforce her rule, and he’d just keep doing whatever he wanted. And Harry had already told his dad. Besides, Louis wouldn’t care about showing up for Harry’s sake. Why would he at this point?

Harry watched the clock tick. Finally, the classroom door banged open and Louis strolled in, stuffing the rest of a kolache in his mouth and looking bored already.

“Good, you’re here,” Mr. Winston grabbed his keys, “Come with me boys. I can’t let you serve detention on the floor in here, or in the bleachers. So we’re going to the library. You can serve your detention at the tables there in the back. There’ll be no cellphone use, no homework, no laptops, no reading, nothing. I want you two to sit there silent and still and contemplate your actions.”

Mr. Winston locked the door to the drama room, and started off down the long corridor. Harry followed closely behind and Louis brought up the rear, trudging along a few feet back from Harry. Already, Harry could feel the tension between them. Feeling Louis’ presence behind him caused goosebumps to prickle Harry’s skin. He hated the reactions Louis brought from him. He couldn’t pretend Louis didn’t exist, because his own body betrayed him. 

Once at the library, Mr. Winston held the door open for them and brought them over to the cluster of tables for studying in the back of the library. Harry sat down at one of the tables, setting his backpack next to him in the empty seat. Louis made a show of slumping into one of the chairs at the furthest table from Harry’s. Harry rolled his eyes. 

“Alright gentlemen,” Mr. Winston cleared his throat, “I want you to contemplate for the next hour your behavior yesterday. As I told Mr. Styles, if I could, I’d have one or both of you pulled from the play - give your roles to the understudies. But there’s something about you two. You’re perfect together on that stage, perfect _for_ one another on that stage. For the sake of my art, I cannot in good conscience do that. So you two will spend the following week every morning right here. Tomorrow morning, we’ll meet in here instead of the drama room. You are to sit here in absolute silence and think about your behavior. Honestly, I have never seen such immaturity.”

Harry hung his head, staring at his hands that were folded together on top of the table. Mr. Winston was right. The way they’d acted had been immature. Harry shouldn’t have made that comment. Sure, Louis shouldn’t have hit him and Harry sure as hell shouldn’t have hit him back, but Harry felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. He knew his comment would hurt Louis to the core when he’d said it, and that had absolutely been his intent. He wanted to hurt Louis and make him feel just a fraction of what Harry had felt since Louis’ apparent melt down at the river.

Mr. Winston sat down at the table in the first row, pulling out his papers and going back to grading. Harry picked at a hangnail, working up the courage to glance over in Louis’ direction. He saw Louis was leaning back in his chair with his feet propped up in the chair opposite of him. He looked completely bored and Harry wanted to know why he was even there in the first place. 

After a few moments, Harry was bored. Bored and felt like absolute shit. He knew Louis getting into college was a huge deal for him. He knew that Louis might not be able to go to college without scholarships. And he knew Louis was gunning for several drama scholarships. And Harry had gone and said that hateful, hateful comment. And he wanted to kick himself for it. Mostly though, he wanted to apologize. But where would he even begin? He just wanted to show Louis that he was so, so sorry for saying what he did. But he thought back to what Zayn had said. About how Harry just needed to let it go. His father’s voice came through the back of his head, reminding him to follow his own beliefs. And what Harry believed was that love always won. Always and no matter what.

Whatever was to happen, Harry knew what he needed to do. He needed to apologize to Louis, and he needed to be a friend to Louis. He had rushed things far too fast and had spooked him. Harry was too overcome by his own feelings to consider what Louis may have been feeling. Instead, Harry was going to take things slowly and at Louis’ pace. He’d start by a smile, and maybe a hi, and then an apology. Then from there, he’d try to be his friend. Let him know that there was someone in his corner. And whatever would come after would come. But Harry needed to accept that maybe the only type of love he could have with Louis Tomlinson would be friendship. He was determined to patch this up and show Louis how sorry he was. And he was determined to show Louis that he wasn’t going to abandon him like everyone else in his life. He was going to show Louis he wasn’t going to hurt him...if only he hadn’t done just that yesterday.

At his table, Mr. Winston began to cough. Harry snuck a glance back to Louis who was making a disgusted face as Mr. Winston proceeded to fall into a coughing fit. Harry watched Mr. Winston with raised brows.

“I’m um...I’m going to get some water. You two, stay put. And no talking!” Mr. Winston pointed at them sternly before getting up from his table and heading out the door of the library. They did follow his instructions, for a moment anyway.

“You slapped me,” Louis said out of nowhere. Harry couldn’t tell his tone of voice - was he angry, was he impressed, was he surprised? Harry gulped and looked towards the door. There was no sign of Mr. Winston, so he replied -

“You slapped me first.”

Louis was still looking straight ahead as he said, “You fucking deserved it for that comment.”

“I know I did,” Harry admitted, “What I said to you was pretty fucked up. I did deserve that. And I am sorry...for what I said. I shouldn’t have...I was just angry with you. I really didn’t mean it.”

“Hmm,” Louis sat up a little straighter in his seat, still not looking to Harry.

“I’m also sorry,” Harry started, checking for any signs of Mr. Winston, “for how I treated you. I did treat you as like sort of a project. I wanted to show you you’re cared for and I went about it wrong. I was going too much too fast and it freaked you out. I should have been a friend to you.”

Louis turned then, blue eyes icy, “I don’t want your friendship or anything else you have to offer.”

“Look,” Harry took a deep breath, pushing his hand through his hair, “I am so sorry, Louis. I don’t like us fighting.”

“Then stop speaking to me.”

“Can’t we just...can’t we just talk about this. About what happened yesterday?”

“There’s nothing to say.”

“I have a lot to say.”

“ _Of course you do!_ ” Louis sighed, throwing his head back and gripping the table top, “You _always_ have something to say. Well I don’t fucking want to hear it.”

Harry blinked, gripping the edge of the table in his hands, “Then how about you talk instead? Tell me where your head is.”

“My head is wishing you’d just shut the fuck up and leave me alone.”

Harry opened his mouth to object, but closed it with a nod. He’d screwed up in not listening to Louis in the past, seeing him as a personal project as opposed to someone with needs. If Louis needed to be left alone right now, Harry could leave him alone. Harry nodded once more before saying - 

“Alright. I’ll leave you alone, Lou. I...I am sorry,” Harry turned his attention back to his hangnail. From the corner of his eye, he saw Louis’ shoulders relax slightly. He thought maybe Louis would apologize too, but alas, just radio silence. Mr. Winston returned not a few minutes later, a mug of coffee from the teacher’s lounge in his hand.

The rest of detention crawled by. Finally, Mr. Winston dismissed them. Louis grabbed his backpack and scurried out the door before Harry could say anything. Not that he was going to say anything - not this time anyway. He was determined to make things right by Louis. He couldn’t push Louis. He needed to listen to what Louis needed. And Louis needed space, distance. He needed Harry to leave him alone. And that was what Harry was going to do.

The rest of the day went by without much hangup. Harry ate lunch with Niall at their usual table, filling him in on what all had happened and explaining that he was grounded and wouldn’t be available for phone calls or video games. 

“I can’t believe he slapped you!” Niall exclaimed, wide-eyed.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, “I just told you about five minutes worth of everything that’s happened since that, and _that’s_ what you took out of this?”

“Well…” Niall shrugged.

“Hopeless,” Harry tossed a baby carrot at Niall’s head. Niall laughed and ducked it.

“And you slapped him back?”

“Not one of my proudest moments,” Harry frowned.

Niall cackled, “Holy shit! It’s a wonder that you two didn’t just start fucking right there in the middle of the auditorium.”

“ _Jesus, Niall!_ ” Harry threw another carrot, harder this time.

“What?” Niall laughed, picking up the carrot from where it had landed on his t-shirt, and popping it into his mouth, “You have to admit, the tension between you two is something else!”

“There is no tension, Niall,” Harry shook his head, “Not like you’re thinking. Besides, I talked with my dad and gave it some thought. I was wrong when it came to Louis. I saw him as like a personal project. It became like, my mission, to show him that he’s cared about. And I wasn’t really listening to him or taking him into consideration.”

“What do you mean?” Niall asked, splitting apart an Oreo and licking out the cream.

“I mean I didn’t listen to him. I thought I could just recklessly love him and by magic, all would be fine. But it’s not fine. Like Zayn said, Louis has a lot of issues. No amount of love can fix that. And I was wrong in thinking it could. I do think love will always win. But I can’t just expect enough love will mend someone’s mental or emotional damage. Because it can’t. And I pushed too much too fast. It spooked him. And I know all the hateful things he said yesterday was an act to try to shove me away. And I need to listen. He wants me to leave him alone, I can do that."

Harry took a shaky breath and continued, "I need to be softer with him, Niall. I was too reckless. I need to be softer. I’ll wave to him and smile at him. I’ll ask him how his day is. Soft and slow is what Louis needs. And we’ll see what happens from there.”

“So you aren’t giving up then?”

“Yes and no,” Harry explained, “I’m not going to pursue Louis if he doesn’t want to be pursued. But I won’t just stop loving him and caring for him - I can’t. I just need to do it from a pace in which Louis is comfortable. I don’t want to push him and spook him again. It’s like Zayn said, what all Louis’ been through leaves scars. And I can’t try to erase those because I can’t. They’ll always be there.”

“I’m glad you aren’t giving up on him,” Niall reached across the table and squeezed Harry’s hand, “Zayn is a smart guy, but I don’t think it’s a hopeless situation. I saw how you and Louis were, Haz. He loves you. It’s not a hopeless situation at all. But you’re right about needing to slow down and take things more at his pace. Be a constant to him, Harry. I don’t think that boy’s had much constant in his life. Just be someone he can count on. So, play practice today huh?”

“What about it?”

“Should I come along? Bring a bowl of popcorn? I want to see another brawl.”

“Oh my god,” Harry giggled, burying his face in his hands, “Niall! It was not a brawl.”

They finished their lunches and carried on with the rest of their day. When it came time for play practice, Harry braced himself as he walked to the drama room. It was a regular practice day, a walk-through back in the drama room as opposed to the auditorium. When Harry got there, he found Louis was already there - talking to Liam. Harry sighed and set his backpack down on the floor. He felt rather out of place. Normally, he’d go over to Liam and Louis as if it were no big deal. But today was different. He stood back to the side, impatiently waiting for Mr. Winston to start up practice. 

“Harry!” Liam called and Harry winced. He wanted to go over and talk to Liam, but Louis was there and Harry felt very much lost. He wanted to go over there, but he didn’t want to intrude on Louis. He glanced to Louis as if asking for permission, and maybe he was. 

“C’mere!” Liam called, waving Harry over towards them. Louis shrunk in on himself, his face a tad pained, and he looked as though he would rather be literally anywhere else at that moment.

Harry took a deep breath and strode over to where Liam and Louis were standing, “Hey Liam,” Harry nodded to Liam before turning and gently saying, “Hi Louis.”

Louis made a snorting sound in the back of his throat as he stared down at the linoleum tile flooring. It was awkward, Harry couldn’t deny that. Maybe Niall had a point when he’d mentioned the tension between them. Just standing there, it was like a heavy, humid fog had befallen them. Harry rubbed the toe of his boot over the other boot awkwardly. He hated this so, so much. Whatever had happened yesterday, clearly wasn’t in the past just yet. Harry just knew Louis wanted to hit him again. Frankly, he couldn’t exactly blame him if he did.

“So,” Liam said brightly, “do you two really have detention every morning for the next week?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered, knowing Louis wouldn’t.

“That sucks, man,” Liam frowned apologetically, “Like really.”

“Yeah. Well, what can you do? We kind of brought it on ourselves.” And okay, that clearly was not the right thing to say. Because in that moment, Louis’ head snapped up and he fixed Harry with such an icy stare, it could freeze the Sahara. 

“What do you mean that we _brought this on ourselves?_ ” Louis asked bitingly.

“Just...that we sort of deserved getting detention for our behavior yesterday,” Harry swallowed thickly.

“You were the one who jumped in and started defending your new BFF.”

“I just didn’t think it was right of you to be treating Zayn like he’d done something wrong.”

“He’s a fucking traitor.”

“Stop that,” Harry shook his head, “Louis, the whole world isn’t out to get you. When are you going to realize that.”

“When are you going to realize that I want you out of my life?”

“When are _you_ going to realize that that’s not going to…” Harry stopped himself as Louis’ jaw dropped open slightly. What right did he have to say that? What right did he have to keep pushing this? Isn’t that what got him in trouble in the first place? He thought back to what he had said at lunch to Niall. Louis needed soft, not pushy. Harry needed to be soft for Louis.

Instead of finishing his sentence, Harry just closed his mouth and nodded once to Louis before turning back to Liam, “So, any more progress on the Zayn front?”

Liam looked to Louis for a moment before answering, “Not much, no. We text sometimes, but I always feel like we’re right at the cusp of something, but neither of us are willing to take that further step. It doesn’t help that we’re both sort of shy in that regard. I just don’t know. I really, really want this to work, Harry. I just don’t know…”

“It will,” Harry encouraged, “I think you two need to hang out again though. Outside of school.”

“I can’t…” Liam shook his head, “Not with just the two of us.”

“Well…” Harry bit his lower lip, the wheels turning in his head, “If Louis would be okay with it, I think we should all do something together. I mean, he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to. But I know Niall wants to hang out again soon. It’d be fun.”

“So what?” Louis turned to Harry, his voice sharp and cutting again, “You’re just going to take all my friends?”

“Stop that,” Harry let out a frustrated sigh, “You can be there too. And I get it. You want your distance from me. That’s fine. But you can’t deny that the five of us got along really well. I want the five of us to continue being friends, Louis. And if you will join us, I think you and I can tolerate each other for a short time. I promise, I won’t do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Or angry with me.”

Louis rolled his eyes, “Already hate you,” Louis said, something light in his voice, “so there goes that second thing. But if you promise not to do anything that will make me hate you more, then I will consider it.”

“Done,” Harry vowed, just thankful that Louis was even agreeing to this in the first place, “How about tomorrow after school and after practice, we go catch a movie or something at the mall. We can grab dinner at the food court and all go see Deadpool or something. And maybe you can get Zayn off by yourself a bit. Flirt a little,” Harry gave Liam a playful nudge, “Make him feel a bit special. Zayn seems like the type to need to be romanced, right?” Harry turned to Louis and raised a brow.

Louis nodded, looking as if agreeing with Harry was causing him some sort of physical ailment, “Yeah. H is right. Just um...we’ll all be there together. So pay him some extra attention. Make him know that he’s the one you notice out of all of us.”

“Alright,” Liam nodded, taking in their words, “I’ll um...I’ll ask him tonight when we text. And I’ll let you two know the showtimes. I hope you’re right about this.”

“Of course we’re right,” Louis said, sounding affronted and it took Harry slightly by surprise, “Though I suppose I have to forgive Z between now and tomorrow night. Wouldn’t want there to be bad blood between me and _another_ person tomorrow. That’d spoil the fun.”

Harry sighed but didn’t protest. Finally, Mr. Winston called practice together. Like yesterday, Harry and Louis got through their parts. There was no denying that at least in the moment, they could both be professional. And professional was what Harry told himself Louis was being each time Louis looked at him intensely. He was a damn good actor. That’s all those looks of longing were - acting. And Harry could accept that, he could. 

After practice finished up, Harry found himself walking out of the drama room with Liam and Louis. Once in the parking lot, Liam bid them both goodbye and headed to his car. To Harry’s surprise, Louis fell into step with him as they walked towards Harry’s bike. Harry glanced at Louis out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t know really what to say. Things seemed, strained, but not at odds like they had been. Harry didn’t want to say or do anything that might push them back to that brink.

“So I have a lot of ass-kissing to do, but Z loves me so it shouldn’t be too bad. Besides, he can never stay mad at me for too long.”

Harry wanted to ask, “Why are you telling me this?” But chose against it.

“I tend to have that effect on people,” Louis continued, shrugging brightly as he continued to walk with Harry, “I’m _much_ too charming to stay mad at.”

“What about me?” Harry asked gently, “Am I too charming to stay mad at too?”

“Harold, you’re a whole other level of charming,” Louis sounded annoyed as he said it, but the soft smile playing on his lips seemed to say otherwise, “But I still can’t stand your face.”

“Fair enough,” Harry shrugged, not going to fight Louis anymore. Besides, some of the thick tension that surrounded them earlier seemed to have lifted just a tad.

“Nothing to argue?” Louis asked, taken back.

“Tired of arguing with you,” Harry shrugged again, “Tired of fighting. I don’t know what exactly happened, but I know I freaked you out. You were right. I made you into a project and it wasn’t right. Treating you the way I did, it took away from the genuineness of it. It wasn’t this pure thing. I did see you as a challenge I didn’t want to back down from. And I’m sorry for that. I get it. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who made me into a project either. Someone who pushed me and tried to force me to love them back. So I’m just done. It wasn’t right of me to start with. So in short, I’m done arguing. I’m done fighting. And I am sorry. Those comments I made yesterday weren’t right.”

“Stop.” Louis rolled his eyes, “You’re talking as if you don’t still have a red mark on your cheek.”

“So do you,” Harry pointed a finger at Louis’ cheek where a soft pink mark still showed.

“I don’t do apologies,” Louis said bluntly, stopping in his tracks and reaching out to grab the hem of Harry’s t-shirt to stop him too.

“Okay,” Harry nodded gently, stopping and facing Louis. The parking lot was mostly empty by this time, save for a few cars that belonged to the teachers and staff. Suddenly in that moment, Harry felt very much alone with Louis. And he became very much aware of the fact that they were the only two in the parking lot. Maybe the world. Harry couldn’t tell the difference.

“But...” Louis reached up, cupping Harry’s cheek with his tiny hand. He didn’t finish his sentence, instead, he ran a thumb over the pink of Harry’s cheek before dropping his hand suddenly and shrugging. Harry’s head spun, trying to process what Louis had just done.

“I know,” Harry said, “And me too,” Harry reached up and did the same to Louis’ cheek. 

“You’ve got fucking _paws_ , you mammoth,” Louis pulled away from Harry’s hand, shaking his head, “A regular Sasquatch.”

“Heey,” Harry pouted.

“If you can’t tell - I mean, I know you’re a bit slow at times, Harold - I’m trying to make things...not right, but okay. I don’t want things to be bad between us tomorrow night. Our friends clearly want to have a fun time and I don’t want to fuck with that for them. So I’m just...I’m trying here. I’m not ready to be your friend. I don’t know what I want with you one day. But right now, I just...I don’t think hating you is in our friends’ best interest. And I always put my friends first, Harold. It’s called loyalty and I don’t take it lightly. So...I just don’t want us to be bitchy to each other and ruin their time tomorrow.”

“I get it,” Harry nodded, “I do.”

“Good,” Louis continued to walk towards Harry’s bike, and Harry fell into step with him, “Just make no mistakes, Harold. I’m not your friend. And I don’t know if I ever will be. But, I’m not your enemy either. Or at least, _worst_ enemy.”

“Fair enough.”

They reached Harry’s bike and Harry unlocked the small metal trunk to take out his helmet.

“Though I’m not above making your life a living hell if you push me enough,” Louis added as Harry replaced the helmet with his backpack and began to snap the helmet on under his chin.

“Of course.”

“Your helmet makes you look like a fucking dork, you do know that, right?” Louis asked, stepping forward. He was close enough to Harry that he had to tilt his head back to look directly at him. Harry rolled his eyes and looked down at Louis.

“Safety isn’t dorky.”

“God,” Louis scrunched up his nose, “You sound like a cheesy public safety ad from the 90s.”

“ _The more you know,_ ” Harry sang.

“Christ, you are a dork!”

“Don’t forget your ID tomorrow night,” Harry quirked a brow, “Deadpool’s rated R and they’d never let you in, munchkin.”

“Bastard!” Louis squeaked.

Harry laughed, “See you tomorrow, Lou.”

Louis scrunched his nose at the nickname, “Whatever, Harold,” Louis shook his head, walking backwards away from Harry’s parking spot.

Harry laughed again and adjusted the helmet on his head. Before getting on his bike, he turned to Louis who was still walking backwards and called to him, “Lou!”

“What?” Louis asked.

“I’m going to be soft with you,” Harry promised.

Louis’ brow furrowed and he tilted his head to the side, laughing a little, “What does that mean?” He asked, spreading his arms open wide. 

Harry just smiled before turning around and swinging his leg over his bike. As he pulled out of the parking spot, Louis was still standing off to the side. His brows were still pinched in confusion, but he was watching Harry with something soft that could easily be mistaken for a smile on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely speechless at the wonderful comments you guys are leaving. It honestly blows my mind. Thank you so, so much for being so kind! I am so happy you love this story! And I hope you love the new update! :)

“You’re asking me what now?” Des asked that evening when Harry had gotten home. 

“I know I’m grounded, Dad, but the guys really want to go to the movies tomorrow and I think it’d be good for us to all hang out together as friends. I think it’d be a good step towards mending things with Louis. I know I’m like, on lockdown, but I promise if you let me go tomorrow I’ll...I’ll do something to make it up to you. I’ll mow the whole lawn this weekend! Front and back!”

Des raised a brow, “Harry, if I let you mow the whole lawn this weekend, I’ll end up with a bigger mess than how the yard looks as it is.”

Harry frowned, “You’re probably right.”

“I know I am,” Des smirked, “Remember when you tried to help with the weeding last year? You took out your mother’s begonias.” 

“I still feel bad for those poor begonias,” Harry muttered. It hadn’t been their fault that he was shit when it came to yard work.

“You know being grounded means no going out, right?” Des asked, “Like, that’s kind of the point of punishment, Harry. That it’s not fun.”

“I know,” Harry sighed, “You’re right. I just thought it’d be worth asking.” He knew his dad probably wouldn’t budge. He’d been too excited at school to with Liam and Louis to remember that he was technically grounded. It hadn’t even crossed his mind until about halfway home. He’d just have to tell the guys to go on without him. There would be other chances to all hang out together again. Right? It wasn’t the total end of the world, Harry tried to tell himself. But he did feel a tad as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

Des sighed and pushed his laptop to the side of his desk, making room to prop his arms up on the desk and focus on Harry, “How did it go today with him?”

Harry begrudgingly lifted a shoulder, “It’s hard to tell. Like I swore he hated me and never wanted to see me again, but he seemed to like the idea of us all going out tomorrow. And he followed me to the bike and he was like...flirty?” Harry squinted, trying to process everything still.

“Hmm,” Des nodded slowly, “And practice? Were you two both professionals? No more fighting?”

“The stage is the one place where we actually seem to work,” Harry admitted, shifting his weight slightly. He didn’t really want to talk about this anymore. He wanted to disappear up to his room to focus on his English assignment and vocabulary homework for History - anything to take his mind off the whirlwind that was Louis Tomlinson, and the disappointment in the pit of his gut at not being able to go out tomorrow.

“And tell me again what the plan for tomorrow night was?”

“We were going to go to the mall,” Harry explained, “And we were going to all grab dinner at the food court and then go see Deadpool together. It’s mostly to give Liam and Zayn the chance to sort of be together without having to be alone. They’re both a bit shy. Louis and I were going to try to help them.”

“You and Louis?” Des raised a brow, “So you _are_ on okay terms then?”

“I don’t know,” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, “It’s complicated. _He’s_ complicated!”

Des folded his hands on his desk before saying, “Harry, I want you to listen to me, okay? I’m going to let you go tomorrow night. Only because I think it’d be good for you. And not letting you might do more harm than good. However, if you want to go tomorrow night, that means that that’s it until your grounding is up. No more exceptions. And on Saturday, I want you to clean out the garage, okay? That can make up for tomorrow night.”

“A-are you serious?” Harry asked, his eyes wide.

“I’m serious,” Des smiled, “Now get out of here and go upstairs and work on your homework before I change my mind.”

Harry let out a little yelp of excitement before scurrying upstairs. He knew cleaning out the garage would be a hot, sticky, long chore. But he didn’t really care at the moment. He would clean out a dozen garages if it meant getting to hang out with his friends, getting to hang out with Louis.

Harry tried to focus on his homework as best he could, but it was difficult. He was much too excited for tomorrow. Hell, he was even looking forward to detention. He wasn’t too sure if Louis would still be cross with him tomorrow. He wasn’t exactly betting on a quick mending of friendship here. But if today was any inclination, they were on the right path towards that. Harry just needed to be soft for Louis. And he would be. He needed to be.

The next day, Harry got to the library just as Mr. Winston was getting settled at his same table from yesterday. Harry greeted him and sat down at the table he’d sat at yesterday. He wasn’t sure if Louis would come again. He wasn’t sure of anything when it came to Louis Tomlinson, except for his feelings for him. Harry sat with his arms folded across his chest as he watched the clock. With one minute to spare, the library door clattered open and Louis sauntered in. He had a McGriddle in one hand and a hashbrown in the other.

“Good of you to join us,” Mr. Winston said without looking up from his papers he was grading.

Louis just shrugged. He walked towards the tables and as he passed by Harry, he dropped the hashbrown in front of him. Harry looked up, brows furrowed as Louis meandered over to the same table he’d sat at yesterday - the table furthest from Harry.

Harry lifted the hashbrown and gave it a small sniff. It didn’t seem tainted by anything. In fact, it smelled delicious - all hot, greasy, salty potato. Harry’s mouth watered. McDonald’s hashbrowns were one of the few delicacies of the world and Harry really, really liked them even if he rarely at them. Louis was tossing his backpack on the table top and propping his legs up on the chair in front of him. Harry caught his eye and mouthed, _‘Thank you.’_

Louis just shrugged and stuffed the rest of his McGriddle into his mouth - all in one bite. Harry took a nibble of his hashbrown - a little mouse-bite. It wasn’t tainted, at least not that Harry could tell. It tasted delicious. But what did it mean? Christ, he felt a bit ridiculous sitting in morning detention analyzing the intent behind a McDonald’s hashbrown. 

He took another bite and decided not to fret over it too much. If it was laced with arsenic and he’d pass out and die, well so be it. 

Not long into detention, and Harry started taking notice more of Louis. He had a piece of notebook paper on his lap and he was intricately folding it under the table, out of sight from Mr. Winston. It caught Harry’s curiosity, and he watched as Louis continued to fold and crease the paper with gentle care. The piece of paper magically turned into a small paper crane on Louis’ knee. Harry raised his brow in surprise. He didn’t know Louis knew how to make things like that - didn’t know Louis knew how to appreciate things like that. It stirred something inside Harry. 

Louis lifted the little crane from his knee and set it on top of his backpack, admiring it a little. He seemed rather proud of himself and Harry couldn’t blame him. It was a beautiful little crane. And Louis had made it! Harry was maybe a little bit in love with that paper crane.

Finally, Mr. Winston dismissed them. Harry grabbed his backpack and watched as Louis took the paper crane and was about to stuff it into the small pocket of his backpack.

“Don’t!” Harry said, before could stop himself.

“What?” Louis asked, turning to look at Harry.

“You’ll crush it,” Harry said sadly.

Louis furrowed his brows at Harry, staring at him as though Harry confused him - which Harry thought was quite ironic really.

“I-I just don’t want it to get crushed,” Harry explained.

“What does it matter? It’s just a paper crane? I can make a dozen others just like it. Better than it even,” Louis said haughtily.

Harry shook his head and reached out for the crane, “But you were so careful making this one.”

“It’s origami, Styles. You have to be careful or else you’ll fuck it up.”

“Where did you learn to make this?” Harry asked, cradling the tiny paper crane in his palm.

“Zayn,” Louis explained, tossing his backpack onto his shoulder, “He likes that sort of shit. He can make a lot of other things too - lotus flowers and these little froggies that hop when you press on their backs. I can’t make those. I can just make these birds.”

“I like these birds,” Harry said, slightly defensively as he and Louis fell into step as they headed out of the library, “I think they’re pretty.”

Louis scrunched up his nose, “You’re blind then, Styles. Look, I fucked up the left wing. It’s a bit bent there. And the beak is a tad shoddy. Zayn can do better.”

“Well I like it,” Harry said, holding the crane protectively to his chest, “I think it’s pretty.”

“You would,” Louis snorted.

“Besides,” Harry ventured on uncharted waters, saying, “you made it.”

Louis let out a breath through his nose but didn’t argue or protest much as Harry had anticipated. 

“Are you still coming tonight?” Harry asked gently.

“Sure,” Louis shrugged, his shoulder jostling slightly against Harry’s as he did, “It’s for Zayn and Liam, right? Wouldn’t miss it.”

“I’m technically grounded,” Harry said, trying to fill the empty space between them with his words, “but my dad said I could go. I just have to clean out the garage on Saturday to make up for it.”

“Ew,” Louis wrinkled his nose.

Harry shrugged, “I don’t mind. It means getting to go to the movies with you guys.”

“Sap,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Thanks for the hashbrown by the way,” Harry said as they approached his locker.

“I dropped it in a puddle on the way here,” Louis smirked, leaning against the locker next to Harry’s as Harry began to do the combination.

“Is that why it was so hot and fresh and perfect then?” Harry smirked.

Louis rolled his eyes, “Alright, well I _thought_ about dropping it in a puddle on the way here and it’s the thought that counts, Styles.”

“Whatever you say, Tomlinson,” Harry placed the paper crane gently onto of his History book as he grabbed his notebook for English, “I think you’re being nice to me.”

Louis gasped, placing a hand to his chest, “Why Harold! I’m offended that you’d even _think_ such a thing!”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh as he slammed his locker door shut, “My mistake.”

“Damn right,” Louis nodded curtly, “Oh! Tell Nialler that he’s coming to play practice today. Payno has his mom’s van - which I am totally going to drag him about all day - and we’re all going to ride together to the mall. The movie is at eight. We’ll grab dinner and then see that showing.”

“Alright,” Harry nodded, “I’ll let Niall know the plan.”

“You should see it,” Louis practically doubled over, “It’s maroon and actually has one of those stick family stickers on the back window! It’s a total embarrassment. And Payno gets to drive around in it all day!”

“And why is Liam driving that today?”

“So we can all drive in one vehicle tonight, _duh!_ He had like this whole crisis last night. Called me up and everything. Apparently he wanted to drive with Zayn but didn’t want to make things weird or awkward or leave the two of us with Niall. He said he didn’t want Niall to be subjected to a murder scene.”

“We aren’t that bad,” Harry frowned.

“Oh we are,” Louis smirked, “Did I mention that Karen Payne has a bumper sticker that says, _‘I brake for Tom Jones’_ on the back?”

“Oh my God,” Harry couldn’t help but giggle. And then, as if by magic, he heard a familiar sound beside him - the sound of Louis giggling too. They were giggling so hard that they ended up bumping into each other, and Louis hip-checked Harry.

“Watch it, Tomlinson,” Harry laughed, wiping at his eye with his knuckle, “People might mistake us for friends.”

Louis stopped in his tracks, “Hmm, you’re right!” He suddenly kicked Harry hard in the shin.

“ _Ow!_ ” Harry cried out, and Louis laughed as he began to dart off down the hallway, “What the hell, Louis?” Harry shouted after him.

“Had to set people right, didn’t I?” Louis shrugged, smiling brightly, “Not friends.”

He darted off around the corner and Harry knew he should get to his English class, but instead he took off after Louis before he could convince himself otherwise. When Louis realized that Harry was chasing after him down the empty back hallway, he let out a little squeal and picked up his pace.

Harry’s legs were longer and it was very easy to catch up to Louis. The back hallway was never used for anything other than back entrances to the science labs. No one else was around and Harry didn’t feel the slightest reservation about wrapping his arms around Louis’ middle.

“Got you,” he growled into Louis’ ear.

Louis was squirming in his arms, “What are you going to do about it?” Louis asked huffily.

Harry furrowed his brow. Prior to everything, he would have probably kissed Louis. But that was before everything. Harry needed to be soft. Harry needed to do things at Louis’ pace. He needed to keep things gentle and soft and tender and not force Louis or back him into anything he wasn’t ready for or wanted. So Harry dropped his arms, stepping back, and letting Louis free.

Harry shrugged, “Nothing,” he said.

Louis’ brows furrowed, “Why?” He asked suspiciously.

“Because,” Harry explained, “I promised soft.”

“Again,” Louis laughed lightly, “What does that even _mean?_ ”

“It means that I’m done trying to push you into something, Louis. I’m done making a project out of you. I care about you. And I know you’ve been hurt before. And I know the reason you lashed out at me was because I freaked you out. You pushed away because you were worried I’d hurt you. Well I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to keep caring about you. But I’m not going to be pushy or see you as a challenge. What you need is softness.”

“I don’t understand,” Louis leaned against the cinderblock wall.

“It’s like your paper cranes,” Harry tried to explain, “When you make the folds, you have to be so gentle, right? Or else you’ll tear the paper? I’m going to be gentle with you Louis. I’m going to show you that I’m not going to tear you.”

“You’re such a fucking sap,” Louis huffed, but his eyes were soft and there was something unreadable in them.

“I am,” Harry nodded confidently, “Never said I wasn’t.”

“So you’re going to be soft with me?” Louis asked. Harry nodded. “Even when I kick you?” Harry nodded again. “Even when I pinch you or punch you?” Harry nodded again. “Even when I am an ass to you?”

Harry took a breath and nodded again, “Always soft with you,” he said.

“What if I don’t want that?” Louis’ chin jutted out, “What if I want to go back to wanting you out of my life forever and always?”

“Tell me that to my face, looking me in the eye, and I’ll do as you say. But I don’t think you can tell me you never want to see me again to my face. Not in earnest anyway.”

Louis frowned, “I don’t want to ever see you look at me with pity again, Styles.”

“Am I looking at you with pity?” Harry asked, lifting Louis’ chin so he could meet his gaze.

Louis shook his head lightly, chin still resting on Harry’s fingertips, “No,” he whispered, “You aren’t.”

“And I never will again. Compassion and pity aren’t the same thing. I was wrong. I mixed them up. Pity is something used to lift yourself up. Compassion is something used to lift others up. I’ll show you compassion, Louis. But I’ll never show you pity again.”

“I’m not ready for you,” Louis said softly, his voice a feather of a thing.

“That’s fine. Whatever you need, Lou.”

“Why do you care about me so much?” Louis asked, shaking his head, “I’m nothing.”

“You’re everything,” Harry argued, running the pad of his thumb over Louis’ scar on his cheek.

“You’re full of shit,” Louis rolled his eyes, but there was no harshness to his tone.

“Tell me to leave and I’ll leave. Tell me you really want me gone from your life and I'll be gone. I’ll give you whatever you want, Louis. You could ask for the moon on the string and I would be doing everything I could to give you that. If you want me gone from your life, I’ll give you that too.”

Louis’ gaze dropped to the tile floor, his eyelashes kissing his cheeks.

“What do you want, Lou?” Harry pressed softly.

“I don’t want that,” Louis whispered.

“Okay,” Harry nodded, “Okay then. What do you want?”

“Time,” Louis mumbled, still looking intently at a scuff on the white tile, “Time to figure my head out. Time to just...figure _me_ out. Patience mostly. Patience with me when I’m being a brat or when I’m just being mean. Patience when I’m trying to shove you away. And understanding that I don’t really mean it.”

“Did you mean it the other day?” Harry asked, “At the river?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, still not meeting Harry’s gaze, “I didn’t.”

“You were trying to protect yourself in the long run, right? Thinking I’d hurt you one day so you were going to do it quick like a band-aid? Make it hurt now instead of later, right?”

Louis nodded, and Harry could hear a soft sniffle come from him.

“Do you like me?” Harry asked, voice shaking and soft. Everything felt suspended on air in that moment. Like everything could break and shatter with one wrong breath.

Louis nodded again.

“Okay,” Harry spoke slowly.

“I just…” Louis sighed again, “...I don’t know what to do with you. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Come here,” Harry held out his arms. Louis turned and looked at him suspiciously. “Soft, remember?” Harry reminded him. Louis nodded and allowed himself to be embraced by Harry. They stood there together in the empty hallway, Harry holding onto Louis. And it took a moment, but a tiny fist came up and balled into the front of Harry’s t-shirt. And Harry could feel something that sounded like soft little sobs coming from Louis. Louis buried his face against Harry’s chest and Harry placed a gentle hand on the center of Louis’ back. He rubbed soft circles against Louis’ spine as Louis continued to cry into Harry’s shirt.

“Soft,” Louis whispered.

“I’ve got you until you tell me to let go,” Harry said, continuing to hold Louis in his arms.

“Don’t let go,” Louis plead, mouth wet against the already cool dampness of Harry’s shirt.

“I won’t.”

“No matter what, Harold. You better not fucking let go.”

“I won’t,” Harry promised again, “Never.”

They held one another in the middle of the hallway until Louis finally pulled back from Harry’s arms. He lifted a small fist to wipe at the tears on his cheeks.

“I’m not ready for you,” Louis said.

“That’s fine,” Harry told him. He didn’t say he could wait for eternity, he didn’t have to.

“I’m going to still be a pain in your ass, Harold.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“And I’m going to still...still make things difficult for you.”

“Of course,” Harry smiled softly as Louis sniffled.

“But maybe one day, once I figure me out, I’ll be ready for you.”

“And I’ll be here.”

“Good,” Louis nodded curtly, wiping his nose, “Glad that’s settled.” His voice was back to it’s usual, light self. But there was still that hint of huskiness to it, the hint that he’d been crying.

“All sorted then,” Harry lifted a knuckle to the corner of his own eye.

“Yup,” Louis nodded again, “Good.”

“Right.”

“Harry…” Louis’ voice was suddenly soft all over again.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Harry asked.

“No matter what, right?”

“No matter what,” Harry promised.

“I won’t make it easy on you.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you did,” Harry couldn’t help but laugh wetly at that.

Louis smiled before rushing back over to Harry, and standing up on his tiptoes, to press a wet kiss to Harry’s cheek. Harry’s eyes nearly dropped from their sockets as Louis bounced back down to the pads of his feet.

The look on his face as he stared at Harry, Harry could only describe as the utmost fond. His eyes were crinkly and soft and his smile could split his face in two. Suddenly, as quickly as the sweet moment had come, it ended with a sharp pinch of Louis’ fingers on Harry’s left nipple.

Harry let out a cry and doubled over as Louis laughed happily and skipped down the hallway.

Harry clutched a protective hand over his throbbing nipple, watching as a tiny, laughing Louis bounded off down the hall. 

Harry wasn’t going to chase him this time. He didn’t have to. 

They were going to be okay.

\--

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Harry filled Niall in at lunch about their movie plans. He didn’t tell Niall about what had happened in the abandoned hallway. He didn’t want to. Whatever that moment had been, it wasn’t for anyone else to know or be a part of. It was just theirs.

After the final bell of the day rang, Niall met with Harry at his locker and together, they walked to the drama room. Harry would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit nervous. He didn’t know where things stood exactly with Louis after that morning. All he really knew was that this morning had been something important - something that needed to be protected like a paper crane. When they did get to the drama room, Zayn, Liam, and Louis were already there. Liam was talking to Zayn who was sitting on top of the gray bleachers that were pressed up against one wall.

“I’ll go sit with Zayn,” Niall clapped Harry on the back, “Can’t wait to see you in action!”

“I’m nothing fantastic, Niall,” Harry warned, “Really.”

“ _Harold!_ ” Louis scolded sharply, his voice cutting through the drama room like the snap of a whip, “I don’t share the stage with shitty actors,” Louis huffed.

“That a compliment, Tomlinson?” Harry challenged.

Louis let out a laugh, “Please. Like I would give you a compliment. It’d go right to that massive head of yours. The last thing anyone needs around here is you getting any bigger than you are.”

“Everything looks big when you’re a munchkin,” Harry quipped easily.

Louis’ mouth dropped slightly, “Bastard!” Louis squeaked.

“Tiny!” Harry replied, mimicking Louis’ voice.

“Is this when they slap each other?” Niall asked from the bleachers.

“Hush, you!” Louis pointed at Niall before turning back to Harry, “Like I would ever strike my light through yonder window.”

“And what do you call what happened the other day?” Harry quirked a brow.

“Shitty circumstances,” Louis shrugged casually.

“You kicked me this morning,” Harry reminded, “I’ve got a bruise smarting on my shin.”

“I’ll kick the other one if you make another munchkin comment,” Louis threatened.

“Alrighty then!” Mr. Winston strolled into the drama room, “Are we ready to begin practice? I want to try something a bit different today though. While you all perform very well onstage, offstage is a different story. I want us to sort of take a step back from the play a bit. At least just for today. Instead, I want us to do some improv exercises. How does that sound?”

“Ooh,” Louis rubbed his hands together excitedly, “I’m excellent at improv!”

“How this is going to work,” Mr. Winston explained, “Is that you can either come up individually or in groups. There’ll be two hats up here. One will be for singular improv, and the other will be for a group improv. You’ll act out the scene on your paper. The audience, who will be sitting in the bleachers, will have to guess what was written on your paper. Shall we begin?”

Everyone went to take a seat on the bleachers. Eleanor and another girl from the chorus, who Harry didn’t quite know too well yet, chose a group improv. They acted out a scene in which a lady was trying to return a pineapple to a department store. After a few more goes, Harry finally decided he wanted a shot. Might as well, right? He got up but not before dragging Liam and Niall up with him.

“I know Niall isn’t in the play, Mr. Winston, but I want him to have a chance too.”

“Very well,” Mr. Winston agreed, “Pick from the group hat then.”

Harry reached his hand in and withdrew a folded piece of paper. On it was written, _‘Chorus from a Musical.’_ Right away, Harry knew just what he wanted to do. He set the paper aside and whispered with Liam and Niall for a moment.

“He’s going to kill you,” Liam laughed.

“Probably,” Harry shrugged, grinning, “It’ll be worth it though.”

Niall solemnly folded his hands together, muttering, “Rest in peace, Harry’s Other Shin.”

Harry, Liam, and Niall lined up before they began singing, “We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild…”

Harry looked right to Louis to see him double over with laughter so hard that he had to bury his face in his hands. Maybe Harry would get kicked in the other shin for this, but making Louis laugh like that was worth another bruised shin.

\--

“Asshole!” Louis shoved at Harry as the five of them headed out of the drama room. Practice was finally over. Mr. Winston had to cut things short when some of the improvs got a bit too suggestive for his tastes, and now they were finally free to head to the mall for their dinner and movie...whatever it was. It couldn’t be a date. Not really. 

“What?” Harry laughed, shoving him back, “ _I had to!_ You really couldn't have expected me to just not make another munchkin comment.”

“I’ve been wearing off on you,” Louis shook his head, “You’re becoming a little shit.”

“Maybe I just have an appreciation for Judy Garland movies,” Harry shrugged innocently.

Louis jabbed him in the side, making him yelp, “You have an appreciation for being full of shit, more like,” Louis rolled his eyes, laughing.

“Alright you two,” Liam held up a hand, “As much as it’s good to see you two not trying to murder each other, we should go over some ground rules. It’s great that you two aren’t at each other’s throats, but just in case that were to change, I don’t think my mom would allow bloodshed in her minivan.”

“You mean I can’t go all Jigsaw on Harold here?” Louis frowned, “What a buzzkill.”

“Heey,” Harry pouted, jabbing Louis in the stomach, making him squeak.

“So I think it’s best if Zayn rides up front with me and Niall rides between the two of you.”

“Wait just a moment...” Niall began to protest.

“Sorry, Niall,” Liam shrugged, “Rules are rules.”

“Terrific,” Niall grumbled as they walked through the parking lot to Karen Payne’s minivan.

“See,” Louis pointed to the Tom Jones bumper sticker, “What did I tell you?”

Harry giggled, “You weren’t kidding.”

“So...do you two like...like each other again?” Niall asked as they five of them climbed into the van.

“What?” Louis scoffed, doing up his seatbelt, “Nialler, what a _ridiculous_ thing to suggest. Harold knows I hate him with every fiber of my being. Right, Harold.”

“Absolutely,” Harry nodded and both Louis and Harry burst into a fit of giggles.

“I’m lost,” Niall said.

“Careful back there,” Zayn twisted around in his seat to face Niall, “spend enough time with those two, and you’re bound to go a bit batshit too.”

“Heey,” both Harry and Louis pouted in unison, making Zayn laugh.

The ride to the mall was spent with Zayn flicking through the radio, Louis trying to give Niall as many wet willies as possible, Harry laughing into his hand, and Liam blindly reaching back to smack at the three of them. 

As they neared the mall, Harry’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He checked it to find a text from Zayn asking, _‘what’s going on between you and Lou?’_

Harry quickly typed back, _‘i’ll update you when you when we figure that out ourselves.’_

Zayn replied, _‘just be careful. glad to see you two getting along again though. he’s been broody these last few days. good to see him smiley again.’_

Harry pocketed his phone and leaned across Niall to poke Louis in the thigh.

“What?” Louis asked.

“Hi,” Harry smiled at him.

Louis’ brows furrowed a tad before he smiled and said, “Hi yourself, Harold.”

When they got to the mall, Liam parked the van and they headed inside towards the food court. There was a bit of debate about what was to be eaten - Louis was insistent on Chinese and Niall swore if he didn’t get a cheesesteak, he’d throw a fit - before Liam reminded everyone that this was a food court, and everyone could get whatever they wanted.

“I think Mexican sounds good to me,” Zayn suggested.

“Oh, me too,” Liam began to trail after Zayn. Louis laughed as he watched them go off together.

“You two,” he said to Harry and Niall, “be sure to let those two have some time alone tonight. Remember, this is a date for them.”

“Right,” Niall nodded, “They’re so cute. All shy and everything.”

“ _Cute,_ ” Louis scoffed, “They’re a pain in the ass. Too shy to do anything on their own so I have to help them. It’ll be worth it though,” Louis mused as the trio headed towards the other section of the food court, “if it helps them get together.”

“Louis Tomlinson,” Niall smacked him in the arm, “Don’t tell me you’re a romantic.”

“I’m very romantic,” Louis shrugged, unashamed.

“Really?” Niall asked.

“Yeah,” Louis shrugged again, “I mean, don’t go telling anyone because I do have a reputation to keep, but I am a romantic. I like baking cookies and watching Titanic and boys who make me laugh and a paper cranes kind of love.”

Harry had to duck his head to the side to hide the fact that his eyes were moist with tears. He felt as though his heart had been replaced with a bright, hot starburst.

“What about you?” Louis hip-checked Harry, “What kind of boys do you like?”

“Boys who keep me on my toes,” Harry answered easily, “Boys who are all sharp curves and soft edges.”

“Those boys sound like trouble,” Louis quipped.

“They’re worth the trouble they cause,” Harry shrugged easily.

“Do you think they have cheese fries?” Niall asked excitedly.

They ate their dinner at a long table in the middle of the food court. Louis stoles fries off Harry’s plate and Harry happily ate the broccoli Louis didn’t want in his noodles. Zayn and Liam whispered to each other at the other side of the table. Every once in awhile, Zayn would giggle this breathy little giggle and Louis would gently shove into Harry, smiling knowingly. Harry couldn’t help but smile back. They weren’t half-bad at the match-making thing, they really weren’t. Harry just hoped maybe one day things could work out for them too. He hoped it wasn’t too selfish of a thought, but as he watched Louis playfully toss fries at Niall, he couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming sense of love for this boy. 

He thought back to that morning, that morning in the empty hallway. He thought of how Louis had cried against him, how he made him promise not to let go no matter how difficult Louis made things. Harry had promised he wasn’t going to let go. He’d never let go. Even if it took Louis forever, Harry could wait. It would be a pleasure to wait a lifetime for Louis Tomlinson. But a little thing called hope, buried deep within Harry’s chest, whispered - _maybe it won’t be that long after all._

After dinner, the five of them headed towards the movie theater in the mall. After purchasing their tickets, they headed to the concession stand because Niall insisted that even though they’d just eaten, he wanted popcorn and milkduds. After he got his snacks - which consisted of a large popcorn, three types of candy, and an Icee, they made their way towards the correct theater. Harry stole some popcorn off the top of Niall’s bag. 

Inside the theater, Niall scurried over to the very middle row. Liam and Zayn followed shortly behind.

“Where do you want to sit?” Harry turned to Louis.

In a hushed little voice, Louis whispered, “Next to you.”


	11. Chapter 11

The movie was hilarious, from what Harry gathered from Niall’s laughter. He, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly paying attention to what was going on onscreen. Instead, his attention was on the boy sitting next to him. During the previews, Louis kept his arms folded across his chest. However, as soon as the movie began, he shifted - his left arm pressed against Harry’s right. Louis’ touch was like a thousand teenie tiny electric shocks going up his arms. He coudn’t help the massive smile that was breaking out across his face. Louis was letting him in. It was a slow process, and Harry still had to be very careful with this boy. But Louis’ walls were slowly coming down. Or at the very least, he was building some windows.

About halfway during the movie, Harry felt a soft little nudge to his ankle with the toe of Louis’ beat up sneaker. He dimpled and nudged Louis back, hearing a soft little giggle from him. Which, okay. Harry bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud as Louis kicked him back. As payback, Harry poked his finger into Louis’ side, making him jump and let out a little squeak. Louis stuck his tongue out at Harry and Harry lifted up the armrest of his seat.

“C’mere,” he whispered.

Louis blushed a little, looking down at the sticky movie theater floor before scooting closer, tucking himself into Harry’s side. Harry reached up to gently run through the wispy hair at the back of Louis’ neck. Louis shivered against him, and Harry smiled, watching the rest of the movie play out onscreen, though his mind remind stuck on the beautiful, blushing boy next to him. 

“Cutie,” Harry whispered.

“Watch the movie, Harold,” Louis replied, with a sharp pinch to Harry’s nipple and a soft smile on his face. Harry snuggled Louis closer against him.

They stayed seated as the credits scrolled down the screen and people began to fan out of the theater. Liam’s arm had ended up wrapped around Zayn’s shoulders, and Louis was still tucked against Harry’s side. 

“That movie was awesome!” Niall dumped the remaining Milk Duds from their box right into his mouth, “What did you guys all think?”

“It was good,” Zayn nodded, “But Marvel always is.”

“I don’t want to go home yet,” Louis said quietly, burying his face into Harry’s shoulder.

“Well, we don’t have to,” Harry reached up and petted at Louis’ hair, “We could um...well...any ideas?”

“We could always go get food,” Niall suggested.

“Do you ever think of anything besides your stomach?” Zayn asked, reaching over to poke Niall in the tummy. 

“Not usually,” Niall giggled, batting Zayn’s hand away, “But really. There’s the diner not far from here. It’s open all night. Obviously we probably can’t be out all night, but they’d let us order some food and stay as long as we want. I’m not really ready to go home yet either.”

“Same,” Zayn turned to look up at Liam, winking at him. 

“Harry, that okay with your dad?” Niall asked, “I know you’re technically supposed to be grounded…”

“As long as I clean out the garage on Saturday, I can be out,” Harry answered, “So diner, then?”

They all headed out to the parking lot and piled back into Karen Payne’s minivan. Louis and Harry sat next to each other as Zayn chose shotgun next to Liam. Niall was on the other side of Harry, pressed up against the door. He didn’t seem to mind though. Harry noticed his sly smile each time he looked at Zayn and Liam, and then at Harry and Louis. Niall was the type to be happy as a lark so long as his friends were happy. Harry quite loved him for that fact. Niall would never feel like an extra wheel. He just enjoyed being around his friends, regardless.

As they were driving towards the diner, Louis pulled at Harry’s hand. He made Harry hold his hand up, before pressing his own palm against Harry’s. Harry’s hand absolutely engulfed Louis’ tiny one, and Harry instinctively folded his fingers down over the tips of Louis’.

“You and your mammoth paws,” Louis admonished fondly.

“I don’t think mammoths had paws,” Harry noted.

“Don’t care,” Louis shrugged casually, interlocking his fingers through Harry’s, “You’ve got mammoth paws.”

“That’s because you’re such a handful,” Harry mused.

Apparently that was what did it for Niall, because he suddenly made a retching sound, “Alright,” he said, holding up hand, “Try to keep the adorableness to a minimum at least when I’m pressed up against the two of you.”

“Did you hear that?” Louis smiled up at Harry, “We’re adorable.”

“Sickeningly so,” Niall elbowed Harry gently.

“Hey,” Harry elbowed him back, “Don’t act like you don’t have the fondest expression on your face right now, Horan.”

Niall laughed, “Alright. So maybe it is pretty good to see you happy.”

“Do I make you happy?” Louis asked softly.

“Always,” Harry replied easily.

“Even when I’m being difficult?” Louis’ voice was so feather-soft that it almost broke Harry’s heart to hear it.

“I said always, didn’t I?” Harry pulled Louis against him, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Louis let out a little ‘hmph’ before sayin, “Well Harold, if you insist upon knowing, you make me kind of happy too. But don’t ask me to tell you so again.”

Harry laughed, kissing Louis’ temple again, holding him tighter, “Of course not, sweetheart.”

“They have pet names,” Liam shook his head fondly.

“Well so do we, pup,” Zayn reminded him.

“When did that start?” Louis asked curiously.

“Just sort of happened one day I guess,” Liam shrugged, pulling into the parking lot of the diner, “I’m pup and he’s jaan. It means darling. He’s teaching me a few words here and there,” Liam explained, “I told him I wanted to learn.”

“Jaan,” Niall tasted the word on his tongue, “I like that.”

Zayn blushed and ducked his head, “He actually googled that himself,” he explained, “Called me it one day and mispronounced the shit out of it. I couldn’t help but laugh but of course, I told him how to say it correctly and I’ve been teaching him a few words and phrases here and there.”

“That’s cool,” Niall reached up to gently slug Liam on the shoulder.

“Harold has tons of pet names for me,” Louis preened, “I’m sweetheart and darling and love and baby. I have pet names for you too, don’t I, Harold?”

“Light through yonder window.”

“And Harold, obviously. And ‘you absolute bastard.’”

“Oh yes, that one,” Harry grinned “How could I forget.”

“I have another name for you too,” Louis pouted slightly, “but I only use that one when I’m referring to you to someone else.”

“And what’s that?” Harry asked, trying to not sound suspicious.

“Not telling,” Louis sat up, pulling away from Harry’s grasp, and smiling smugly.

“Tell me!” Harry insisted.

“Nope,” Louis grinned, popping the ‘p.’ 

“Louis!”

“What?” Louis laughed.

“He calls you ‘my boy.’”

“Zayn!” Louis reached up and smacked Zayn hard on the arm, “You _absolute traitor!_ ”

“Hey,” Zayn laughed, rubbing his arm, “It’s cute.”

“I hate you so much Zayn Benedict Arnold Malik.”

Zayn just held up his middle finger, still laughing.

Harry, on the other hand, was staring at Louis with his eyes wide. Did Louis really refer to him as ‘his boy’ when he was talking to other people? What did that even mean? Harry had a thousand questions on his mind, but he wasn’t sure how to even ask them.

Up until the moment they had shared in the hallway, Harry hadn’t thought Louis really wanted anything to do with him. But now here he was, calling him ‘his boy.’ Maybe what Harry had thought was true, maybe Louis did want to allow himself to open up and be close, but was just to scared to finally take his walls down. But there windows now, and maybe a door. It was improvement. Harry didn’t ask until they were parked at the diner and hopping out of the car. Liam and Zayn were walking next to each other, their hands brushing against each other’s but never actually touching. Niall was playing Neko Atsume on his phone, and Harry paused, reaching out to grab Louis’ hand in his.

“Am I your boy?” He asked, just soft enough for Louis to hear.

Louis rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and let out an impatient sigh, “Well _obviously_ , you absolute idiot! Who else is?”

Harry tried - and failed - to bite back a smile. Louis rolled his eyes again, “Don’t go getting all sappy about it though, Harold. If you start getting sappy, I may just have to punch you in the dick. Now c’mon. I’m hungry!” Louis darted up towards the entrance, his hand still entwined with Harry’s, tugging Harry along behind him. 

The diner - Maggie’s - was the typical 50’s theme diner. The books were all red vinyl and the flooring was black and white checkered. 50’s theme memorabilia hung off the walls collecting dust, and there was a jukebox off to one side that was currently playing ‘Lollipop.’ A little sign by the check-out counter read SEAT YOURSELF. Niall scurried over to the big round booth set up on a platform. Elvis pictures doned the walls behind the booth.

“I haven’t been here in forever,” he said excitedly, “They’ve got the best milkshakes!”

“I used to bring the girls here,” Louis mused, looking around the diner after sliding in next to Harry, “Back when I worked at the toy store last summer. When I’d get my paychecks, I’d get the girls from school and bring them here for cheese fries and shakes. They loved it.”

“We should do that sometime,” Harry nudged Louis gently, “I’d like to come with you.”

“Don’t have a job right now,” Louis shrugged.

“My treat?”

“You’d do that?” Louis blinked up at Harry as if he didn’t quite believe him.

“Of course,” Harry shrugged, “I’d love to. It’d be fun.”

“That...that sounds good,” Louis nodded, “I’d like to do that.”

“Just tell me when.”

A waitress came over and handed out sticky plastic menus, asking if she could take their drink orders. Once she left to go fetch the drinks, Louis leaned across the table, propping his elbows up on it and looking at Zayn with a wild look in his eye.

“Uh-oh,” Zayn smirked, “Someone’s up to something.”

“Of course I am,” Louis grinned, “You in, Malik?”

“You know it. What are we doing?”

Louis was grinning wickedly as he said, “You ever heard of John Mulaney?” Louis asked.

“No way!” Niall’s face lit up, “You are _not_ going to do what I think you’re going to do!”

“Of course I am, Nialler. It’d be a shame not to! Now then, everyone, put whatever change you have on you on the table.”

“What are you doing?” Harry asked suspiciously, “Niall, what is he doing?”

“You’ll see,” Louis sang excitedly, counting up the change on the table, “Perfect! Zaynie, come with me! If my math is right, we can buy ten songs with this! So I’m thinking, seven What’s new Pussycats, one It’s Not Unusual, and two more What’s New Pussycats. What do you say?”

“Are you trying to get us thrown out?” Liam asked with wide eyes, “Lou, no. I am not allowing this.”

“Oh hush, pup,” Zayn patted Liam’s arm, “It’ll be fun.”

“We better not get thrown out.”

“No one is throwing anyone out,” Louis hopped down from the booth, “C’mon, Zaynie. This’ll be fun!”

Harry watched Louis and Zayn head over to the jukebox. He put his head in his hands and let out a little sigh, “We’re going to get into _so_ much trouble.”

“Hey,” Niall kicked Harry’s shin lightly with his toe, “Louis’ been smiling all night, Haz. Have you noticed?”

Harry pulled his hands from his face, not able to fight his smile, “I have noticed, yeah. We had a little talk earlier. I don’t want to say too much because it was kind of private and intimate but what I can say is I think we’re going to be okay.”

“He really likes you, you know,” Liam squeezed Harry’s hand across the table, “Like he yammers on and on about you and whenever someone points that out to him, he slugs them. But his face lights up like an actual Christmas tree when he talks about you.”

Butterflies stirred in Harry’s tummy, “Really?”

“Yeah. I think he felt really bad about your big fight. He just didn’t really seem himself. Well, his new self that is. Before he was so broody and kind of cross to everyone. It was like that again after your fight. But lately, he’s been smiling so much. And glowing. He’s actually glowing, Harry. And you did that.”

Harry felt a little breathless. He turned and watched Louis and Zayn giggling at the jukebox, “Zayn seems pretty taken with you,” Harry raised a brow, “And you two do have pet names now.”

“It’s a step,” Liam flushed pink, “Honestly, whenever I’m around him, I get butterflies. Is that what it’s like for you? When you’re around Louis?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, turning back to Liam, “He takes my breath away. He’s overwhelming and exciting and soft and sweet and I just feel so much for him all at once and it’s overwhelming to me. I still wonder how it can be that I can feel all these things at one time. He’s a lot and never too much, you know?”

“Yeah, Zayn constantly overwhelms me too,” Liam admitted, tugging at a hangnail on his thumb, “He’s so quiet sometimes and he’ll say the most poetic, soulful things ever. And then the next minute, he’s over there causing trouble with that little one.”

“Mmm,” Harry smiled, “They are a pair, aren’t they?”

“How do we ever manage?” Liam chuckled.

“Because we love them so much,” Harry smiled and Liam choked a little on his cream soda, “Don’t try to say you don’t love Zayn, Li,” Harry grinned, taking a sip of his root beer, “I see it when you look at him. You look at him like how I look at Louis. So, are you going to do something about that, Payne?”

“I want to. It’s just...we’re both...I don’t know. It’s like we flirt and can be so tender with each other, but neither of us will grow the balls to just ask the other out. It’s frustrating,” Liam stirred his ice in his cup with his straw bitterly.

“Well that’s why you need to be the one to do it,” Harry batted Liam’s hand from his straw, “Look at me. You’ll never know if you don’t just go for it.”

“And what about you and Louis? Are you two like official yet?”

Harry shrugged, “It’s different. Zayn doesn’t need soft like Louis needs soft. Louis needs soft and slow and tender. Zayn needs someone to take charge and to tell him: hey, this is happening, are you on board? With Louis, I can’t just flat out rush into something like that. That was my mistake the first time. But Zayn? I feel like Zayn is the kind to want you to sweep him up off his feet. You need to make the first move, Li.”

“I know,” Liam glanced over to the jukebox where Zayn was depositing quarters, “He really makes me so happy. I’ve never felt anything quite like this before and it maybe sort of freaks me out a bit.”

“Niall,” Harry kicked Niall lightly, “What do you think?”

Niall’s focus was still on his phone, “I think Fred needs to give me more goldfish for all the Deluxe Tuna I’ve been buying for him.”

“Niall!” Harry smacked him “Seriously?”

“What?” Niall lowered his phone, “You just don’t know the joys of Neko At…”

Suddenly, What’s New Pussycat started up. Zayn and Louis hurriedly returned to the booth, hiding giggles behind their hands.

“Oh my God, you actually did it,” Liam deadpanned.

“Of course we did, pup,” Zayn opened up his menu to hide his laughter behind the sticky, glossy pages, “This is brilliant! Louis, you always have the best ideas!”

“Or worst ideas, depending who you ask,” Liam frowned.

“Oh hush,” Zayn swatted at him lightly, “This is hilarious and you know it.”

“What can I say?” Louis pretended to examine his fingernails coily, “I’m kind of a mastermind.”

“It’s not like you originally thought of the idea,” Niall reminded him.

“Oi!” Louis protested, “That’s not the point, Nialler!”

Niall chucked the wadded up paper from his straw at Louis who yelped and attempted to use Harry as a shield. The five of them cracked up, doubling over with laughter and bumping into one another. They didn’t even notice the waitress had returned to take their orders until she cleared her throat impatiently. She had her arms folded over her chest and was tapping her toe to the tile floor. She did not look pleased at all.

“Sorry,” Harry mumbled, clearing his throat from laughing.

“Right,” she eyed them suspiciously, “Well, are you ready to place your orders?”

“A bacon cheeseburger for me!” Louis chimed in, “With a mint chocolate chip shake!”

“Same for me,” Harry said, “But with a butter pecan shake.”

“Chicken and waffles for me, please,” Niall ordered.

“The two us will share a plate of the chili cheese fries,” Liam ordered for him and Zayn. 

The waitress gave them a tight-lipped smile before collecting their menus and disappearing towards the kitchen.

“We’re going to get our food spat in,” Liam mumbled.

“Oh hush, Lima,” Louis kicked him under the table, “Pull the underwear that’s in a knot from up your ass and have some fun!”

Liam’s jaw dropped and Harry closed his eyes for a pause before turning to look at Louis, “Lou,” he said firmly, “That wasn’t okay.”

“What?” Louis shrugged, “I’m just kidding. Mostly.”

“That was still rude,” Harry gave him a firm pinch to his hip, “Apologize.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Louis huffed, “I will do no such…”

Harry pinched him again, harder this time. He knew Louis really didn’t mean anything by his words. When he got hyper and excited, sometimes he tended to cross a line without even noticing he was. It was totally unintentional, and Harry knew this and was quite certain Liam did too. But Harry was also certain that Louis never really had anyone hold him accountable for things, never really had anyone look after him before. Harry was going to look after Louis. He’d decided that long ago. But in looking after Louis, that also meant holding him accountable for things. Louis never had anyone to give him direction before or keep him out of trouble. Harry needed to be that firm force in his life. Harry realized in that moment that while Louis did need soft, Louis also need firmness. Harry could give that to him. Harry could be that for him.

“Louis…” Harry lowered his voice an octave.

“Fine,” Louis rolled his eyes, not wanting to get pinched again, “Sorry, Payno.”

“It’s alright,” Liam looked from Louis to Harry, back to Louis, “Really. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll um...I’ll be right right back,” Louis stood abruptly from the table and headed out towards the main entrance. Harry watched him with a furrowed brow before standing up to follow behind him.

“I better go see what that’s all about,” Harry excused himself from the group and headed outside. 

Louis was standing off to the side of the diner on the sidewalk, kicking a some chipped pavement with the toe of his sneaker. Harry sighed, watching Louis as Louis kicked at the cement with a furrowed and determined brow. 

“Lou…” Harry began gently, “Louis, what’s up, baby?”

“Nothing,” Louis muttered, “Go away.”

“Lou, you know that’s not happening. C’mon, sweetheart. Talk to me here.”

“You’re not my father,” Louis said plainly.

“Okay?” Harry blinked, “I’m not...trying to be.”

“Then what was that back there?” Louis countered, still kicking at the cement. Harry wondered if Louis was imagining that the cement was him. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.

“Lou,” Harry sighed, pushing his curls back with his hand, “Listen. Okay, sometimes when you get excited and hyper, you don’t always think about what you’re saying or doing. Sometimes you can cross a line from being just playful, to being a little hurtful to people. What you said in there hurt Liam’s feelings.”

“Well I didn’t mean to,” Louis pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I know you didn’t, darling. But you did. And I wanted you to apologize.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because,” Harry sighed, “Louis, you don’t have anyone looking after you. I know that. I know at home you’re the one to look after everyone. But you don’t have anyone keeping an eye on you and checking on you. You don’t have someone to hold you accountable for your actions, or to keep you out of trouble. You’re on your own. Or at least you were before me. I’m here for you, darling. And you aren’t alone anymore, baby. I’m here for you. I want to look after you, Louis. I want to look after you and make sure you’re okay. And part of looking after you means being firm with you at times. You’re a wild thing, Louis. And I’m not trying to break you or tame you. I just want you to know that sometimes there are consequences. You don’t intend to be hurtful to people, but sometimes you can be.”

“What does that mean?” Louis mumbled, he’d stopped kicking at the pavement.

“It means that in looking after you, I’ll hold you accountable for things, Louis. I won’t let you be flat out rude to people, even if you don’t intend to be. I know you’re a sweetheart and I know you’d never purposefully be mean. But I won’t have you making comments that hurt people’s feelings. And I get that sometimes you get excited and don’t think all the way through things. You just say things without thinking. But I’m going to hold you responsible for those things.”

“So what?” Louis fixed Harry with a glare, “If I act up, you’ll what? You’ll spank me like people spanked you as a kid?”

“No,” Harry frowned, “ _No,_  Louis. Not at all. I’m not going to...ugh,” Harry let out an exasperated sigh, carding his hand through his hair once more, “Louis, listen to me. I told you I’d be soft with you, right? And I am. I’m going to be soft with you because that’s what you need. But you also need someone to be firm with you. You need someone who’s a force in your life that’ll keep your feet on the ground. I won’t spank you, Louis. I know my dad brought me up a certain way. But I don’t actually believe in non-consensual spanking. Even if I wouldn’t change anything about my childhood, it’s just not something I abide by. If I ever do spank you, it’ll be in a safe, consensual way.”

“Jesus Christ,” Louis groaned, “What are you? The handbook of BDSM for dummies?”

“I...are you like...into that?”

“Fuck!” Louis let out a groan, “Harold! This conversation is a mess.”

“Right,” Harry flushed pink, “Okay, back to the topic at hand. I don’t believe in spanking anyone if it’s not consensual. I would never spank my children, and I wouldn’t spank you in this situation. I would just quietly remind you that there’s a line there. If you cross that line, I’ll hold you accountable for that. If you make some offhanded remark that does actually hurt someone’s feelings, I’ll expect you to apologize to that person. That’s all, baby.”

“Why do you care so much what I do or what I say?” Louis mumbled.

“Because, like I said, I want to look after you. You look after everyone, darling - your mother, your sisters, your friends. And Liam and Zayn and Niall, they try. But I want to be the one that really, truly looks after you. I want to make sure that you’re alright, Louis. I want to keep you in check and I want to be the...the thing in your life that keeps you grounded.”

“Like...like my anchor?”

“Exactly,” Harry nodded, “I’m not trying to control you, Louis. I’m not trying to be some version of a father figure to you. I just am trying to be your anchor. If you’ll let me that is.”

Louis looked at Harry through his lashes, resting his teeth on his bottom lip, and thinking it over for a minute before saying, “I guess I could be okay with the idea of someone looking after me. And I guess I could be okay with that someone being you.”

Harry couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face, “You said I’m your boy, right?”

“Harold,” Louis pointed a finger at him, “I warned you about being sappy about that.”

“I know, I know,” Harry chuckled, “It’s just...I’m your boy and you’re mine, okay? You’re my boy, Louis. My beautiful, precious, sweet boy. And I am always going to look after you.”

“I’m going to let you hug me now,” Louis said, flatly despite the hint of a lump in his throat, “And you’re going to hug me. And you’re going to look after me.”

“Always,” Harry stepped forward, pulling Louis against him, “I’m always going to look after you, baby.”

“And you’re never going to let go, right?” Louis balled his fists into the back of Harry’s t-shirt.

“Never.”

“You’re stuck with me forever, you know that right, Harold?” Louis chuckled lightly against Harry’s chest, “Because when I decide on something, that’s pretty much it. Zayn says it’s because we’re capricorns. I don’t know much about that. But I do know that I’ve decided on you. And you’re stuck with me forever whether you like it or not.”

“Good,” Harry held Louis a little more firmly, “Nowhere else I’d rather you be than stuck with me.”

“Hazza?”

“Yes, angel?”

“We should probably get back inside before Niall eats our food.”

Harry laughed, giving Louis one firm squeeze before letting go, “You’re probably right about that.”

They walked back into the diner hand in hand. Their food was already at the table, and Liam and Zayn were currently sickeningly feeding each other cheese fries. Niall was still playing on his phone, probably to distract himself from the PDA fest going on beside him.

Harry slid into the booth and Louis slid in after him. As soon as he got settled, he nudged Liam’s foot with his own and said, “Leemo, I am sorry about what I said earlier. It was kind of a douche thing to say. So I’m sorry.”

Liam smiled, nudging Louis’ foot back, “It’s alright, Tommo. I know you didn’t mean it, but thank you for apologizing.”

“Wow,” Zayn blinked, “I don’t think I have ever heard such a genuine apology from you before, Lou.”

Louis blushed a little and squirmed a bit closer to Harry, saying, “That’s because I’ve never had anyone keep me in check before,” he pressed a quick kiss to Harry’s cheek, and Harry could feel the blush spread across his cheeks.

As Liam drove them all home later that evening, Louis laid his head upon Harry’s shoulders, closing his eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep. Harry stroked at Louis’ hair, carding his fingers gently through Louis’ fringe. As he watched Louis stir slightly against him, Harry began to quietly hum the melody to The Fray’s, I’ll Look After You. Louis smiled peaceful.

“ ‘s my favorite song, Hazza,” Louis’ voice was feather-soft and Harry felt something soft and warm stir within him.

“ ‘s my lullaby to you, baby.”

Liam met Harry’s eyes in the rear view mirror and smiled warmly at him as Harry quietly sang, “ _If I don't say this now I will surely break, as I'm leaving the one I want to take, forget the urgency but hurry up and wait, my heart has started to separate. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, be my baby, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, be my baby…_ ”

It was then Louis’ soft little voice joined in, “ _...I’ll look after you._ ” 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again for all the great feedback! This is a slightly longer chapter. If it seems a bit cut off towards the end, it kind of is. I wanted to make this chapter longer, but I also knew if I added the next scene in now, I'd have to include the whole chapter that'll follow. So it kind of ends abruptly so that the next chapter (the movie night, the sleepover, etc) flows smoothly. Sorry about that!! I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Also, as far as Gemma's character goes...I've never really had to write her much before. This is the most characterization I've had to do for her. I wanted her to come across as funny and smart and just as much a little shit as Harry and Louis can be. I also wanted to portray how much she adores her brother and would do anything for him. I hope this all comes through well in my writing. Thank you again for all your wonderful comments!! It makes my day!!

“How was the movie?” Des asked the next morning over breakfast.  Harry had gotten in late, about midnight, and his parents had already gone to sleep by that point.  He had come in quietly, and had spent most of the night, instead of sleeping, lying awake in bed smiling as he replayed the memories of the night through his head. Liam had dropped them all off one by one, and when they’d gotten to Louis’ house, Harry had woken him up with soft kisses. Zayn had made a comment about how gross they were, only to have Louis slug him in the arm for it. Harry hadn’t been able to stop thinking of Louis, and kissing Louis, and holding Louis. If he thought he’d been gone for this boy earlier, he certainly was gone for him now. Butterflies and goosebumps seemed to be permanent side effects now. Not that he’d have it any other way.

“It was good,” Harry smeared some butter onto his toast, “After the movie, we went to the diner. And um...Louis and I are sort of officially boyfriends now.”

“That’s great baby,” Anne set a plate of scrambled eggs down on the table before taking her seat next to Des, “I’m happy for you.”

“Same here,” Des clapped Harry on the shoulder, “Just don’t rush into things. But I really am happy things have come together for you two. I think you’ll both be good for each other.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Harry smiled, taking a bite of his toast.

“Des,” Anne caught her husband’s eye, “Um, do you think we should tell them now?”

“Tell us what?” Gemma asked.

“Is everything okay?” Harry’s brows furrowed, concerned. He didn’t like the nervous look on his mom’s face one bit. Des picked up his napkin from his knee and wiped his mouth before setting it on the table. Harry looked to Gemma, raising a brow. She looked just as lost and as nervous as he did.

“Yes, yes,” Des said assuredly, “Everything is fine, really. We got a phone call last night after you’d already gone to bed and before you came home. Your grandfather fell last night and while he’s mostly okay, he does have to go in for some minor hip surgery on Friday afternoon. It’s not a big deal, just a simple procedure compared to what it could have been. He was lucky it wasn’t worse than it is. But your mother and I are going up on Friday to be with them. We’ll stay in Seattle until Sunday and then we’ll come back Sunday evening. So you kids will be alone this weekend.”

“Are you sure he’s okay?” Gemma asked worriedly, “What about Grandma? Is she alright?”

“She’s a little stressed,” Anne answered, “But they’re okay. He apparently was trying to get something down from the attic when he fell. It could have certainly been quite a bit worse than it was. He is very, very lucky. But I am definitely going to give him a piece of my mind when we get up there about how he’s not supposed to be doing things like that anymore. It’s just far too dangerous in his age.”

“Now this means that you two kiddos will be home alone for the weekend,” Des said, “And I’m not naive. So I’m just going to say be safe and no parties. But neither of you are the party type, so I know I don’t have to worry about that. Just be safe. That’s all I am going to say about that.”

“Really?” Harry asked, wide-eyed.

“Harry,” Des laughed, “I was a teenager once too. I know what I’d have done if my parents left me on my own for the weekend. If any boyfriends happen to stay over, I just want you two to be mature and safe and smart in that situation. Your mother and I will leave you a hundred in cash to cover meals. Just make sure that the house is clean when we get back. And Harry Edward, I am still holding you to cleaning that garage up, mister.”

“Yes sir,” Harry nodded. Already he couldn’t wait to get to school and tell Louis that he could come over for the weekend. He knew things tended to be a bit hectic at Louis’ house. It’d be nice to give Louis a bit of a break from it for at least just a weekend. Harry could already picture curling up together and watching movies, making popcorn together. They could cuddle and kiss without Des or Anne walking in on them. It wasn’t even about being left alone in a bed together. It was just about being intimate and open and soft with one another completely alone. Harry could hardly contain his smile. He just hoped Gemma wouldn’t muck everything up. If she had Max over, Harry wasn’t sure how he would handle that. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Max. But he wasn’t too keen on having him over for the weekend.

“Alright, you two go finish getting ready for school,” Anne said as Harry and Gemma dropped their plates into the kitchen sink.

“Hey,” Gemma nudged Harry as they headed up the stairs together, “If you want, I can stay over at Max’s so you and Lou can have the house for the weekend.”

“You’d do that?” Harry asked, raising his brows in disbelief.

“Of course,” Gemma shrugged, “I mean, his parents are fine with it. And I know you might want some alone time with your boy, so...it’s no big deal, Haz. Just be safe, alright?”

“You too.”

“Always am,” Gemma nudged against Harry’s arm, “But really, H. I know Lou is your first boyfriend and I just want you to be safe and aware of things…”

“Gemma,” Harry paused outside her bedroom door, “I know you’re concerned, and I appreciate it. But like I’ve said, this thing between me and Louis is about being soft with each other. We aren’t going to rush into anything, and this weekend isn’t about that. Mostly I just want to hold him as we fall asleep together. That’s the kind of intimacy I want with him. And maybe one day it’ll be more, but for now, all I want is to hold him in my arms.”

Gemma zipped up her jacket, shaking her head slightly, “You’re going to make me tear up, baby brother,” she said earnestly, “You’re a gentle spirit, Haz. You really are. You mostly ready for school?”

“Um, yeah?” Harry shrugged. He was wearing a black sweater over a black turtleneck and dark washed jeans. It was getting colder outside and he had a thing for layers in the cooler temperatures. He’d already brushed his teeth and fixed his hair. He didn’t have anything to do before heading out for the day.

“Good. Sit,” Gemma pointed to her bed with the brush she was holding in her hand, “I have to leave early today too. So if you want, I can drive you to school and get you there for your morning detention. But for now, we have ten minutes and there’s two things I need to get done first.”

“What’s that?” Harry asked, tucking his legs underneath him on her comforter.

“To try to do something about this mess of my hair, and to hear all about your night. So spill, baby brother.”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh as he brushed his curls back with his hand, “Well, we went to the movie right? And Louis and I sat next to each other and maybe snuggled together. And after the movie, Niall was still hungry…”

“Of course,” Gemma laughed, running her brush through her ombre’ hair.

“I know, right? So we went to the diner because we figured it was cheap and we could hang out there for a while without feeling rushed. And we had a pretty good time. Louis and I talked and we both really like each other a lot, Gems. So we just sort of decided we’re each other’s boy. And then Liam drove us all home and Louis fell asleep in my arms and it was just the most perfect thing, Gemma. He’s just so beautiful and sweet and I...I don’t even know what else to say,” Harry buried his face in his hands, feeling the burning blush on his cheeks.

“Aww,” Gemma cooed, tossing the brush aside and coming to sit on the bed with him. She wrapped her arms around Harry and pressed a kiss to his temple, “My baby brother is in looove,” she sang.

“Oh shut up,” Harry shoved at her lightly. He knew his blush and the massive smile on his face were giving him away though. And he was. He knew he was in love with Louis Tomlinson. There was no attempting to deny it.

“Hey now,” Gemma grinned, holding him tighter, “This is your first relationship, Harry Berry. It is required that I, as your big sister, tease you mercilessly over it.”

“Ugh,” Harry put his face back into his hands, “You’re a pain.”

“I know,” Gemma grinned, giving Harry a quick tickle, making him yelp, before hopping up off the bed, “Like I said, sisterly duties and all that.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but before you run off to Max’s, maybe you could have dinner with Louis and me one night? We can order pizza or take-out. I want you to meet him.”

Gemma fixed Harry with a strange look, “I have three classes with the kid. I’ve met him.”

“No,” Harry insisted, “As my boyfriend. I want you to have dinner with us and meet him as my boyfriend.”

“You sure you trust me with that kind of thing,” Gemma grinned wickedly, checking out her eyeliner in the mirror.

“No, but I don’t care. I want you to meet him, Gems. Like _really_ meet him.”

“You make no sense, but hey. If it makes you happy, sure. I can spare one night to have dinner with you two morons. If it really means that much to you.”

It did. Harry knew Gemma knew Louis already. Hell, they’d been lab partners for sophomore biology. But Harry wanted Gemma to officially meet Louis. Maybe it was sappy, but it was important to Harry that the three of them sit down together, have dinner together.

Gemma drove Harry to school after touching up her winged eyeliner. He was just in time for detention, one thing he definitely wouldn’t miss once the week was up. This particular detention was especially frustrating though. Louis was literally one table over from him, and Harry couldn’t speak to him until their hour was up. Mr. Winston was going over the script at the front table, marking things up and highlighting. Occasionally, they’d sneak glances at each other when he wasn’t looking. Louis would pull a funny face and Harry would have to bite his finger to keep from laughing out loud. Mr. Winston was eyeing them suspiciously though, and Harry felt like this was the longest hour of his life.

Finally, the hour was up and Mr. Winston announced they were free to go.

“That was misery,” Louis cried as he pressed himself close to Harry as soon as they got the chance.

“Tell me about it,” Harry agreed, “Wanted to kiss you the whole time.”

“Well make up for it then,” Louis quirked a brow.

“C’mere and I will,” Harry pulled Louis closer to him, grabbing his face in his hands, and kissing him chastely. As they pulled apart, both boys were blushing tremendously.

“I have a proposition for you,” Harry announced.

“Oh, that so, Styles?”

“Yup,” Harry nodded, they headed out from the library to the main hallway, “This is gonna sound really shady at first, but hear me out. My parents are out of town this weekend and my dad sort of maybe suggested that you’re allowed to come over to stay for the weekend. I don’t want you to think that this is like some sort of suggestive thing at all. I mean, I mostly just want to be able to have you over for the nights so that we can share a bed together and that I can hold you in my arms. And that’s as intimate as I want us to be this weekend, if you do say yes. I just don’t want to rush into anything, or make you feel like this is some sort of pressure here. There’s not. This isn’t. I just...I want you over. I want to be able to have the house to ourselves - to cook with you and cuddle with you and just...just be alone with you.”

“Hey,” Harry felt a little tug on his hand. Louis had stopped in his tracks, hand still in Harry’s, as Harry had kept walking. Harry swallowed nervously and turned to meet Louis’ gaze. He didn’t want Louis to think that this was some sort precursor to sex or anything. And he certainly didn’t want to make Louis feel uncomfortable with the situation at all. He was truly expecting a ‘no’ when a soft smile spread across Louis’ face, “I want to come over,” he said sincerely, “Stop freaking out, H. I want to come over. And I know that we are taking things slow. And that’s good. But I do want to come over and stay with you this weekend.”

“A-are you sure?” Harry asked nervously.

“Well I won’t be if you keep that up, silly,” Louis laughed, tugging harder on Harry’s hand, pulling him against him so he could wrap his arms around Harry’s middle, “Honestly, H. I want to come over. It’d be good to get a break from things for awhile. And I love the idea of some alone time with my boy,” for added emphasis, Louis nuzzled his face into Harry’s neck.

Harry giggled, trying to shoulder away from Louis’ breath on his neck, “Gemma’s going to be staying at Max’s,” Harry explained, “But I asked that she stay Friday night for dinner with us. I want you to meet her as my boyfriend. Not just some boy she has classes with. Does that make sense?” Harry winced, hoping that he was making at least a little sense.

“I get it,” Louis nodded, letting go of Harry and putting his hand back in his, “I think that’s a great idea. I’d love to meet her as your sister. But to be honest, H - she does kind of scare me a little. She’s not going to give me a speech about skinning me alive if I do anything to hurt you, is she?” Louis winced.

“Oh she definitely will,” Harry grinned, squeezing Louis’ hand, “But don’t worry. She secretly adores you. She thinks we’re cute. She may tease us relentlessly though over dinner. She spent a good portion of the morning driving me crazy about us.”

“She’s your big sister,” Louis squeezed Harry’s hand back, “It’s a requirement. It’s like in the big sibling guidebook or something.”

“Oh gosh,” Harry laughed, “I don’t even want to think about how bad _you’re_ going to be when Lottie starts dating.”

“Harold!” Louis shrieked, “Don’t you dare even joke about that!”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. Louis narrowed his eyes and smacked him in the dick for it.

“Hey!” Harry pouted, doubling over.

Louis just bit his lip and grinned mischievously, “You had it coming, Styles,” and just because Louis was a cute little shit, he tacked on brightly, “And don’t even think about asking me to kiss it better,” before scurrying off down the hallway. 

\--

Friday afternoon, it was decided that Louis would go home and pack up a weekend bag before coming over to Harry’s. He had already told his mom that he was spending the night at Zayn’s. He hadn’t been too keen on lying, but he knew she wouldn’t check in to find out if he was telling the truth or not. All day Friday, Harry was anxious. He couldn’t wait to have Louis over for the whole weekend. After play practice, they parted ways and Louis told Harry he’d be over to his house in about an hour. 

Harry spent the next hour getting ready. He wanted to make sure everything was just right. He made up his bed and picked up his room. He also changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He ran his fingers through his curls and even put a dab of his Tom Ford cologne on behind his ears. He even checked over everything in the kitchen, making sure they had sodas and junk food stocked up at least for tonight. Tomorrow they could run get more stuff with the cash Des had left on the kitchen counter. Gemma watched, amused, from the kitchen table, as Harry checked the fridge and the cabinets.

“Haz,” she shook her head, “It’s fine. Everything is fine.” By her feet was her own weekend bag. Harry knew she couldn’t wait to get over to Max’s, but she was being patient and staying at least through dinner. She still didn’t quite understand why Harry wanted her there, but it was clearly important to him, so she wasn’t about to ruin that. 

“I just want everything to be perfect.”

“It will be,” Gemma assured, standing from the table, “Come here.”

Harry went to her and she brushed a stray curl from his eyes, “Breathe, baby brother. It’s all good. You and Louis are going to have a great time together here this weekend. Why don’t you try to chill a minute. He’ll be here soon and you’ll see there’s nothing to have worried over.”

“Thanks, Gems,” Harry gave her a weak smile, “I know you’re right. It’s just...I want everything to be perfect.”

“I know. And it will be because it’ll be you and Louis. And holy shit, you’re making me sappy!” Gemma scrunched up her face and pretended to gag, “Look what you’re doing to me!”

Harry laughed, stress forgotten for a moment. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. He shot Gemma a panicked look. 

“Go answer it!” Gemma shoved Harry out of the kitchen.

Harry took a deep breath, mustering up his strength before unlocking and opening the front door. Louis stood there in his jeans and hoodie he’d worn to school. In his hand was a worn out Adidas duffle bag. He smiled sheepishly at Harry.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hi,” Harry replied. Neither one of them moved, just stood there and smiled at each other shyly, lost in their own little world.

“For fucks sake!” Gemma cried, “Let the boy in, Haz,” she rolled her eyes and came up behind Harry, opening the door wider, “Come in, come in. It’s fucking freezing out there and you’re too busy making eyes at him to let him in,” Gemma admonished teasingly, “Hi, Lou.”

“Hi, Gemma,” Louis set his duffle bag down and held out his hand.

“Oh Christ,” Gemma rolled her eyes again, “It’s not like I haven’t known you for a good portion of my life, Tomlinson. But I’ll play along. Nice to meet you, the boy who seems to have captured my baby brother’s heart.”

Louis blushed, “I don’t know about that…”

“Oh it’s true though,” Gemma grinned, turning to Harry, “Look at him. He’s blushing.”

“He is,” Louis noted. Harry wanted to die.

“He does that whenever he talks about you, I’ll have you know.”

“Gems!” Harry cried.

“Oh hush,” Gemma waved dismissively, “Now you,” she turned back to Louis, “What are your intentions with my little brother?”

“Oh my God,” Harry deadpanned, “Go away.”

“No,” Gemma smiled, “You wanted me here, remember, Haz?”

“I want you in another continent,” Harry grumbled as Gemma laughed.

“Alright, alright,” she gave in, “I’ll be nice. Louis, it is really nice that you can come over this weekend. I know it means a lot to Harry. Why don’t you take him up to your room, H. Help him get settled. I’ll place the order for the pizza. What pizza do you like, Lou?”

“Um, anything is fine with me,” Louis shrugged.

“Come on,” Gemma grinned, nudging him slightly, “We can splurge. Tell me what you want.”

Louis bit his bottom lip, thinking it over before saying, “Well, I do like Supreme.”

“Perfect. I’ll get us two large supremes, that way you guys can have leftovers tomorrow if you want. Now shoo. Go upstairs and get comfy and relax. I’ll take care of ordering the pizza.”

Harry led Louis upstairs to his bedroom, “Christ, sometimes I swear I’m going to disown her.”

Louis laughed, “I love it,” he admitted, “She’s just like me if I were in her situation.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “She’s a pain.”

“She’s a big sister,” Louis explained.

Once upstairs in Harry’s room, Harry told Louis he could set his duffle wherever. 

“You can also use some of my drawer space if you want. My bathroom is right through that door if you need to use it. Oh um, you should also change into some a bit more comfortable. This is a relaxing weekend. I’m going to be living in sweats.”

“What, no pasted-on skinny jeans for you, Harold?”

Harry laughed, “Gotta let some things breathe a bit every now and then, right?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Louis grinned.

It didn’t take long before Louis had unpacked a few things and was changed into sweatpants and a Van Halen t-shirt. He looked positively cuddleable. Harry didn’t waste the opportunity to grab Louis in a big hug, peppering his face with kisses until he was a giggling mess in his arms.

“Guys, get down here!” Gemma shouted, “The pizza will be here in like ten minutes and if you think I’m setting the damn table by myself you’re mistaken.”

“She scares me but I like her,” Louis admitted as they headed down the stairs.

Harry couldn’t help but preen, “She’s obnoxious, but I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else.”

“Trade who?” Gemma asked as the boys descended the last step.

“You,” Harry shrugged.

Gemma laughed, “Sure about that? You might change your mind once I show this one here your baby pictures and tell him all your tickle spots.”

“Ooh,” Louis perked up, “Do tell.”

“ _Don’t you dare,_ ” Harry hissed.

Gemma just laughed and threw her arm over Louis’ shoulders as they headed into the kitchen together laughing. Harry frowned, trailing behind them. But his frown couldn’t last too long. Even if they were ganging up against him and pretty much two obnoxious peas in a pod, Harry was over the moon that they were getting along so well. Even if it was at his own expense.

Together, the three of them got down the plates and glasses. Louis grabbed the napkins and set them down at the center of the table. It was a proper little set-up by the time the doorbell rang. Gemma grabbed the correct amount of cash, plus tip, from the counter before going to answer the door. Once she returned, pizza boxes in hand, she set one on the counter and one at the center of the kitchen table.

“Alright, dig in,” she said.

They each grabbed slices and set them on their plates. As they dug in, Gemma said, “So do you guys have any plans for this evening?”

“I’m thinking a movie night,” Harry suggested, “We’ve got popcorn and chips.”

“Sounds good to me,” Louis popped a mushroom into his mouth, “What about you,  Gem?”

“Well Max’s parents are pretty chill about things. We’ll probably just watch TV too.”

After a beat of silence, Gemma said, “I am afraid I do have to give this little speech at some point, so why not now? Louis, let me just say I am so happy you’re in Harry’s life. You make him so happy. Happier than I’ve seen him in a while,” Harry blushed as Gemma continued, “But I do have to tell you that if you do anything to jeopardize that happiness, I am not above dipping you in honey and tying you to a tree and letting the insects rip apart your flesh.”

“ _Jesus, Gemma!_ ” Harry cried as Louis choked on the sip of soda he’d just taken.

“What?” Gemma shrugged, “So long as he doesn’t break your heart, I won’t have to resort to such measures.”

“I have to say that I would say the same to any of my sisters’ boyfriends,” Louis admitted.

“Now that that’s understood,” Gemma smiled widely, “We can get to the fun stuff! Did you know that when Harry was five, he had an imaginary friend called Mr. Pickles?”

“ _Gemma,_ ” Harry groaned as Louis laughed.

“No way,” he grinned, “What else?”

“Oh my God,” Harry put his face in his hands.

“When mom and dad were trying to potty train him, I told him that there was a sewer monster that would come up from the toilet and eat him. He was freaked out to even go near the toilet for months!”

“I hate you so much,” Harry said from behind his hands as Louis laughed brightly.

“Um,” Gemma thought it over a bit before saying, “He used to have a pair of lucky socks that he refused to have washed because he swore it’d wash off their luck. Mom finally had to throw them away because they stunk so bad. He cried for like an hour over that.”

“Poor baby,” Louis shook his head.

“He was twelve.”

Louis snorted.

Harry plotted her death.

“Are you done now?” Harry asked desperately.

“Not even close,” Gemma grinned, “He used to be terrified of Clifford as a kid.”

“Clifford?” Louis raised a brow, “I’m sorry love, but that’s just embarrassing.”

“He was a dog who was bigger than a house!” Harry cried, “Who wouldn’t be terrified?”

Gemma just smiled and continued, unfazed, “He’s especially ticklish on his tummy and right between his armpits and ribs.”

“You are _so_ done right now,” Harry gritted his teeth.

“Also right above his knees.”

“I hate you so much,” Harry whimpered.

“And behind his knees.”

“Can you stop?” Harry asked desperately. 

“Okay, okay,” Gemma paused, turning to Harry and ruffling his curls a bit, “I’m sorry, Haz.” She pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Get off,” Harry shoved at her, “God you’re annoying.”

“Hey,” Gemma stroked at his hair, “I’m sorry, H. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just having fun.”

“Yeah well, you crossed the line, Gemma Anne. It wasn’t funny.”

“It sort of was funny,” Louis admitted.

Harry shot him a look before turning back to Gemma, “Like honestly, Gemma.”

“I’m sorry,” Gemma crumbled a bit, “Really, H.”

“I mean,” Harry bit his lower lip, trying to hide his smile. If Gemma could be a little shit, so could he. She had it coming anyway. “You can’t honestly expect that if you’re going to share embarrassing details about me, that I won’t do the same about you.”

“You little shit!” Gemma cried, shoving playfully at Harry.

“Like for starters,” Harry’s smile broke out into a full on grin, “When we watched _Wizard of Oz_ when we were kids, she got so scared thinking flying monkeys were real. She _still_ can’t go through the monkey habitats at the zoo.”

“Oh my God!” Gemma cried. Louis was now cackling with laughter as he watched the two siblings bicker.

“I once convinced her that the colors looked different for everyone. So what could be considered blue to her could be red to me. She believed it for months.”

“ _Harry!_ ” Gemma protested.

“Oh,” Harry smiled wickedly, “And her worst tickle spot is right here…” Harry wrapped his arm around her, pulling her against him as he began to tickle her side.

“Okay, okay!” Gemma squealed, batting at his hands, “I get it! I’ve learned my lesson!”

Harry released her with a satisfied smirk.

“God you’re a pain,” Gemma rolled her eyes, taking a bite of her pizza.

“Have to get it from somewhere, big sister.”

Gemma rolled her eyes again.

Louis laughed, “For as much as you two drive each other crazy, you do seem very close.”

“We are,” Gemma answered easily, “I don’t tell him this often, but he’s my favorite person on the entire planet. Hence dipping you in honey and feeding you to the insects if you hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t, just so you know,” Louis said earnestly, “I would never hurt him, Gemma.”

“Good,” Gemma nodded, “I’m holding you to that promise.” 

After dinner, the three cleared the table. Gemma was about to start on the dishes in the sink when Harry nudged her out of the way. “We’ll take care of this,” he told her, “I know you’re anxious to go over and see Max.”

“You sure?” Gemma quirked a brow.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, “We’ve got this.”

“Well, alright,” she wiped her hands on a dish towel, “I guess I’ll be off then. You two be good, okay? Behave yourselves and make sure not to make a mess of the place. Dad’ll skin us both alive if he comes home to a mess, H.”

“Got it,” Harry nodded, “You have a good weekend over at Max’s.”

“I will,” Gemma grabbed her duffle bag from the floor, “You two be safe. If you need anything, just give me a call, okay. I mean it. If you need anything, or if anything goes wrong or something, you call me Harry Styles.”

“I know, I know. I’ve got it.”

“Good. C’mere,” Gemma held out her arm. Harry tucked himself into her hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She ruffled his hair with her hand, “Be good, Haz. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Gemma released Harry and quirked a brow at Louis, “Alright Bother Numero Dos, get over here too. Don’t think you’re getting out of giving me a hug too.”

Louis grinned, hugging Gemma, “You know,” he smirked, “you’re cooler than you appear at school.”

“Oi!” Gemma smacked him upside the head playfully, “As your designated big sister, I have the right to do that now, just so you know. And I am very, _very_ cool. Alright, you behave yourselves. I’ll see you Sunday!” Gemma waved goodbye as she headed out to the garage.

Once they were alone, Louis giggled into his hand.

“What?” Harry asked, turning back towards the sink. It’d be better to just get the dishes done now as opposed to letting them pile up for later.

“I like her,” Louis declared, “I like her a lot.”

“She’s not half bad for a sister,” Harry shrugged, running the tap, “Come help me do the dishes, baby. Then we can pick out a movie to watch.”

“You wash, I’ll dry,” Louis slid in beside Harry, grabbing a dish towel from the handle of the cabinet, “Deal?”

“Deal.”

“You know,” Louis said, “She almost makes me wish I had a big sister.”

Harry dimpled as he said, “Well, now you’ve got one.”

The smile on Louis’ face as he pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek was sunshine.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter!! I really like this one a lot and I hope you do too! One thing I'd like to ask is if the relationship between Harry and Louis is coming together clearly and if there's anything I can do to improve that. It's come to my attention that that could use a bit of tweaking so if you have any ideas for improvement or suggestions on how I can make this better, please let me know. I'm always open for constructive criticism. Just please be kind :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this new chapter! I really like it and I hope it gives some better insight into Louis and Harry both. Thank you again for reading and always saying such kind things. I always look forward to being able to give you guys a new chapter! Enjoy!!

Harry grabbed some blankets and pillows from the linen closet upstairs before heading to the living room. Louis was already tucked up on the couch, flipping through Netflix. Harry smiled on reflex as he watched Louis tug at a little piece of fringe with his free hand as he scrolled through the movies catalogue with his other hand. 

“Finding anything good?” Harry asked, setting the bedding in his arms down on the coffee table.

Louis shrugged, “It’s your house, you pick.”

“Nope,” Harry’s smile grew as he unfolded one of the soft blankets - some fake fur one that his mother had bought at some swanky furniture store a few years ago. It always felt like a cloud, and it was Harry’s favorite. After unfolding it, he spread it out over Louis’ lap. Louis smiled as he ran his hand over the soft fur of the blanket.

“This is nice,” he said.

“It’s one of my favorites. You pick the movie, love. I’m honestly fine with whatever you want.”

“Hmm,” Louis thought it over a bit, biting his lower lip, before grinning and pointing to the screen, “Even if I wanted to watch Shrek The Musical?”

“Um..”

“I’m kidding, Harold,” Louis giggled, “I don’t really feel much like a movie tonight, but I’m game for a Cutthroat Kitchen marathon though if you are.”

“That works for me,” Harry shrugged, unfolding the second blanket for himself, “Any reason why you aren’t up for a movie tonight?”

“I don’t know if I have the attention span for a movie, but Cutthroat Kitchen is entertaining. Besides, everyone knows you can’t talk during a movie, Harold. But we can talk during this. And I want to talk to you.”

Louis’ cheeks turned slightly pink and Harry felt his stomach do an endeared little flip. Louis was shy tonight. Harry could see it in his body language. He kept tugging at his fringe and blushing and he couldn’t really look Harry in the eye for long before having to turn away. Harry had to admit that he was pretty shy about tonight too. It was the first time he’d ever really been alone with anyone before. And this wasn’t just anyone. This was Louis. And Harry wanted to make this weekend a good one for both of them. 

“I want to talk to you too,” Harry admitted, sinking down on the couch, “Could I cuddle you, darling?”

Louis nodded and tucked himself against Harry’s side, rearranging the blankets before pressing play on the first episode. Harry reached up and began to card his fingers through the feathery fringe at the back of Louis’ neck. Louis felt so soft, so warm against him. Harry was quite certain that he’d be in love with this boy forever. Everything just felt right when Louis was by his side, under his arm. Louis just fit there like a little puzzle piece. Harry’s little puzzle piece. The two of them just meshed. 

“Hi,” Louis said softly, turning his head to meet Harry’s eye.

“Hi,” Harry smiled down at him.

“Thank you for inviting me over this weekend,” Louis nuzzled closer against Harry, Harry catching a wiff of Louis’ scent - fresh soap and the soft, lingering smell of cigarette smoke, “I needed to get away from home for a little. So this is nice.”

“What’s going on at home?” Harry frowned, not wanting Louis to ever feel uncomfortable in his own home. He hoped things were okay, that the girls were alright and that Jay was being understanding to her son.

“The usual,” Louis sighed as Alton Brown presented the contestants with their first auction, “My mom is working more, which is pretty much the norm now so I don’t really know if I’d call it ‘more.’ She just comes home later and later it seems. And when she does come home, she’s always too tired to really do much. I’m glad Lottie is older and can help out, but she shouldn’t have to deal with all this. Not like I had to.”

“Is Lottie okay with everything this weekend?” Harry asked.

“Oh yeah,” Louis nodded, “My mom is only working tonight. She’ll be home with them tomorrow. I’m not too worried about Lottie for one night. It’s just...she’s still a kid, Haz. And she’s doing so much to help me. It was okay when it was just me. But she shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“Louis, it wasn’t okay when you were a kid either,” Harry tried to remind him.

Louis just shrugged, “What choice did I have? Someone had to step up. Besides, I could have done more. You were around. You saw me. You saw what I was like. I helped out, but I was kind of a miserable kid. You know that. I was a bully, Harry. And I wasn’t much better at home. I tried to be, for the girls. But sometimes it just got to be too much. More nights than not it was peanutbutter sandwiches because I couldn’t be bothered to fix anything else.”

“Lou,” Harry felt his heart break in his chest, “Louis, you did the best you could. You can’t beat yourself up about that.”

“I never wanted to be that person, Harry. I never wanted to be the kid who hung out with the bullies, who people were scared of. I kicked kid’s snowmen and I talked back to my teachers. I was so, so angry with everything. I was angry at my dad for leaving, I was angry at my mom’s boyfriend for what he did to me, and I was angry at her for giving up. And I still am. And it’s so, so tiring being angry all the time. I’m tired, Harry. I don’t want to be angry anymore.”

Harry pulled Louis closer against him, reaching up to wipe a tear from Louis’ cheek with his thumb, “Louis, I want you to listen to me, okay? This is important, so pay attention. You did the best you could. You did better than most kids would. You’ve been through so, so much, Louis. And you are so strong. You made it through all of that, and you are still such a kind, lovely person. You had a lot of anger in you, and maybe you still do. And that anger is valid. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a good person, Louis.”

“I’m not though,” Louis buried his face against Harry’s arm, “I’m not a good person, Harry.”

“Stop that,” Harry scolded gently, running his fingers through Louis’ hair in an attempt to soothe him, “You are a good person, Louis. You have so much love. You adore your sisters, I’ve seen that first-hand. Even your mother, when you speak of her, you never speak of her with hatred or judgement. And your friends? You would do anything for your friends. You are a good person, Louis. And I’m so, so lucky to have you in my life. Where is this coming from, baby?”

“I guess I just don’t talk about it much,” Louis admitted, reaching a fist up to wipe at his eyes, the episode on TV long forgotten, “So when I do take the time to think about things, it all just sort of spills. Do you really think I’m a good person, Harry? I was horrible to you for so much. I know that. And I’m sorry for that. It just...I can’t believe sometimes that you want me in your life, that you want me to be your boyfriend. I don’t think I deserve you.”

“Louis, you deserve so, so much. More than I could ever give you. But I’ll do my best to give you what I can. And what I can give you is someone who loves you, who cares about you, who’ll look after you, and who’ll be in your corner. Someone to come to when things get rough, and someone who’ll help take that burden off you when it gets to be too much to carry.”

“Why though? Why do you care so much about me?” Louis asked softly, pulling back so that he could look Harry in the eye. His ice-blue eyes were watery with tears and his nose was pink from sniffling. 

“Because...I love you,” Harry took a deep breath, “I know that might be a little fast to say, but it’s true. I love you and I care about you. I look at you and I see this beautiful, precious boy who is worth so, so much. And you take my breath away, Lou. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, sweetheart.”

A smile broke out across Louis’ face, “I don’t know how I deserve you, but I am so thankful that I have you, Haz.”

Harry kissed Louis on top of his head. He didn’t expect Louis to say it back. And that was fine. Louis would say it when he was ready, and Harry would wait until then. Harry could wait until then. For now, Louis was in his arms, knowing he’s loved. And that was plenty for Harry.

“I mean it when I say I’ll help you out, Lou. If things are hectic at home, just call me and I can come over in a heartbeat. I can make dinners or help with homework or something. I’ll do whatever it is you need me to do.”

“Thank you,” Louis nodded earnestly, “Fuck,” he muttered, “We were supposed to be having a fun weekend and I’m over here getting all soppy.”

Harry smiled, “It’s fine, baby. Whatever is going on inside that head of yours, I want to know. When you feel sad or overwhelmed, tell me. I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks,” Louis wiped his nose on the back of his hand, “I’m sorry for this.”

“Oh hush,” Harry shook his head, “Like I said, it’s fine. What do you say we pause the episode and I fix us some snacks. Whatever you like.”

“Sounds good,” Louis pushed himself up off the couch, running his hands over his face, “Since this is a real thing between us, Haz, I must warn you that I do tend to get a bit soppy at times. This probably won’t be the last time you see me like this. I tend to be a bit of a crier.”

“Good thing you have a shoulder to cry on then,” Harry answered brightly as they headed into the kitchen.

“You’re a sap,” Louis pinched Harry on the hip, “Honestly, Harold. I don’t know why I keep you around,” Louis teased. Harry knew he was deflecting, changing the mood of the evening. He couldn’t help but smile at his boy.

“Always a sap for you,” Harry cooed playfully.

“Ew,” Louis laughed, hopping up on the counter, “Don’t make me kick you. So what do we have as far as snacks go?”

“Well,” Harry opened up the pantry, “There’s popcorn. We have tortilla chips and I know there’s cheese in the fridge. I could make nachos.”

“Nachos sound good,” Louis kicked his heels against the cabinets under the counter, “Make nachos, please.”

“Sure thing, love,” Harry began to get out the ingredients and start preparations on the nachos, “So,” he smiled slyly as he arranged chips on the cookie sheet, “We’re a real thing then.”

“Of course we are, Styles,” Louis reached out and poked the spot in Harry’s cheek where his dimple hid, “You’re my boy and that’s that.”

“I like being your boy.”

“I like you being my boy,” Louis answered, reaching out and grabbing a chip off the sheet before popping it into his mouth, “It’ll probably make things better for us in the play too when you think about it.”

“Oh yeah,” Harry nodded, reaching for the cheese, “Definitely.”

“Did you know there’s going to be talent scouts there from some major universities?” Louis asked, “Mr. Winston told me the other day. They’re going to come see opening night. They’re picking three students from the district to give scholarships too. I have to be one of those students. I’m going to be one of those students.”

“I’m sure you will be. You’re fantastic, Louis. You’ll blow them away.”

“I hope so,” Louis pulled at a hangnail, “It’s my shot, Haz. If I don’t get this…”

“...then we figure something else out together,” Harry interrupted, “But you will, baby. You light up that stage like nobody else.”

Louis squirmed a little on the counter under Harry’s praise, “It’s one thing I’m good at. I love sports and I love music, but acting? Acting is something that just clicks with me. When I’m on the stage, it’s like everything just makes sense.”

“It’s your element, Lou. Everyone needs something. That’s your something.”

“What’s your something?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Harry admitted. He liked a lot of things. He didn’t really have a niche like Louis did. 

“You’ll figure it out,” Louis said confidently, “I know you will. Did you know my mom is taking off work for opening night? She never takes off work unless it’s like a birthday or Christmas. And she’s actually taking off work for this.”

“You’re going to make her so proud,” Harry grabbed a can of jalapenos, holding it up to ask Louis if he wanted those. He nodded and Harry popped the can and sprinkled some on the chips, “I know you are.”

“I hope so,” Louis reached his hand into the bag of shredded cheese before sprinkling some shreds into his mouth, “It’s been tough, and it’s still tough. But I do love her, Haz. She’s trying, I know. I just want to do right by her. But I’m sure we’ll be great. I’ve got my light through yonder window up there with me, haven’t I? We’ll be great.”

“We’ll bring the house down!” Harry agreed excitedly, sprinkling cheese onto the chips, “You aren’t still sore about me having to be in the play, are you?”

“Nah,” Louis chuckled, “C’mere.”

Harry popped the cookie sheet into the oven under BROIL and came over to the counter. Louis spread his legs and wrapped them around Harry’s middle. He brushed a curl form Harry’s eyes with his fingers.

“Kiss me,” Louis said.

Harry didn’t have to be told twice.

This kiss was different from the others. It started off soft and chaste, until Louis pulled Harry closer against him, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. Harry kissed Louis as if he was hungry for it, wanting to make Louis really feel it. Once they finally broke apart, Louis whispered, “Wow.”

Harry blushed, running a hand through his own hair, “You’re gonna make me burn the nachos.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” Louis laughed brightly, unwrapping his legs and shoving Harry towards the oven.

Harry pulled out the nachos. The cheese was perfectly melted and they smelled delicious. He sat the sheet next to Louis and said, “Gonna grab a plate for these. Don’t touch them.”

Louis rolled his eyes and grabbed for a nacho anyway, making Harry shake his head, endeared.

“Don’t you listen?” Harry asked, trying to sound frustrated. He failed.

“Nope,” Louis grinned before holding out a second chip, “Here cutie, have a nacho.”

\--

They curled back under the fake fur blanket, watching episodes of Cutthroat Kitchen and giggling over the insane things the chefs had to endure while making up their own ideas for how they’d run the show. They fed each other nachos and giggled as Alton Brown made one chef wear huge, plastic lobster claws to cook in. Louis looked so soft and happy curled up beside Harry. Any stress or worries going on in his life at that moment seemed to vanish. And Harry held him a little tighter and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.

He felt overwhelmed with love for this boy. Goosebumps constantly prickled his skin, and butterflies seemed to perpetually swarm in his tummy. Louis overwhelmed him and excited him. Loving this boy was something Harry could do. Loving this boy could be his something.

After several episodes of Cutthroat Kitchen, two helpings of nachos, and two cups of cocoa, both boys were yawning and groggy with sleep. Harry paused the episode and asked Louis if he’d like to go to bed. Louis stifled a yawn behind his hand and nodded in agreement. Harry stood up from the couch and held out a hand for Louis to take. As they headed up the stairs together, the butterflies in his tummy turned to massive, heavy moths. Harry had never shared a bed with anyone before. He’d never slept with anyone before. This felt like a huge thing, but it also felt completely natural as well. Once inside Harry’s room, they stood together in the center, neither really knowing what to do.

“Would you like to shower before bed?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, “I can’t really sleep without a shower. Is that alright?”

“More than alright,” Harry led Louis into the bathroom, “The towels are on that rack there. Just put your dirty clothes in that hamper and we can do laundry later. There’s soaps and such in the shower. Um,” Harry scanned the bathroom, hoping he was remembering everything, “There’s toothpaste in that drawer there in case you didn’t bring some. Take your time. I’ll be right out here if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Louis smiled before scurrying over to press a kiss to Harry’s cheek.

Harry left Louis to shower. At first, he tried to busy himself in his room. He tidied up some of the school supplies on his desk, and awkwardly meandered around his bedroom floor. When he felt the water turn on, he relaxed a bit. This was okay. Everything was okay. This was just sleeping together. When Niall would come over, they’d camp out together in the living room together in sleeping bags. This was sort of the same thing, right?

Only it wasn’t. It was completely different. Harry felt slightly dizzy. The water shut off and Harry had a brief moment of panic. It’d be weird if he was just sort of pacing around once Louis got out. Like he was waiting for him or something. So Harry hopped onto his bed and flicked through Facebook on his phone while he waited for the door to open. It did, and Louis stepped out with his towel wrapped around his waist. Harry felt his mouth go dry as he looked at him. The white towel was a stark contrast to Louis’ caramel skin. He was so, so tan. His collarbones were absolutely sinful and he had the tiniest little nipples Harry could imagine. Realizing he was staring, Harry suddenly cleared his throat and attempted to turn his attention back to his phone.

“It’s okay, Haz,” Louis laughed, making his way to the dresser where they’d stored some of his clothes, “You can look.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry blushed.

“For what?” Louis chuckled, pulling out his pajamas, “It’s fine, babe. Honestly. I’m in a towel. It’d be a bit different if I were just stark-naked though, right?”

Harry choked on his own saliva, making Louis cackle. 

“I’m going to change in the bathroom. Be right back, babe.”

Harry shook his head, burying his face in his hands and laughing as Louis wiggled his bum before disappearing into the bathroom. Once he returned, he crawled into bed beside Harry.

“Your bed is comfy,” Louis said, flopping around so as to face Harry.

“You ever do this before?” Harry asked, reaching out to brush a strand of wet hair from Louis’ eyes.

“What? Share a bed with a cute boy?”

“Um,” Harry blushed, “Yeah.”

“No,” Louis admitted, “I mean, not like this. I’ve shared a bed with Zayn before. But this feels different. This _is_ different.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded.

“Have you?”

“No,” Harry answered, “I haven’t. I like sharing a bed. With you.”

“Me too,” Louis blushed before shoving at Harry’s shoulder a bit, “Roll over you big oaf,” Louis rolled his eyes, “How am I supposed to cuddle you if you’re facing this way?”

“You want to be the big spoon?” Harry asked, a little surprised.

“You’re always holding me and cuddling me,” Louis shrugged, “My turn. Now move, Styles.”

Harry laughed, rolling over onto his side. He felt Louis’ little arms wrap around him, holding him against him. Louis buried his nose between Harry’s shoulder blades and nuzzled. Harry felt Louis’ little fingertips begin to trace shapes on his left shoulder. His touch was feather-light and comforting. Harry closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Louis’ fingers on him. He’d forgotten how nice it felt to be held.

“Hey Haz,” Louis said quietly.

“Hmm, baby?”

“I don’t think I’m ready to like...officially say it just yet. But….just know that...that…” Louis took a breath and pressed his face into Harry’s back, “...I’m on my way to loving you too.”

Harry’s heart swelled, “Let’s get some sleep, sweet one. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked.

“You’ve got to help me clean out the garage,” Harry said.

“Oi!” Louis smacked Harry on the shoulder, a sharp contrast to the soft touches, “That’s what you think, Styles.”

“Oh, that’s what I _know_ ,” Harry laughed, “Now get back here get some sleep.”

Louis huffed, but reattached himself to Harry’s back. It took him a minute of grumbling and mumbling about how Harry was a tit for expecting him to help clean anything tomorrow, but after a bit of complaining and insults, the feather-touches returned to Harry’s shoulder. It didn’t take long before both boys fell asleep peacefully. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what this chapter is. It's a lot that's for sure! And I hope you love it as much as I do!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: mentions of past abuse, nudity.

Harry stirred awake as the sunlight shown through his bedroom blinds. He squinted at the light, trying to blink the blurry sleep from his eyes. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and saw that it was already after nine. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept in so long, or had slept so well. He felt well-rested and ready to take on the day. A little sigh beside him pulled Harry’s attention away from his thoughts. He’d almost forgotten Louis was in his bed, his little face pressed softly into his back, his breath hot and gentle on Harry’s shoulder blade. Harry had thought maybe he’d dreamed it all, but he hadn’t. Louis had really stayed the night, and Harry couldn’t help the smile on his face. He carefully rolled over to face the little body behind him. Louis was still sound asleep, breathing softly. His eyelashes kissed his cheekbones, and his little button nose twitched slightly. One little foot kicked slightly, and Harry bit down on the massive smile spreading across his face. 

Harry reached out and lightly brushed a soft strand of feathery hair from Louis’ eyes. He couldn’t explain it, he honestly couldn’t. In trying to wrap his brain around it, he only became frustrated, so he stopped trying. All he knew was that he was in love with this beautiful boy, and that he would do anything in the world for him. He felt silly - they had only just started to be around each other within the last month. And some of that time had been spent at each other’s throats. But Harry was certain that he’d never felt so strongly about someone before in his entire life, certain that he’d never again feel so strongly about someone in his entire life. It was Louis. It would always be Louis. 

It didn’t make sense, but maybe love wasn’t supposed to make sense. Maybe it was just supposed to be. Harry took a breath and again reached his hand up to brush the fringe back off Louis’ forehead. Louis’ nose crinkled slightly, he let out a soft little sigh. Harry’s smile deepened again as he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Louis’ nose. Louis’ nose scrunched even more, a soft little smile working it’s way across his lips. Harry knew he was awake.

“Good morning, little love,” Harry said softly.

“Hmmph,” Louis grumbled, “Too early.”

“ ‘s not too early, silly,” Harry argued, “It’s already after nine. We have to grab breakfast and get started on the garage. You’re going to have to get up, love.”

“Don’t wanna,” Louis pouted slightly, still not opening his eyes, “Didn’t agree to garage cleaning.”

“Well then come keep me company while I clean the garage.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Louis…” Harry chuckled. Louis looked so comfy curled up in his bed, and he hated the thought of having to wake him up, “I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Hmm,” Louis thought it over, still not opening his eyes, “Alright. I suppose. But kiss first.”

“Of course,” Harry pressed his lips softly to Louis’. Louis smiled against the kiss.

“Alright,” he said, finally blinking awake, “I suppose I will get up. If you insist, Harold.”

“One more kiss though,” Harry said, pressing another soft kiss to Louis’ lips.

“Careful, Styles,” Louis smirked, “a guy could get used to waking up next to you.”

“A guy could get used to waking up next to you too. What would you like for breakfast, baby? I can make eggs and bacon if you want. Maybe some toast.”

“Eggs, bacon, and toast sounds great!”

Harry hopped out of bed and together, he and Louis made their way downstairs to the kitchen. Louis plopped up on the kitchen counter in his usual spot, kicking his feet and rubbing the sleep from his eyes with tiny fists as Harry got everything together to prepare breakfast. It didn’t take long before they were eating at the kitchen table, chatting lightly and laughing about some joke Louis had made about the eggs being over easy.

After dumping their planets into the sink, they headed out to the garage. Harry pressed the button, and the garage door rattled open. His parents had taken the Jag, and his mother’s car was already parked in the driveway. Harry’s bike stood against one wall. There were boxes high up on shelves, as well as piled up along the walls. Harry sucked in a deep breath. He didn’t even really know where to begin. He knew his parents wanted him to organize the mess, tidy things up a bit. He knew for a fact that there were boxes of holiday decorations that were either broken or went unused each year. They could probably toss those out. He turned to give Louis a bit of instruction as to where to start, to see Louis already making his way over to one wall that had about a dozen boxes along it.

“I’ll start here,” Louis said, crouching down, “I think we should probably begin with the boxes of decorations. Find what’s broken and what’s still usable. Sort things out, condense a little.”

Harry blinked, slightly taken back by Louis’ initiative, “Sure,” Harry said, “That sounds great.”

“Sorry,” Louis winced a tad as he popped one of the boxes open, “I can be a bit bossy at times. I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Harry shook his head, “That’s a great idea, Louis. You start over there and I’ll begin with these boxes over here.”

“Sounds good,” Louis began to sort through his box, “I guess it just comes from wrangling a gaggle of little sisters. I can be a bit of a leader, and sometimes that comes across as bossy.”

“I don’t mind,” Harry said honestly, pulling out a knotted strand of Christmas lights, “I honestly didn’t even know where to start, so thank you.”

“Harold,” Louis said suddenly, “Why do you even have this?”

Harry turned to see what Louis was off about to see Louis pull out a black, glittery witches hat with a stringy lime-green wig attached. Harry couldn’t help but laugh as he abandoned his own box of Christmas lights to take the hat from Louis.

“My mom bought this back when Gemma and I were kids,” Harry said, fondly running his fingers through the tangled, stringy mess of green hair, “She used to put it on to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids. Remember?”

Louis lifted his shoulder in a soft shrug, avoiding Harry’s eyes, “After a point, I stopped bringing the girls to trick-or-treat at your house. I just...didn’t want to deal with that. God,” Louis choked back a half-hearted laugh, “I was so...so angry with you for so long, Harry. And I didn’t even have an excuse for it. I just...I saw you with your perfect life and your perfect family and it made me angry because I would never have that. I didn’t understand why you got to have that, and I didn’t. So I hated you for it. And fuck, I’m sorry for that.”

“Hey,” Harry sat the witch’s hat down on a closed box before reaching out to gently grasp the wisps of hair at the back of Louis’ neck, “It’s okay, Louis. It wasn’t me you hated, Louis. You just hated the circumstances, and the unfairness of it all. And you directed that hate at me. But I know it wasn’t anything personal. You were going through so much.”

Louis shook his head, closing his eyes so his lashes kissed his cheeks, “I thought such terrible things about you and your family. I didn’t understand it. Your dad...I thought he was like this huge scary person, but you two were always outside laughing and playing. Even when my dad was here, he never laughed or played with me. Neither did my stepdad. But you and your dad...he always made time for you. Always made an effort to be there for you.”

Harry dropped to his knees to kneel in front of Louis who had tugged his knees to his chest, “My dad is old school. He’s tough but he’s fair. And I know he loves me. But that doesn’t mean that just because you didn’t have the father-son-relationship like I did, that you didn’t deserve to. You deserved to have a dad look out for you, Louis. To chase away the monsters from under your bed at night, to read you stories before bed, to keep you in line, and to make you laugh. A father to watch out for you, to help you along the way. You deserved to have that, baby. And I’m so sorry you never got to have that.”

Louis lifted his eyes to meet Harry’s, and Harry’s heart ached to see they were filled with tears as Louis said, “I think that’s why I take being a brother so seriously. Because my sisters need someone like that in their lives. I try to be that for them, because I know what it’s like not to have anyone looking out for you. I want to look out for them.”

“You do,” Harry said desperately, “You do such a good job with them, Louis. But you can’t be their father, lovely. You are their brother, and that’s what they need you to be. You are so young and you put all this responsibility on your shoulders. It just...it makes me sad. You have so much going on in your life and I...I’m sorry. I should have tried harder to reach out to you in the past. I shouldn't have just given up like I did. I still cared so much for you, but you always pushed me away. And you were friends with Calvin and Oli and the other bullies and I just...I kind of stopped trying. But I shouldn’t have. I should have still been there for you, even just as a friendly face to wave at you in the halls.”

“Harry, with how angry I was at the world, if you’d done that, I’d probably have given you a bloody nose,” Louis admitted sadly, “I was so angry. I was no better than the bullies. I tried to convince myself I was, because I tried to keep them in line when it came to Marcel and their other targets. But I would laugh along with their jokes, I’d encourage them. And you were...you were a target more often than not.”

“I was?” Harry blinked, taken back by Louis’ admission.

“Yeah,” Louis turned away, “I mean, thinking back on it, I think I just wanted an excuse and a reason to talk about you, so I’d talk shit about you with them. It was stupid, but I just...I feel like you should know that. I don’t want to like...keep things from you. If you want to love me, Harry, you’re going to have to love the parts of me that aren’t very pretty. Like the asshole I have been and can be.”

“Louis,” Harry shook his head, brushing fringe from Louis’ eyes, “You aren’t an asshole. And I’ve already told you I don’t care about any of that. I care about you, right here, right now. You aren’t an asshole, Louis. You weren’t even an asshole back then. You were hurting, and there’s a difference. And you telling me these things isn’t going to change how I feel about you. I love you, Louis Tomlinson. And I think I may have since that day in the treehouse.”

Louis bit his lower lip, sweeping his gaze up to meet Harry’s. A soft smile broke out across his face as he said teasingly, “You only think that because I got you out of a spanking.”

Harry laughed, playfully teasingly Louis’ hair, “Nah,” Harry grinned, “I think that because ever since that day, I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. Like you were always just meant to be there inside my head, inside my thoughts, inside my heart. Like you’d made that your home and you weren’t ever going to leave and who was I to try to make you?”

“You are such a sap,” Louis shook his head fondly.

“Always a sap for you.”

“Jesus,” Louis wrinkled his nose, “We should get back to cleaning before you make me fucking cry, Harold.”

“Alright, alright,” Harry chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to Louis’ forehead before standing up and heading back towards his box of Christmas lights, “Hey, Lou?”

“Yeah, Haz?”

“You said your mom was off work today, right?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, “The girls are super happy about it. Why?”

“Well…” Harry focused his attention on the strand of lights in his hand, “My parents left a good bit of money for groceries. I was thinking maybe after we finish the garage, we can um...go to the store and pick out some things for a nice, proper dinner. And you can invite your mother and your sisters over for dinner. I...I want to meet your mom. But only if that’s okay with you! I don’t want to like rush you or overstep or…”

“No, no!” Louis blinked, appearing to be completely taken back by Harry’s suggestion, “That...that sounds good. It’ll make her so happy. She’s been bugging me about getting to meet you sometime soon.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, we’ll have to come up with a little bit of a story because she thinks I’m over at Z’s for the weekend. But we can definitely do that. I...I want you to meet her, Haz. I know things have been shit in my life, but she’s actually really amazing and strong to overcome all that she did. I want you to see her how I see her.”

“Louis,” Harry said, “She raised you. I’m sure she’s an amazing woman.”

The blush on Louis’ cheeks and the proud smile he was sporting made Harry’s heart flutter.

\--

After finishing the garage, both boys were exhausted. It was a lot of work, but both of them working together made it go by quicker - even if they did have a little spat that led them to tossing Gemma’s old pompoms from seventh grade cheer back and forth at each other until they were an absolute giggling mess. The garage was finally clean by one that afternoon, and they decided to head upstairs and get cleaned up a bit before heading to the grocery store.

“Let me just call up my mom real quick,” Louis said as Harry grabbed a t-shirt from his floor to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

“Of course,” Harry said, “I’ll just give you a minute.”

He ducked out of the bedroom and lingered in the hallway a bit, trying not to listen in on Louis’ phone call. He couldn’t help though that Louis was loud and excited and bubbly when he spoke to his mother, and Harry couldn’t help but smile hugely as Louis babbled on and on about coming for dinner. It made Harry’s heart skip a beat how animated Louis was on the phone, and how excited he seemed for their dinner. And Harry could hardly wait either. He wanted to meet Jay. He knew she had been through a lot, and Louis hadn’t had a very easy life and maybe she did contribute to that. But she had overcome so much and she’d done a pretty good job given how sweet Louis had turned out in the end. Harry couldn’t help but admire her a bit, and wanted to meet her in person. He wanted to see the woman who Louis clearly loved and adored.

Finally, the door popped open and Louis bounced on the balls of his feet, “She said yes, Haz! She and the girls will be over about seven for dinner! Is...is that okay?”

“Of course, baby,” Harry scooped Louis up into a hug, “That’s perfect, actually.”

“She’s so excited to meet you,” Louis giggled, tucking his face into Harry’s neck, “I think she kind of adores you already, to be quite honest.”

Harry squeezed Louis a little tighter, “I cannot wait to meet her, Lou. And it’ll be so good to see the girls again!”

“Daisy and Phoebe squealed in the background when they heard they’d be seeing you tonight. I think they might have a tad bit of a crush on you,” Louis smirked, pulling back from Harry’s embrace, “But they’ll just have to get over it, because you’re mine.”

“For as long as you’ll have me,” Harry said genuinely.

“Then looks like I’m stuck with you forever,” Louis quirked a brow, but before Harry could process the entirety of that statement, Louis slapped him on the hip and said, “So c’mon then, Harold. We both stink and need a shower. You coming or not?”

“A...a shower?” Harry blinked.

“Well, yeah,” Louis popped his hip to the side, “I mean, unless you don’t want to. But I don’t mind. No funny business though, Harold. It’s just...we’re both hot and sweaty and need to get cleaned up. It’ll be quicker together.”

“Right,” Harry nodded, swallowing thickly.

“Unless you’re not okay with that,” Louis blinked, “I don’t mind. I’ve seen Zaynie naked a thousand times. It’s just a shower. Nothing more. Not just yet.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded, processing what Louis was saying, “Right. Just a shower. Nothing more.”

“Just yet,” Louis smirked, “Soon though. But...not today.”

“That’s fine with me,” Harry nodded again, “When it’s right, it’ll be right.”

“Just not right today.”

“Okay,” Harry felt his heart pick up speed. He was going to shower with Louis! And even though they wouldn’t do anything, this still was extremely intimate. Harry felt his heart kick into overdrive at the thought of seeing Louis naked.

“So, you coming then?” Louis jerked his head towards the bathroom.

“Uh, sure,” Harry blinked, dutifully following behind Louis.

Once in the tiny bathroom, Louis reached around and shut the bathroom door behind them. They stood in the cramped bathroom, chest to chest. They didn’t take their eyes off each other, and Harry wondered if Louis could hear how loudly his heart was beating. It felt as though it’d beat right out of his chest. And the bathroom suddenly felt extremely cramped and extremely hot.

“No funny business,” Louis said again, “And no touching anything unless I tell you you can.”

“I promise,” Harry vowed.

“Okay then,” Louis grasped the hem of his t-shirt, “I’ll take my shirt off, then you.”

“Okay.”

Louis lifted his t-shirt up and over his head. Harry swallowed thickly at the sight of Louis shirtless. His chest was toned and he had the tiniest little waist and the smallest, itty bittiest nipples. Harry felt slightly dizzy. Louis was so, so gorgeous beyond anything Harry could ever even imagine. 

“Now you,” Louis instructed.

Harry nodded and pulled his own t-shirt off over his head. Louis’ eyes trailed slowly down Harry’s frame.

“Okay,” Louis bit his bottom lip, “Now then for pants. I’ll go first.”

“Okay.”

Louis pulled down his sweatpants, kicking them to the side and standing before Harry in just his underwear, “Hurry up, Harold. It’s fucking freezing like this.”

“Okay, okay,” Harry chuckled, taking off his own sweatpants and kicking them aside as well. Now they were just in their underwear. Harry felt absolutely dizzy. If it weren’t for the blush on Louis’ cheeks that worked itself all the way down his chest, he’d look the epitome of calm and cool.

“Now then for the boxers,” Louis said, shakily placing his hands on the waistband of his boxers.

“Together,” Harry said quickly.

Louis nodded, “Good idea. On the count of three.”

“Right,” Harry nodded, “One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

Together, they tugged their boxers down, kicking them aside. They stood there, eyes locked on each other’s afraid to move, afraid to speak. Harry had never felt this intimate before in his entire life. He’d never seen anyone besides Niall naked, and no offense to Niall, but it was very anticlimactic. This was something else entirely. He felt absolutely terrified and absolutely safe all at the same time.

“What are you thinking?” He asked Louis.

“If...if it’s okay for me to look at you.”

Harry took a shaky breath and nodded, “Yes. Yes, it’s okay if you look at me.”

Louis nodded, biting his lip slightly before dragging his gaze down. His eyes went a little wide as he said, “Shit, Haz.”

Harry flushed, “Can I...can I look at you?”

“Of course,” Louis nodded.

Harry’s eyes swept down Louis’ body. Louis was blushing from the tip of his ears to the tips of his toes. But holy shit he was beautiful. Everything about him was absolutely gorgeous and Harry felt slightly breathless.

“Well, that’s that then,” Louis cleared his throat.

“Right,” Harry nodded curtly.

“Should you um...start the water then?”

“Right,” Harry moved to the shower and twisted the nob for the hot water.

“In the shower…” Louis said, voice shaking, “...you can touch. Just not there.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded, “And you can touch too. Just not there.”

“I mean, no offense. I want you to. _Believe me._ But if you touch me there I might just burst on the spot and I...I’m not ready,” Louis admitted, cheeks flushing bright red.

“Honestly, me too,” Harry admitted, noticing Louis relaxing slightly at that, “The water’s warm.”

“Okay,” Louis nodded, “You step in first.”

“Okay.”

Harry stepped into the shower, holding the shower curtain out slightly for Louis to step in behind him. Harry stepped under the stream of water before moving to the side and letting Louis get under next.

“Can I wash you?” Harry asked gently.

Harry heard the faint little gasp of breath before Louis nodded quietly.

“Okay.”

Harry reached around and grabbed the body wash. He squeezed a fair amount into the palm of his hand before setting the bottle aside and rubbing his hands to lather up the soap. He started with Louis’ shoulders. Louis relaxed under his touch as Harry massaged Louis’ shoulders with care. He brought the soap down across his collarbones, and along his chest. He noticed Louis shudder, intaking a sharp little breath as his fingers brushed over Louis’ little nipples. 

“Shit, Lou,” Harry mummered, bringing the soap to Louis’ arms. 

“Sorry,” Louis blushed, “just...sensitive.”

“It’s okay,” Harry smiled gently, washing carefully under Louis’ arms, “You’re so pretty, Louis.”

Louis flushed pink again and glanced away, “Stop.”

“You _are_ ,” Harry insisted, “Everything about you is so pretty.”

Harry brought the soap down to Louis’ tummy, paying special attention to scribble his fingers along Louis’ little pooch, making him let out a stream of giggles and make feeble attempts to bat at Harry’s hands.

“No, no tickling!” Louis squealed.

“Sorry baby,” Harry grinned, giving him one last little tickle right to the left of his little belly button, “Can’t help it if you’re just so adorable.”

Louis rolled his eyes, but he was smiling brightly, and little giggles were still escaping his lips, the after effects of having been tickled.

“You’re a menace,” Louis said.

“I get it from you,” Harry smirked, “Going to um...do your legs now. Is that okay? If I kneel down?”

“Y-yeah,” Louis nodded.

Harry took a deep breath before going on his knees before Louis. It was so overwhelming to be so close to Louis. Harry took another sharp breath as he worked the soap down Louis’ legs. 

“One day,” Louis said conversationally, “I’m going to let you get your mouth on me.”

“Fuck!” Harry snapped, reaching up to pinch Louis’ hip - hard.

“Ow! Fucker!”

“Well you can’t just _say_ stuff like that!” Harry scolded, “Not when I’m...not when I’m on my knees with you basically less than an inch from my mouth.”

Louis laughed brightly, “Why not? That’s the perfect time to say stuff like that.”

“You are such a shit!” Harry scolded.

“You say this like it’s a surprise,” Louis smirked, “Now then, budge up. I’m going to rinse off and then wash you.”

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing himself up off the cold floor of the shower. He scowled at Louis as Louis hopped under the stream of water, carefully washing off the soap. Harry wanted to reach out and pinch him again just for that little remark. And Louis had the nerve to be smiling, pleased with himself. Harry swore this boy was going to drive him crazy one day - if he hadn’t already.

“Your turn,” Louis said brightly.

Harry rolled his eyes again and slipped back under the water to get wet one more time before Louis lathered him up. Louis squirted the soap into his hand and began to work it along Harry’s body. Only he wasn’t as gentle as Harry had been - instead, he insisted on giving little pinches here and there making Harry squeak and squirm under his touch. His little pinches didn’t hurt too badly, but they were just enough to cause a sharp little sting here and there. Harry gritted his teeth, deciding to let Louis have his fun. 

As Harry rinsed off, he said, “You’re such a shit. Don’t think I won’t get you for that later.”

Louis smiled, delighted by the threat, as he began to giggle.

Harry could only shake his head and continue to rinse off the soap. After he was all rinsed off, he shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around his waist, before grabbing a second towel for Louis. He unfolded it and held it out for Louis to step out of the shower and into.

Louis stepped out of the shower and Harry wrapped the towel around his frame from behind, grabbing him in his arms in the process and holding him still as he blew a raspberry right on Louis’ neck, making the smaller boy let out a sharp squeal of laughter.

“Harry!” Louis shrieked, trying to escape Harry’s grip.

“That’s for earlier,” Harry smirked, “You didn’t think I’d just let you pinch me without having some form of punishment for it, did you?”

“But...but…” Louis was interrupted as Harry blew a second raspberry in the same spot, making Louis scream with giggles again.

“You aren’t the only one who can be a little shit, Lewis,” Harry grinned, letting go of Louis, giving him a little smack on the bum as he did so.

“Hey,” Louis said, wrapping the towel tightly around himself, “Want to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“But if I tell you, you aren’t allowed to get soppy about it and you aren’t allowed to make a fuss over it. If I tell you, the only response you’re to have is to say ‘okay’ and kiss me. Deal?”

“Deal,” Harry nodded.

“Okay,” Louis stepped forward. He reached out to pinch a wet curl between his fingers before saying in a quick, mumbled voice, “Love you.”

Harry wasn’t sure at first if he’d heard Louis correctly. Surely Louis hadn’t just said...but he had. And all Harry could do in response was try not to float up into heaven as he abided by Louis’ rules - nodding and saying, “Okay,” before pressing a kiss to Louis’ lips. As their kiss deepened, he could feel Louis smile into the kiss. And they both broke their kiss, giggling quietly as they pulled apart from one another. 

\--

“What do you think we should cook for night, baby?” Harry asked, grabbing a cart from the entrance of the store.

“Hmm…” Louis thought it over, “Well...there’s one meal that I’ve always wanted to make. I had it once at a restaurant on my birthday and it was so, so good.”

“Tell me what we need to make it, lovely.”

“Chicken breasts, some mozzarella cheese, ham, and some potatoes.”

\--

When they got home from the store, Louis was perched on the counter, peeling the potatoes for homemade mashed potatoes while Harry washing some asparagus. 

“Hey, Lou,” he said, snapping off one of the ends of an asparagus stalk.

“Yeah, love?”

“Can I tell you a secret.”

“Sure,” Louis brightened a tad, “What’s up?”

“I’m...a little nervous about meeting your mom.”

“Oh, Haz!” Louis dropped the potato peeler and reached out to squeeze Harry’s elbow tenderly, “Don’t be nervous about that! Trust me, she loves you already! When she gets home from work, she usually comes into my room and wakes me up and we sit together and have tea and talk about days. Well, recently, all we talk about during our tea is you, silly! She always has so many questions. What are you like, what’s your favorite color, what your favorite subject in school is, if you treat me right, what my favorite things about you are.”

Harry relaxed a tad, asking, “And what do you tell her?”

Louis pinched Harry’s nipple, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Harry huffed, rolling his eyes. He knew Louis wouldn’t tell him that easily. But it did make him feel a bit better that Jay asked about him and was active in getting to know more about him, and his relationship with Louis. 

“She’s important to you,” Harry said, turning his attention back to the asparagus, “I want to make a good impression on her.”

“You already have,” Louis said, peeling another potato, “Trust me, Haz. She knows how happy you make me. You’ll be fine tonight. You’ll be more than fine. She’ll adore you.”

Harry hoped Louis was right.

\--

That night, Harry and Louis dressed up in jeans and nice shirts as opposed to the sweatpants that they’d been living in for the last day. Harry felt butterflies in his stomach all evening, and it was as if Louis could tell, because throughout the evening, he would press little kisses to Harry’s jaw, shoulders, and cheek - as if trying in his little way to calm him down. Harry knew he should listen to Louis, but that still didn’t ease his nerves by much. He just wanted Jay to like him. He wanted her approval. 

Finally, the doorbell rang at precisely seven. Harry hopped up from the couch where they were both sitting and waiting. He blanched and Louis reached out, taking his hands in his own.

“Haz, you’ll be wonderful as always,” Louis said brightly, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Harry relaxed slightly as Louis led him towards the front door. Harry took a deep breath before opening the door. Right away, he was greeted by the squeals of Daisy and Phoebe as they ran to him, hugging him around the waist.

He couldn’t help but laugh as he hugged both girls back, “Hi, princesses,” Harry said brightly, “I’ve missed you!”

“We’ve missed you too!”

“Alright, alright, budge over,” Fizzy shooed them away so she could slot herself under Harry’s arm, giving him a tight squeeze, “It’s good to see you again, Harry.”

“You too, Fizz,” Harry said, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

“Hi,” Lottie gave a small wave.

“Hi,” Harry waved back.

“So,” she said, “You made dinner then?”

“We both did,” Harry said, smiling to Louis.

“Well I hope you didn’t let this one near the stove,” Lottie rolled his eyes, “The food’ll be burnt.”

“Hey!” Louis frowned, “I did an _excellent_ job at dinner!”

“Lottie,” Jay scolded softly, “Be nice.”

Upon hearing Jay speak, Harry turned his attention to her. She was a spitting-image of Louis’ sisters, her features still young. And in spite of how tired she seemed, she smiled brightly - a smile Harry was very familiar with. Her eyes crinkled when she smiled and Harry was a little taken back at how very similar to Louis she appeared.

“Hello, Harry,” she said warmly, “I know we haven’t met yet, but might I have a hug too?”

“Of course!” Harry went to hug her, only to be pulled into a massive hug by her. He relaxed into her embrace, all the stress and tension he felt early suddenly melting away.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you,” she said as she let him go, “I hear so much about you from Louis, but I was hoping I’d finally get to meet you in person. Not that I don’t feel like I don’t already know you,” she poked Louis playfully in the stomach, making him giggle, “Louis here talks about you constantly.”

“Hey!” Louis swatted at her hand, “I do not!”

“Sure you do!” Lottie grinned, “It’s all Harry this and Harry that and Hazza this and Hazza that.”

“It’s true,” Fizzy nodded.

“Pests, all of you,” Louis huffed, heading towards the living room.

“Oh, come in, come in,” Harry opened the door wider, “Sorry! The chicken is just about out of the oven. But we can all head into the kitchen. We have soda and...um...water with lemon. I can make tea too if anyone prefers that. Or…”

Suddenly Harry felt a firm hand on his shoulder as they were making their way towards the kitchen, the girls already darting ahead, “Relax, baby,” Jay said, “Louis adores you, it’s clear to me you’re good to him. You’ve already won me over. Tonight is just about family getting to know each other.”

Harry felt his heart grow three times bigger. He could only smile and nod as he led her to the kitchen.

Everyone chatted lightly as Harry pulled the chicken from the oven. Louis stirred up the pot of mashed potatoes and together, he and Harry began to fix plates for everyone.

“Alright,” Lottie said, taking her plate from Louis, “I have to admit, this doesn’t look too much like shit.”

“Lottie!” Jay scolded, though she was laughing as she said it, “It looks delicious baby,” Jay pressed a kiss to Louis’ temple.

They brought their plates out to the dining room. Despite Louis’ protests, Daisy and Phoebe sat next to Harry. He was left to sit in between Lottie and Fizzy, and Jay sat at the head of the table. Louis pouted just for a bit, until he saw Phoebe and Daisy giggling at something Harry had told them. He could no longer pout after that.

“This is quite delicious,” Jay said, taking a bite of her chicken, “You two did such a good job!”

“Thanks, Mom,” Louis beamed.

“Thank you, Ms. Deakin.”

“Jay, please,” Jay smiled warmly at Harry, “So, Harry. Tell me a little bit about yourself. I mean, I feel like I already know you, but I want to hear from you. What are some of your favorite subjects in school? You’re a junior this year, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” Harry nodded, “I still have another year to go. I really like English and History. But after being involved with the play this semester, I might take Drama next year.”

“Drama has always been Louis’ favorite.”

“He’s so talented,” Harry said, watching Louis blush across the table, “I am quite sure those talent scouts will be completely taken with him.”

“Oh me too! He’s going to blow them away.”

“Mom...” Louis squirmed in his seat.

“Hush, Louis,” Jay scolded, “I’m allowed to brag about my favorite son.”

“Mom…”

“I mean it, Louis,” Jay fixed him with a look, “You are very talented and I’m allowed to brag about that. All the nurses at work ask me about my future Broadway star.”

“Oh Mom!” Louis buried his face in his hands.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at Louis’ embarrassed reaction.

“He’s going to go on to be so famous,” Fizzy said proudly, “He’s destined for stardom.”

“Oh my God,” Louis whined behind his hands.

“The next Aaron Tveit!” Lottie said brightly.

“I hate all of you,” Louis mumbled, but Harry could see the smile on his face as he pulled his hands away.

“Harry,” Jay turned her attention back to Harry, “Louis tells me you’re the one who thought of the idea for the play? I think that’s such an amazing idea! Honestly, to make a classic love story with two male leads is just so...really amazing. I think more stories need to be re-envisioned in that way. It normalizes gay love stories and I just think that’s such a good idea you had.”

“Thank you,” Harry beamed. They had finished their dinner by now, and Jay said -

“Louis, why don’t you take the girls into the living room and let me chat a bit with Harry, please.”

Louis blanched, but did as his mother said.

“But I want to stay with Harry!” Daisy protested.

“Well that’s just too bad, ladybug,” Louis said, hoisting her up on his hip as he and the girls headed towards the living room.

Harry felt all the nervousness return. Louis had been sort of like an anchor for him, keeping him calm and relaxed in the situation. But now it was just Harry and Jay, and he felt the butterflies in his stomach. He pretty much knew what was coming. He had a mother. This was going to be the talk. The threaten-to-make-your-life-a-living-hell-if-you-hurt-my-baby talk. But when Jay spoke, she surprised him.

“I know Louis has told you about his childhood,” she said bluntly, “And I know that I am to blame for a lot of what he went through. It wasn’t easy on him, and I will forever be sorry for that, Harry. Please know that. I was...I was a little nervous to meet you tonight, I must admit. I know that you know about our family, and what Louis has been put through. I don’t want you to look down on me for this, Harry. I don’t want you to see me as a bad mother. I love my children. You have to believe that.”

Harry’s heart broke at her words, “Jay...I don’t doubt that for a moment. Louis has told me about his childhood, yeah. But he’s told me so much of how strong you are and how much he admires you. He truly adores you. And I don’t feel like you’re a bad mother at all. If anything, I feel like you’re a wonderful mother. You are so strong and your children love you so much.”

Jay smiled glancing down at her hands that were folded on the table, “I am better now than I was. I had Louis when I was so young myself. And motherhood doesn’t come with a handbook. I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way. My biggest was probably what happened when my boyfriend left us. He hurt Louis and called him horrible things, and all I could see was another man walking our lives. And I told Louis it was his fault. My son who was bleeding and hurt and I told him it was his fault. And I shut down. I fell into a bad place, Harry. And Louis had to be the one to look after everyone. He took on so much, and he had to grow up so fast. I got help though, and I got back into my career. I work hard to take care of my babies, and sometimes that means I miss out on a lot. Louis still has to take on a lot, but I’m trying to be around more. I’m trying to be present in their lives. I just...Louis deserves a lot of goodness, Harry.”

“I know,” Harry nodded.

“No, let me finish,” Jay held up a hand, “Louis doesn’t talk about what he went through much, but I know it bothers him still to this day. And what I did to him on top of that...I can only imagine the pain it caused and that kills me, Harry. It kills me. Louis is deserving of someone to love him fully and completely. I know you love him and care for him. But he just...he deserves so much. I want to know that I can count on you not to hurt him. He’s been hurt so much in his life and I can’t stand to see him get hurt another time. Now then, you’re a sweet boy, Harry. A real charmer. But I swear on my life if you do anything to hurt my boy, I will end you.”

Harry swallowed thickly, “Jay, I would never hurt your son. I want you to believe that. And I know as his mother, nothing I can really say will ease your worries. But I’ll prove it to you. I love your son so much, with everything I am. And I know we’re young, and I know I might know a lot about the world or how it works, but I know I love Louis and I will do anything for Louis. And that’s the way it’ll always be no matter what.”

Jay smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze Harry’s hand, “He’s lucky to have you, you know. When we have our time together, just him and me, he lights up like a Christmas tree when he talks of you. He gets so bubbly and excited, and I’ve never seen him like this. He’s usually so withdrawn at times. But when he speaks of you, he opens up to me. And I just see how good you are for him. I’m very thankful to you for that, Harry. And I want you to know, that you have a place in our family. You are welcome over at anytime. The girls clearly adore you - even Lottie. And how much of an effect you have on them, and on my baby boy, really means the world to me.”

Harry felt tears prickle his eyes as he squeezed Jay’s hand in response, “Thank you.” He didn’t know how to even form the words to say more than that.

“C’mon,” Jay nodded towards the living room, “Let’s go check on them. It’s getting late and I need to get the little ones ready for bed soon.”

Together, they made their way into the living room. Louis was chasing a squealing, giggling Daisy and Phoebe around the living room as he made playful growling noises at them. Lottie was sitting on the couch, texting on her phone, and Fizzy was watching Louis delightedly.

“Harry! Harry! Save us!’ The twins squealed as they ran to hide behind Harry.

“Is the evil monster tormenting the pretty princesses?” Harry asked, sending a playful glare to Louis.

“Yes!” The girls squealed.

“Alright,” Jay laughed, clapping her hands together, “We better be heading home. Say goodnight, girls.”

“Good night!” The twins hugged Harry tightly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jay pulled Louis into a hug and kissed his cheek.

“Yup. Going to head to Zayn’s after this.”

“Louis William,” Jay laughed, ruffling his hair as he feebly attempted to duck away from her, “I was not born yesterday. I know you’re staying here this weekend while Mr. and Mrs. Styles are out of town. We’ll discuss your attempts at lying to your mother later. For now though, you two have fun and be safe.”

Harry sheepishly stared at his shoes until Jay went to him and hugged him close, kissing his cheek, “I hope to see lots more of you,” she said firmly before following the girls out the front door.

“Well,” Louis sighed, shutting the door after them, “That wasn’t too painful, was it?”

“Not at all,” Harry pulled Louis into a hug and kissed his forehead, “I love your mom by the way.”

“I told you she was awesome.”

“Are you going to be in too much trouble for lying?”

“Eh,” Louis shrugged, “I’ll probably get my keys taken away for like a week. Good thing I have a sexy boyfriend with a motorcycle who can drive me around.”

“Oh, is that so?” Harry laughed, quirking a brow.

“That’s so,” Louis nuzzled back under Harry’s arm, “I’m sleepy. Let’s go up to your room and pop in a movie.”

“Sounds good. We can do the dishes tomorrow.”

They headed up to Harry’s room, and changed into their pajamas before popping a DVD into Harry’s television. Together, they curled up on Harry’s bed as Harry pressed PLAY on the remote.

“Big day, huh?” Louis asked, drawing little shapes on Harry’s shoulder.

“Lots of firsts for sure,” Harry nodded.

“Gonna have many, many, many first with you, Hazza,” Louis said softly.

“Is that so?” Harry asked, smiling at the thought.

“Mmhmm. A lifetime of them.”

“Gonna keep me around that long?” Harry asked, lifting Louis’ chin with his fingertip.

“Never getting rid of me, Harold. You’re stuck with me.”

“Can’t say I mind the sound of that,” Harry grinned, kissing Louis on the tip of his nose.

“Maybe love you a little bit,” Louis nuzzled his face into the crook of Harry’s neck.

“Maybe love you a lot a bit,” Harry carded his fingers through Louis’ hair.

Louis bit Harry on the shoulder before smiling and saying, “Yeah yeah, me too. Now watch the movie, silly!” 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: I fucked up with this fic. I love this plot and I love this fic so much. It has such a special spot in my heart. But I messed it up. I rushed into things and was sloppy with some of my writing. There’s a lot more I wanted to do, but I rushed so fast - too fast - and some of the things I wanted to do, fell behind. For example, the character of Louis. I spoke with a good friend this weekend about this fic and they gave me some great suggestions. Louis is very emotionally scarred and that was very glossed over. And his character deserved better. His character deserved more from me as the writer. And because I rushed things so fast - too fast, I felt very stuck. It’s one of the reasons why I haven’t touched this fic in so long - because I was angry at myself for what I’d done to it. I wanted to do much more and I felt in a place where I was stuck with it because I’d rushed too much too fast.
> 
> I am going to add some drama and angst. Now then, I know that might come across as being “lazy” or “repetitive” - especially with the storyline I choose to do. But for the character of Louis, it is crucial. I considered deleting about six chapters and just adding onto their first fall-out, when Louis first pulled away. But I have a lot put into those chapters and a lot of lovely comments that I do reread at times that I don’t want to lose. So please don’t brush this plot off as being lazy or repetitive. It’s just me correcting things and making it what it should have been. If it seems harsh or random, it sort of is. And that’s my own fault. I am trying to overcorrect a huge mistake in my past chapters. So please be understanding of that and read the following chapters with an open mind.
> 
> Thank you for still sticking with me after all this time. Thank you for hanging in there with me and being patient and understanding with me. You all are so kind and amazing to me. I really appreciate every single one of you. And I’m sorry because you, and this story, both deserved better. And I’m sorry if any of you felt cheated out of this story. I am trying to correct that and make this story what I intended for it to be originally. Thank you for your understanding.
> 
> Now then, onto the chapter! :)

 

When Harry woke, it was to an empty bed. He flung his arm over to the opposite side, searching for the soft, warm boy he’d expected to be there. All he felt was coldness. Harry sat up a little straighter, blinking sleep from his eyes as he glanced around his bedroom. The light to the bathroom was off, and Louis was nowhere to be seen. Harry felt a little surge of panic as he hopped up from the bed. Maybe Louis had just gone downstairs to fix a snack or grab a drink of water. Harry ran a hand through his curls, trying to take a breath and keep calm, but there was something sinking in the pit of his stomach. The sinking feeling continued to grow, and Harry knew Louis was gone even before finding the note on his desk. 

The note was written on a torn off piece of notebook paper from one of the notebooks Harry kept on his desk. The handwriting looked messy, hurried. Harry’s eyes scanned the note as his heart raced. He felt hot, hot, hot as he read what Louis had written. And by the time he’s finished reading, Harry felt his entire world crumble down around him.

The first thing Harry wanted to do after reading the note was to call Louis, to scream at him, to ask him how dare he do this to him again - put him through this all over again - after having made him fall in love with him. How dare Louis say he couldn’t do this after having just told Harry he loved him and wanted to have a whole lifetime of firsts with him. Harry wanted to scream at him, wanted to shake him, wanted to slap him across the face for this. Instead, he balled up the note in his fist and threw it across his bedroom. If Louis wanted to do this again, if Louis wanted to walk out on him again - especially now after everything - then Harry would let him. He wasn’t going to try to stop him. Besides, Harry couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t keep chasing after someone who didn’t want to be caught. And Louis, he was quite certain, didn’t want to be caught.

Nothing made sense though. Harry had thought that they had overcome whatever issues Louis was fighting through. He thought that Louis had been fine! Louis himself seemed so much happier and at ease. He’d said he’d loved him. He’d said he wanted so many firsts with Harry. And Harry had felt like this was it, that they were finally in a good, healthy spot in their relationship. But Louis had gone and thrown that all away. Louis was selfish and Louis was cruel, and Harry wondered why he’d tried so hard in the first place. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to never see Louis Tomlinson again. He didn’t understand how a single person could be so cruel. Didn’t Louis know that this was cruel? That making Harry fall in love with him, and saying all these sweet, lovely things to him, making Harry feel like they were solid, and then stripping that all out from underneath him was cruel? They had had his family over. Jay had made Harry feel as though he was a part of her family. She’d said how often Louis had spoken of him. Nothing made sense. Harry just wanted to curl up in bed and never come out. But he knew he’d never be able to turn his brain off enough to sleep. Nothing added up. And Harry hated that. He wanted some sort of logic. He wanted more of an explanation than “I can’t do this.” Harry deserved more than that.

Instead of trying to go back to sleep, Harry headed downstairs. He needed to just do something, he needed to put his brain on something else other than Louis and other than the crippling pain in his chest. So Harry cleaned. He focused all his anger and all his attention on vacuuming and wiping down the counters. He didn’t let himself cry until a glass slipped from his hands and shattered against the tile floor. Then the tears began. Harry was kneeling down on the floor, picking up shards of glass when Zayn found him. Harry supposed the front door was still unlocked from Louis having snuck out in the middle of the night, but it still surprised him when he glanced up to Zayn standing there.

“H, what the hell,” Zayn said, kneeling down beside him and grabbing his wrists in his hands, “Harry, what’s going on? I rang the doorbell like five times, didn’t you hear me? And what’s happening here? You’re bleeding, H. Look at your hands. Come on. Up, up. Let’s get you all fixed up, alright?”

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked, feeling the hot tears on his cheeks, “Why are you here?”

“Shh,” Zayn helped Harry up off the floor, “Where’s your medicine cabinet?”

“Upstairs.”

“Alright, well take me upstairs and we’ll get you all cleaned up. You’re bleeding pretty bad, H. Did you not notice?”

Harry hadn’t noticed. All he’d focused on was the broken glass as he tried to ignore the tears that seemed to pour from his eyes without pause. He couldn’t let himself stop and think or else his thoughts would go to Louis. So no, he hadn’t noticed the blood on his hands or the shards of glass in his palms.

“He left again,” Harry said, his voice sounding mechanic in his ears, “He left.”

“I know, H. I know. That’s why I stopped by. I came to check on you.”

“What time is it? It’s...it’s the middle of the night.”

“No, H. It’s almost nine now. Thank God I stopped by. You’re scaring me, Harry.”

“He left me again.”

“I know. I know.”

Zayn led Harry into the bathroom and began to raid the cabinets looking for whatever it was he was looking for. Harry had a million questions he wanted to ask Zayn, but all he could focus on now was his hands. He hadn’t even felt the glass cut him, but now that he’d seen it, he felt the pain. God his hand felt as though it’d been dipped in acid. But for some reason, now, no tears came. Harry heaved, trying to force himself to stay calm but already feeling the panic build up inside of him.

“Here,” Zayn set some bandages and gauze as well as a set of tweezers and alcohol down from the cabinet, “I need to wash off the blood so I can see the glass. So I’m going to rinse off your hand with the alcohol. This is going to burn a little bit. Okay, maybe more than a little bit.”

“Just...do it,” Harry clenched his teeth.

Zayn took a deep breath, uncapping the alcohol and pouring it over Harry’s hands into the sink. Harry hissed at the pain. If he thought he was in pain before, he had no idea. 

“It’s alright,” Zayn soothed, picking up the tweezers, “I’m going to pull the glass from your hands now, okay. It’l hurt a bit, but I have to get it out.”

“I know, I know,” Harry clenched his teeth harder.

“One time, when we were little,” Zayn said, working at plucking the bits of glass from Harry’s palms, and setting the little shards onto a tissue, “Louis got the worst splinter and…”

“I don’t want to hear about Louis. If this is why you’re here…”

“Harry, he called me. There’s a lot of things you should know.”

“I don’t want to hear them.”

“Look, H. I know it doesn’t make sense right now, and you can bet I’m pissed at him too for putting you through this again. I’m not here to try to justify his behavior in anyway. That’s not...there’s no justifying to be done here. What he did to you wasn’t right. Especially...especially after how things were between you recently. But he was really shaken and…”

“I don’t want to hear about this, Zayn. I don’t.”

“Okay, okay,” Zayn nodded, “But…”

“Zayn, no. Look, what’s done is done,” Harry set his jaw, “Louis clearly doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. I’m not going to pressure him into it. I’m done. I can’t do this again. I can’t. This is the second time he’s broken my heart, Zayn. Do you know he told me he loved me? He told me just last night as we were falling asleep that he loved me and wanted so many firsts with me. He said that. And then I woke up and he was gone. All that was left was a fucking note because apparently he didn’t have the balls to tell me in person. What am I supposed to do with this? Am I supposed to take everything we had between us as a lie?”

“No! No, don’t do that,” Zayn was quick to say, “Harry, don’t. It wasn’t a lie, okay. It wasn’t. He loves you. I know he does. But Louis...he’s never...he never felt that way for someone before. There’s been times when it’s come close, but he’s never felt something as deeply for someone as he does for you. Trust me on that. It scares him. And he freaked out last night. Harry, he had a panic attack. He left and came to my place. He was an absolute wreck, Haz. You should have seen him. I’ve never seen him like that before in my life. Not even when his mom’s boyfriend left, and not even when...when he went through his last breakup. He feels like shit, Harry. You have to talk to him.”

“You’re wrong,” Harry said flatly, “I don’t have to talk to him at all. In fact, I never have to speak to him again. I am done, Zayn. Done. He seemed fine. We seemed fine. And then he went and pulled this shit again. And I’m just so over it. I can’t take it again, Zayn. He told me he loved me. He told me...he told me he loved me.”

“I know. I know. But Harry, you have to know that wasn’t a lie. He does love you. But that scares the shit out of him. You should try to talk to him. I am sure you two can work this stuff out. You just have to…”

“No,” Harry shook his head, “No. Zayn, you don’t get it. I am done. I cannot mentally or emotionally do this again with him. This is cruel. He can’t just pull me around like that. One moment I’m falling asleep beside him thinking that this is the boy I am going to be in love with for the rest of my life, and the next moment I’m waking up to an empty bed and a note. Christ, that fucking note!”

“What did he say exactly?” Zayn asked, plucking more glass from Harry’s palm.

“I...I can’t even remember,” Harry frowned. He remembered balling up the paper and tossing it against the wall, but he couldn’t remember the actual words Louis had written. All he remembered was the numb feeling of Louis being gone, and honestly, that feeling had yet to wear off.

“Okay, well would you mind if I read it once I finish up here?” Zayn asked, setting the tweezers down, “I think I got all the glass. I’m going to rinse your hands again with the alcohol and then wrap them in gauze and the ace bandages. You should probably keep your hands bandaged for a few days. Just wash them really well a few times a day. You got neosporin?”

“Yeah, in the cabinet. And I guess you can read his note. I don’t really want to look at it again. Honestly, how am I supposed to even face him at school? I want to just...I want to punch him or yell at him for this. I just wish I had never gotten involved with him in the first place. I can’t do this, Zayn. I can’t. He’s destroying me. Does he not know that?”

Zayn pursed his lips, unraveling some of the gauze, “He knows.”

“Then why? Why is he still doing this? I thought we were past those issues.”

“Harry,” Zayn said softly, applying some of the ointment to Harry’s hands “Please tell me that you didn’t think that Louis’ issues somehow just faded away. Please tell me you didn’t think that.”

Harry flushed, ducking his head to the side. He couldn’t meet Zayn’s eyes. Hearing it outloud like that, he realized just how stupid he’d been. He had thought that Louis’ issues were in the past. He had thought that if he just loved him enough, that Louis’ problems would all go away. And he knew that’s now how anything worked. Harry knew better, and still he’d let himself think that.

“Loving him isn’t going to somehow ‘cure’ him,” Zayn explained, softly rubbing the ointment into Harry’s palms, “No matter how much love you show him, all those issues are still going to be there. You aren’t some sort of savior, H. You can’t somehow erase all his scars. But the thing is, as a couple, you can work through them together. Louis is always going to have abandonment issues. He’s always going to feel like he’s never enough. But the thing is, you have to know that, and accept those parts of him that are a bit scarred and mangled, and work with him as his partner to cope with those thoughts. Because the damage that was done to him isn’t just going to go away. But you both have to learn to cope with it together.”

“There is no together anymore,” Harry bit his lip as Zayn began to wrap the gauze around his right hand, “He’s done and so am I. I have to take myself into consideration here too, Z. I can’t keep putting myself through this. I did let myself think that if I just loved him enough, that things would be okay. But they’re not. And I told myself not to push him, but I think I did. I’ve done everything wrong here, and I just...I don’t know if I can fix this. Or if I want to fix it. Because I can’t risk him breaking me for the third time.”

“Fair enough,” Zayn nodded, “I get that, H. I do. I don’t really know what to say. I love Louis. I am always going to be in his corner, always. But you...you don’t deserve the things he’s put you through. Both of you have been put through too much shit. And it’s not fair to either of you.”

“What did he say exactly?” Harry finally worked up the courage to ask, “When he came to your house? What did he say?”

Zayn was wrapping the ace bandage around Harry’s hand as he answered, “He called my phone like twenty times before I finally woke up and answered it. He was standing outside the front door and wanted me to let him in. I opened the door and he um...he fell into my arms and kept saying that...that he fucked up. And that he couldn’t do this anymore. He said he was falling in love with you, and didn’t know what to do. And had to protect himself. He kept saying that...he kept saying that Marcus was right.”

“Who’s Marcus?”

“Marcus was a guy Louis was into last year. They met at Lou’s summer job. He was older than us, a college guy. And Louis...Louis liked him a lot. I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I think you deserve to hear it. Especially because of what happened this morning. But Louis was crazy about Marcus. Marcus was nineteen and cool and Louis had never had a boyfriend before, and sort of jumped at the chance when Marcus showed him attention. And Marcus was Louis’ first. But then Louis sort of freaked out, because he hadn’t felt ready at the time. And he pushed Marcus away. And Marcus...Marcus didn’t react too well to that. He um...he told Louis that no one could ever love Louis with all the issues he had. He told Louis that he hoped he enjoyed being alone...because no man wanted a broken boy. And Louis...that fucked him up. It was almost like the time his mom’s boyfriend walked out on them. It was...it was bad. He um...he was really bad off after that. He doesn’t talk about Marcus ever anymore. But I know it still bothers him. Especially after today. He kept saying that Marcus was right, that he was broken. That no one could possibly love him. It was...it was bad, Harry.”

“But it’s not true though,” Harry said, feeling the tears stinging his eyes all over again, “It’s not. Because I loved him. I do love him. I love him so much, Zayn. He believed that. He said it back! I don’t understand! I don’t understand how we can go from these last few days to this. I just...I don’t get it.”

“It doesn’t have to make sense,” Zayn began to put away the medical supplies and clean up the bloody tweezers, “It’s his anxiety, Harry. It’s his emotional anxiety. He just...he panicked. He said he woke up beside you and all of it felt too real and too fast and too much like Marcus, only a hundred times more real. And it scared him. He felt himself fall so hard for you so fast, and he’s so used to having to protect himself. You have to understand that. Louis has been broken down so much, that his only coping mechanism is to shove everyone away and run. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s Louis. And this is all stuff I wish you’d talk to him about, H. Because I can’t try to explain his thoughts in words. But this is who he is. He’s scared. And he freaked out. And I wish you’d just sit down with him…”

Harry shook his head, pulling away from Zayn, “I can’t, Zayn. I can’t. If I get close to him again, it’ll hurt too much. I can’t keep doing this with him. I was falling so hard, so fast for him. And finally we were together and things were good between us. And then he lost it and shoved me away. And that destroyed me inside. It killed me. You remember that. I was so shaken by that. But I told myself he was worth it. I told myself not to rush him, and to take things at his pace. I told myself that I needed to keep things slow, and show him - prove to him - that I’m not going to be one of those people to walk out of his life. And we were working again. I told him I’d take things at his pace. He never...he never told me it was too much too fast. Maybe it was. I don’t know! He didn’t speak up though! And we said we loved each other and we...we had fun together. I met his mom and Jay...Jay made me feel like a part of their family. And it was so, so good. And Louis was so happy it seemed. And I was so happy. I just don’t get it. I don’t get what happened in the moments between that, and leading up to him leaving me. I don’t get it. But I can’t do it again, Zayn. He’s hurt me too much. You have to get that. Maybe you were right the first time. Maybe love isn’t enough.”

“Love isn’t enough for some things, Harry. Love isn’t enough to fix someone who’s been emotionally abused so many times. Love isn’t enough to erase his scars. You can love him to hell and back, but it won’t erase what he’s been through, and the damage that was done to him. Panic attacks and anxiety...they don’t have to make sense, H. You can be perfectly content, and happy. Everything can be going great in your life. And suddenly, it hits into you like a semi. Louis said he was laying beside you in bed, and all he heard was Marcus’ voice telling him that he was broken and that he was unloveable. And he had to get out of there. Please let me read his note though. I want to see what he said to you.”

“It’s in my room,” Harry brushed past Zayn, heading towards his bedroom. He heard Zayn’s words, and they made sense, but they weren’t really sinking in. He still didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand how, if Louis loved him, he could put him through this again. And if it was a panic attack, couldn’t they just sit down together and talk it out? If Louis was anxious, why hadn’t he woken up Harry? Harry could have set with him, held him, and talked to him about this. He could have told him that Marcus was wrong, so wrong. Because just because Louis was a bit scarred, he wasn’t damaged. He wasn’t a broken boy. He wasn’t broken at all. He was still so beautiful and sweet and lovely and perfect and that Harry was head over heels for him. But Louis hadn’t give him the chance. Louis had made the decision for the both of them to end this.

Harry crouched down on the floor and picked up the balled up note with the bandage mittens he had for hands. He handed the ball to Zayn who began to unrumple the note and smoothe out the paper.

“Can I read this outloud?” Zayn asked.

“I don’t care,” Harry lied, sitting down on the edge of his mattress.

“Okay,” Zayn cleared his throat, “Harry, I am so sorry. I know you will hate me for what I am about to do. And maybe I deserve that. But I just can’t do this anymore. I shouldn’t have done it at all. It was too much, too fast and I should have said something but I didn’t. And I realize now that I cannot do this. I can’t handle the kind of love you want to give me. And you deserve so much more than the person I am. I hate myself for doing this to you for a second time. It’s shit, I know. But I have to. Please try to understand that. I have to go, Harry. I can’t do this anymore. Don’t ask me to do this anymore. Louis.”

“It’s such bullshit,” Harry hissed.

“Hey, no,” Zayn set the note on the bedside table before sitting down beside Harry, “Don’t you do that. If this is what he was feeling, that’s not bullshit. It might be shitty, and it might suck. But don’t write it off as just being bullshit, H. It was his thoughts. And even if they were anxious-riddled thoughts, they were still his. He told me he made a mistake in falling for you, and that you deserved better. That’s what he thinks, Harry. That you deserve better than him. That you deserve more than someone who’s broken. If you could just show him…”

“I can’t though. I can’t. I tried. I tried so hard. And I was happy, and he was happy. And it’s all gone, Zayn. And who’s to say that it won’t be the same thing all over again. I show him how much he means to me, we work through our stuff, get back together. Say we last. Say it’s a good, amazing thing. Say we go off to college together. Say we have a little life together. And then what? I wake up in a bed, alone again? That’s too much to put on the line like that. And I just can’t. Maybe this is what’s best. Maybe...maybe two people just aren’t supposed to love each other.”

“But you do. You love each other.”

“You said it yourself, Zayn. Sometimes, love just isn’t enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is it. Please understand that when I intitially had Louis pull away, I wanted to do a lot more with his character, focus on his anxiety and the emotional scars, focus on Harry having to learn that no amount of love can just cure someone of those scars. The next chapters will focus on these issues. I glossed over them the first time. This is sort of a "redo" a chance for me to do it correctly and do justice to the storyline, to the characters, and to the issues themselves of past abuse and mental illness. Thank you so much for sticking with me, and please be understanding. The hard thing is that this has always been in Harry's POV, and I don't want to randomly change that, but it makes knowing what's in Louis' heart and head difficult for an outsider. Please don't hate Louis' character for the things Harry is thinking and feeling right now. Again, thank you for sticking with me and for your patience and understanding. xx


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